1. Tallahassee Baseball Regional: Auburn-Col. Charleston - Fri. noon / FSU vs. Mercer Fri. 6pm. Talk about it on the Baseball Forum

University of Florida starting lineup

Discussion in 'Smack Board' started by cromagnole, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. cromagnole

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2002
    Messages:
    34,277
    Likes Received:
    0
    QB
    [​IMG]

    Tim Teabag
    Height: 6-foot-3
    Weight: 229 pounds
    Hometown: St. Augustine, FL

    Teabag takes over at quarterback, replacing four-year starter and special ed student Chris Leak. Teabag is a well-rounded quarterback who possesses the speed of a fullback, the arm of a shot-putter and the brains of a squirrel. Timmy is a Leo who enjoys coloring books and long walks on the beach with head coach Urban Meyer.

    RB
    [​IMG]

    Anonymous
    Height: 5-foot-9 or 10
    Weight: about 190 pounds or so
    Hometown: Hawgtown, these days

    Really doesn't matter. Someone will start, then be unceremoniously yanked and replaced by someone equally inept. In the end, Percy Harvin and Teabag will carry the ball 90% of the time.

    WR
    [​IMG]

    Andre Caldwell
    Height: 6-foot-1
    Weight: 200 pounds
    Hometown: Tampa, FL

    Known affectionately to his teammates as "Bubba" ("Just like one o' them redneck boys. Can you believe that?"), he is widely known to fans as "the one that wasn't good enough to jump to the NFL." According to his brother, Reche, "He's no Reche."

    WR
    [​IMG]

    Louis Murphy
    Height: 6-foot-3
    Weight: 190 pounds
    Hometown: St. Petersburg, FL

    Yeah, we've never heard of him either.

    WR
    [​IMG]

    Percy Harvin
    Height: 5-foot-11
    Weight: 178 pounds
    Hometown: Virginia Beach, VA

    The talent. If anything happens to this kid, the Gators couldn't find the endzone with three roadmaps, an advanced GPS system and a full search party. Folks all over hawgtown are pouring into churches in droves, praying for the health of Harvin's bones, muscles and joints. Alachua County State Attorney Cervone has purchased two new document shredders "just in case."

    TE
    [​IMG]

    Cornelius Ingram
    Height: 6-foot-4
    Weight: 225 pounds
    Hometown: Hawthorne, FL

    The former quarterback recruit recently received a note on University of Illinois Athletics Department stationary that read, "Just kidding."

    OL
    [​IMG]

    Jason Watkins
    Height: 6-foot-6
    Weight: 160 pounds
    Hometown: Lakeland, FL

    This is what stands between Teabag and large, angry men looking to visit harm upon him. Let us pray...

    OL
    [​IMG]

    Maurkice Pouncey
    Height: 6-foot-4
    Weight: 311 pounds
    Hometown: Lakeland, FL

    Hey hey hey! "Timmy, I'll protect your back. You have my word. And I think you know how much my word is worth."

    OL
    [​IMG]

    Jim Tart
    Height: 6-foot-3
    Weight: 305 pounds
    Hometown: Sopchoppy, FL

    That hometown: we're not makin' that up. According to head coach Urban Meyer, "I like the way he talks and he likes the way I talk." Tart enjoys biscuits and mustard, mm-hmm.

    OL
    [​IMG]

    Carlton Medder
    Height: 6-foot-5
    Weight: 320 pounds
    Hometown: Clermont, FL

    Medder still can't believe it's not butter.

    OL
    [​IMG]

    Drew Miller
    Height: 6-foot-5
    Weight: 292 pounds
    Hometown: Sarasota, FL

    According to head coach Urban Meyer, "He's large." Once ate a box of chocolates and opined, "That Forrest Gump is full of ----."

    K
    [​IMG]

    Chris Hetland
    Height: 6-foot-0
    Weight: 184 pounds
    Hometown: Leesburg, GA

    No, he's not 13.

    DE
    [​IMG]

    Jermaine Cunningham
    Height: 6-foot-4
    Weight: 212 pounds
    Hometown: Stone Mountain, GA

    Says head coach Urban Meyer of Cunningham, "Who?"

    DE
    [​IMG]

    Derrick Harvey
    Height: 6-foot-4
    Weight: 260 pounds
    Class Year: Jr
    Experience: 2V
    Hometown: Greenbelt, MD

    Never before has any player ever garnered as much hype from one performance than Harvey for his performance in the Fiesta Bowl. Says head coach Urban Meyer, "If I'd known he could play like that, maybe I'd have actually suspended Moss per team policy for failing drug tests."

    DT
    [​IMG]

    Clint McMillan
    Height: 6-foot-1
    Weight: 282 pounds
    Hometown: Oviedo, FL

    Start sucking up to him now. By this time next year, he'll be the man to see for a great deal on a used car.

    DT
    [​IMG]

    Height: 6-foot-1
    Weight: 280 pounds
    Hometown: Miami, FL

    We know what you're thinking: Two defensive tackles at 6'1"? Yeah, we're thinking the same thing. But, hey, 6'1" wasn't a bad height when we were hyping him as the linebacker of the future.

    LB
    [​IMG]

    John Jones
    Height: 6-foot-3
    Weight: 205 pounds
    Hometown: Sarasota, FL

    There's a reason no photo is available.

    LB
    [​IMG]

    Dustin Doe
    Height: 6-foot-2
    Weight: 206 pounds
    Hometown: Jasper, FL

    At least he gets a photo.

    LB
    [​IMG]

    Brandon Spikes
    Height: 6-foot-4
    Weight: 235 pounds
    Hometown: Shelby, NC

    Yeah, you're reading through the linebackers and get as far as Brandon S. and you think they'll be okay, but then you see that it doesn't end with "iler" and, well, it is what it is. That hair really isn't inspiring confidence, either.

    CB
    [​IMG]

    Markihe Anderson
    Height: 5-foot-10
    Weight: 170 pounds
    Hometown: Fort Meyers, FL

    We could have put in a photo of pretty much anyone and you'd never have known the difference.

    CB
    [​IMG]

    Wondy Pierre-Louis
    Height: 6-foot-0
    Weight: 175 pounds
    Hometown: Naples, FL

    He's got it all: the name, the hair...

    S
    [​IMG]

    Tony Joiner
    Height: 5-foot-11
    Weight: 200 pounds
    Hometown: Haines City, FL

    Also known as "the DB you've heard of before."

    S
    [​IMG]

    Kyle Jackson
    Height: 6-foot-0
    Weight: 200 pounds
    Hometown: Neptune Beach, FL

    Narrowly edged out Bubba Caldwell as player voted "Looks Most Like Lon Cheney".
     
  2. DuvalNole1

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2006
    Messages:
    23,262
    Likes Received:
    0
  3. Semi34

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2005
    Messages:
    9,003
    Likes Received:
    0
    Classic!
     
  4. LilNoles2006

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2002
    Messages:
    14,791
    Likes Received:
    0
    Seriously, though... no way that team repeats.
     
  5. busternole

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2004
    Messages:
    12,790
    Likes Received:
    0
  6. JumpShooter

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2002
    Messages:
    2,626
    Likes Received:
    0
    I got a good laugh out of that.
     
  7. busternole

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2004
    Messages:
    12,790
    Likes Received:
    0
    Is that a scrunchie in Harris's hair?
     
  8. ChampioNole

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2002
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think I just pi$$ed my pants from laughing. This one's a classic.
     
  9. ChiefsT99

    ChiefsT99 Freshman
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2003
    Messages:
    9,651
    Likes Received:
    15
    OMG OMG... ROFL...

    I was laughing out loud on that one. That was great. 5 stars!
     
  10. Nolefan23

    Nolefan23 Walk-on
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2002
    Messages:
    14,472
    Likes Received:
    5
    CB


    Markihe Anderson
    Height: 5-foot-10
    Weight: 170 pounds
    Hometown: Fort Meyers, FL

    We could have put in a photo of pretty much anyone and you'd never have known the difference.




    Classic.
     
  11. LizardHunter

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Messages:
    4,524
    Likes Received:
    0
    Any time is a good time to make fun of the gates! Great work cro!
     
  12. archon95

    archon95 Walk-on
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2002
    Messages:
    2,171
    Likes Received:
    7
    Thank you for that
    Posted from wireless.rivals.com[/URL]
     
  13. MyrickNole

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    0
    My Friday morning feels much better now.
     
  14. TheTruth_

    TheTruth_ Freshman
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2002
    Messages:
    11,180
    Likes Received:
    40
    That WR Murphy is preety damn good. We were recruting him hard.
     
  15. c dowlar

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2003
    Messages:
    16,171
    Likes Received:
    0
  16. Shade Tree Nole

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,578
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hope this Roster is more accurate than the WV roster you linked.
     
  17. BushidoNole

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2004
    Messages:
    22,534
    Likes Received:
    0
  18. travnole

    travnole Freshman
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Messages:
    13,628
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    DOAK CAMPBELL BASEMENT
    Cro comes through again.
     
  19. seminolephil

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2005
    Messages:
    12,084
    Likes Received:
    0
    If this doesn't get Tomahawked, I don't know what will

    Great stuff cromag!
     
  20. Tomsjeep88

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2003
    Messages:
    579
    Likes Received:
    0
    Great stuff.
     
  21. impex

    impex Walk-on
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2003
    Messages:
    1,732
    Likes Received:
    3
    You were refering to SEC Champs right, because a NC shouldn't even come up in casual conversation with this line up? Pre-season #6, really!?...wow!
     
  22. CornNolio

    CornNolio Walk-on
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Messages:
    8,488
    Likes Received:
    10
    Damn that was funny. Nice work.
     
  23. jd_panamacity

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Messages:
    9,871
    Likes Received:
    0
    I didn't making it past the first profile before spitting coffee all over the laptop I was working on. That was great!
     
  24. ttownnole

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2004
    Messages:
    17,704
    Likes Received:
    0
    top 1 % of the 1%
     
  25. gottabelievenoles

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    546
    Likes Received:
    0
    Nice work Cro!
     
  26. warriortim

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2006
    Messages:
    6,459
    Likes Received:
    0
    I may be wrong here but we did not recruit Louis Murphy very hard at all if at all!? I coach in Pinellas County and that kid was a waste of a scholly IMHO. He had some "look test" but he was a distraction to his team and went off on coaches and players after we spanked them. I still cannot believe he has the scholly much less is listed as a starter!?
     
  27. aetnole

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2002
    Messages:
    1,022
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for the comic relief.
     
  28. Landis85

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2003
    Messages:
    993
    Likes Received:
    0
    Another classic by Cromag! Thanks man! Now I know the season has started!
     
  29. Wauchula

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Messages:
    11,873
    Likes Received:
    0
    One of the best posts I've seen on this board. Bravo!!!!!
     
  30. tim7noles

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,611
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ugh. Caldwell's eyes are jacked up.
     
  31. NaplesNole88

    NaplesNole88 Starter
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2002
    Messages:
    5,936
    Likes Received:
    67
    Good work Cro. What's up with the hair thing with those "guys"? I guess all of them are just trying to match with their ear rings.

    Cro, could you give us the bios of the croc coaches?
     
  32. pete44

    pete44 Walk-on
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2002
    Messages:
    453
    Likes Received:
    1
    Funny, very funny. Thanks for the laughs.
     
  33. nole0021

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2003
    Messages:
    725
    Likes Received:
    0
    Now that's funny. Awesome job CRO.
     
  34. NastyNole1

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2001
    Messages:
    8,047
    Likes Received:
    0
    Is that a beanie on Brandon Spikes' head?
     
  35. seminole64

    seminole64 Freshman
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2003
    Messages:
    34,156
    Likes Received:
    14
    I'm going to have to pin this thread for a while. Cro makes up some good stuff.
     
    LoveTHUGU likes this.
  36. the8car

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2007
    Messages:
    3,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Funniest thing I have seen since Ms. South Carolina.

    "Start sucking up to him now. By this time next year, he'll be the man to see for a great deal on a used car."

    Priceless.
     
  37. goldmom

    goldmom Freshman
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Messages:
    48,761
    Likes Received:
    46
    Winner and still chammmm-peen. Great stuff.
     
  38. Crowl

    Crowl Moderator
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    24,093
    Likes Received:
    23
    Not kidding. This is brilliant !
     
  39. Popceola

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2002
    Messages:
    2,185
    Likes Received:
    0
    Pure comedic genius! I can't stop laughing.
     
  40. missnlife

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Messages:
    11,000
    Likes Received:
    0
    Chris Hetland(K) graduated. Just saying. The replacement(Ijas) looks as equally 13.

    Since none of this actually has anything to do with any of their talent, I actually thought this was a little funny.
     
  41. cromagnole

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2002
    Messages:
    34,277
    Likes Received:
    0
    You might want to let the folks back at goaterbait know they need to update their depth chart.

    I was being overly generous in regards to their talent.

    Florida depth chart according to goaterbait
     
  42. 78scalp

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,357
    Likes Received:
    0
  43. missnlife

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Messages:
    11,000
    Likes Received:
    0


    That's fine. It would be silly of me to argue talent levels on the offensive side of the ball at this point.

    Like I said, funny stuff anyways.
     
  44. GatorMarc

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2001
    Messages:
    1,045
    Likes Received:
    0
    Good call.
     
  45. JD Gator

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2002
    Messages:
    52,040
    Likes Received:
    0
    [​IMG]

    Here's another good call:

    "Percy Harvin- The talent. If anything happens to this kid, the Gators couldn't find the endzone with three roadmaps, an advanced GPS system and a full search party."

    Yeah- we only scored 5 TDs against FSU that weren't by Percy Harvin.
     
  46. rebeldawg58

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2005
    Messages:
    2,953
    Likes Received:
    0
    Louis Murphy
    Height: 6-foot-3
    Weight: 190 pounds
    Hometown: St. Petersburg, FL

    Yeah, we've never heard of him either.

    Have you heard of him him now? 12 points scored by Louis Murphy against that vaunted and Ahem..."UNCONQUERED" defense.

    That was actually pretty funny for most of them. You are a funny guy, and I do mean funny haha, not funny queer. I hope you have all of the different ones you've done, I would love to see them on the NB sometime. Good luck in your bowl game guys, Kentucky isn't a gimme anymore. Who would have thought that?
     
  47. Gator FA

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,974
    Likes Received:
    0
    The amazing part is a dumb gate talking about humility when gates don't even know the meaning of the word.

    This post was edited on 2/23 6:22 PM by seminole64
     
  48. KoolAid Man

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2007
    Messages:
    5,334
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would be the first Nole to post in this thread since Sepetember, it's truly amazing how frickin slow the collective gate fanbase is, try a little reading comprehension next time.
     
  49. missnlife

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Messages:
    11,000
    Likes Received:
    0
    They have a coach who coaches.

    Say Noles, who's that Kickers' Coach you have out there? He sure is a good one.
     
  50. noleit

    noleit Freshman
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Messages:
    14,032
    Likes Received:
    37
    Meyer only coaches the special teams, and then barely at that. No offense, no defense so STFU as you sound like you don't know shit about football.

    BTW - I too can pay $15.00 for a pastors license(link below).

    pastor for $14.95
     
    LoveTHUGU likes this.

Share This Page