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My Last 3 Weeks Have Sucked...

Random_John

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Mar 13, 2007
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On the 18th my boss brings me into the office and lets me know I am being laid off due to budget cuts. I had been working there only 10 weeks!

On the 23rd my wife tells me she wants a divorce.

I have spent all of my time applying for jobs, networking and making phone calls trying to get myself some interviews, and moving my stuff out of the house. I did get my dog!

I am not worried about me and what happens. The only person in the equation I worry about is our 6 year old son. I want this to be as easy on him as possible. I do not plan to make this messy, mean, or contentious. I believe our divorce will be as quick and as painless as a divorce can be. We both agree that our son is priority over everything.
 
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I’m so sorry for so many difficult trials all at once. You must be overwhelmed. Better days are ahead. One of my favorite quotes is this “Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Trust God and believe in good things to come.” -Jeffrey R Holland
 
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I’m so sorry for so many difficult trials all at once. You must be overwhelmed. Better days are ahead. One of my favorite quotes is this “Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Trust God and believe in good things to come.” -Jeffrey R Holland


Thank you.I'm staying super busy right now. Being busy is keeping my mind off things. It will get better I know. I'm hanging in there.
 
Looking back on my life, I am a firm believer of things work out for the best. Don’t be surprised if in a mere few years from now, you will be with a woman who makes you happier and working for a better company and with more pay.

I got laid of the first week of 2013 when they closed our Tallahassee office. Had about two weeks notice as it was a strange choice for our company to make. It was not at all good for the old ego and it felt shameful to share with friends and family. The truth was though, I was working for a company that was circling the drain since 2007 and should have got out long before. Turns out I was really underpaid because of this. Found a new job within 60 days and three years later after a promotion and than a Performance bump and then being grabbed by another company, I was making literally twice the income, all in. Knowing I would have stupidly stayed at other place, they letting me go helped me get three years (and counting) extra pay at this point.

So look at this as an opportunity.
 
Looking back on my life, I am a firm believer of things work out for the best. Don’t be surprised if in a mere few years from now, you will be with a woman who makes you happier and working for a better company and with more pay.

I got laid of the first week of 2013 when they closed our Tallahassee office. Had about two weeks notice as it was a strange choice for our company to make. It was not at all good for the old ego and it felt shameful to share with friends and family. The truth was though, I was working for a company that was circling the drain since 2007 and should have got out long before. Turns out I was really underpaid because of this. Found a new job within 60 days and three years later after a promotion and than a Performance bump and then being grabbed by another company, I was making literally twice the income, all in. Knowing I would have stupidly stayed at other place, they letting me go helped me get three years (and counting) extra pay at this point.

So look at this as an opportunity.


Absolutely. I'm taking this time to reinvent myself and actually do all of things I have always wanted to do. The jobs and relationships will come. Right now is all about trying to have some fun.
 
What sort of work do you do?
Skill set? Relocation a possibility?

I have been a manager at big box retail, a call center manager for a high-volume call center, I have managed college students at FSU, and the last three years I have been a technical recruiter putting people in IT to work.

I cannot relocate right now.
 
Did you get a Dear_Random_John letter?

By the time you read these lines, I'll be gone, so long.


Good luck RJ. Hopefully the divorce wasn't a terrible shock that you had no clue about. I was way more miserable with my ex than without. Better to move on and be happy for the kid than miserable as a group.
 
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That is an awful 2 weeks. For your son, be sure you never say anything negative about his mom in front of him. After 5 years my daughter finally realized who the "bad guy" was in my divorce and she always thanked me for not bashing her dad. He was good enough for me to choose him as her dad at one point, and without him she wouldn't be here.

Good luck and fasten your seat belt!
 
By the time you read these lines, I'll be gone, so long.


Good luck RJ. Hopefully the divorce wasn't a terrible shock that you had no clue about. I was way more miserable with my ex than without. Better to move on and be happy for the kid than miserable as a group.

I believe that's how I will feel in the long run. For now my emotions are extremely raw and I am staying busy.
 
That is an awful 2 weeks. For your son, be sure you never say anything negative about his mom in front of him. After 5 years my daughter finally realized who the "bad guy" was in my divorce and she always thanked me for not bashing her dad. He was good enough for me to choose him as her dad at one point, and without him she wouldn't be here.

Good luck and fasten your seat belt!


She's his mom and always will be. I'm not going to say bad things about her. I want him growing up knowing he's loved and to appreciate Respect.
 
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Why does your wife want a divorce? Was this a surprise to you? Or were you kind of expecting it?
If you rather not get into it that's fine. No worries....

Good luck
 
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Why does your wife want a divorce? Was this a surprise to you? Or were you kind of expecting it?
If you rather not get into it that's fine. No worries....

Good luck

I wasn't completely caught off guard. I knew things weren't good for some time. There's a lot to unpack as to reasons why but I won't bore everyone with long details.

Things that influenced our lives have been a sick kid, lawsuits, career changes, assault from a boss...
 
I wasn't completely caught off guard. I knew things weren't good for some time. There's a lot to unpack as to reasons why but I won't bore everyone with long details.

Things that influenced our lives have been a sick kid, lawsuits, career changes, assault from a boss...
It sounds like you're overdue for some better times ahead.
 
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I wasn't completely caught off guard. I knew things weren't good for some time. There's a lot to unpack as to reasons why but I won't bore everyone with long details.

Things that influenced our lives have been a sick kid, lawsuits, career changes, assault from a boss...
You will have to expound on these.

Hang in there. You need to seek out the positives every moment.
 
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That is an awful 2 weeks. For your son, be sure you never say anything negative about his mom in front of him. After 5 years my daughter finally realized who the "bad guy" was in my divorce and she always thanked me for not bashing her dad. He was good enough for me to choose him as her dad at one point, and without him she wouldn't be here.

Good luck and fasten your seat belt!
This.
 
I hope you and her can keep it civil all the way to the end if that is what happens. Ive seen too many times couples think they want the same thing in a divorce but then it takes a turn and gets ugly. Even though you might get divorced your lives are intertwined forever with your son. The more civil you can be in the divorce the better the rest of your lives will be. I think for a lot of folks its like moving.

None of us can actually make things better but at least you know you have a group of folks that are rooting for you and here as a sounding board for advice, encouragement, good natured ribbing, maybe a round or two at the bar for games and support. Try to focus on the long term knowing you will be in a better place before you know it.
 
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I thought trains went together with crab meat.

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