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So... where does a 30 something guy meet women?

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rymoreau

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Jan 14, 2003
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So these threads on divorce got me thinking the other day. Got divorced this year. I'm in my thirties and after 8 years of marriage the game has most definitely changed. All I have experience with in dating was back when I was in college and meeting women was as easy as asking for their notes. Been on a couple of dates lately but it seems (and I feared it was going to be this way) that the women in my age range either 1) Are damaged goods, with possibly up to 3 divorces under their belts already 2) never been married and their biological clock is ticking and they want children ASAP. ( I got two already and I'm in no rush for more).

Things are much more complicated at this age.

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If you are in your 30s and are just looking for fun, you should be targeting 21-24 year olds. if you are latino, 18-22.
 
tommynole3476 said:
So you're a guy who is already dating after being divorced 6 months or less and has two kids while lamenting about women he's meeting being damaged?

I don't remember seeing you post here much before, but I like your style, you're going to fit right in.
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I missed the Tinder era, but if I got divorced, I would start there.
 
"Things are much more complicated at this age."

I found it way easier. When I was in college, I was pretty awkward socially. I dated but probably met a lot of the nerd stereotypes. In this context, I hooked up with my now ex wife. This is all about environments and contexts. I got divorced at 31. At the time, I was a postdoc in a medical school in Chicago and I was in an original rock band, actively playing gigs all over the city. Getting dates was . . . exceptionally easy. I.e., Divorce? Don't mind if I do. I was also way more confident in the general scheme of the world.Late bloomer I suppose. Kinda felt like I was Neo in the Matrix. The trick: I was in high exposure environments to attractive, single educated women and high exposure environments for attractive women who liked to party. Great combination.

Exercise, be confident. I was in it for fun ... and it was fun.

Mostly dated younger women. 24-28 range at that time.
 
You should move into a nursing home. In most, the male/female ratio is decidedly favorable for the guys, so it's like shooting fish in a barrel - and the chicks' biological clocks stopped ticking decades ago. Added bonus, if you play your cards properly, you might be able to sneak yourself into multiple wills that will pay off in the near future.
 
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LT4PLY said:
farmersonly.com?
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I like one of their earlier commercials, where the late 40's, maybe early 50's dudes are sitting around talking. One guy says something like, "Gotta go. I have a date!" And it's a picture of a 20 yr old girl. Real creepy.
 
What's 30 something? Late 30s are quite a bit different than early. I'm 31 and still have a good group of single friends to go out with. If you're late 30s without many single friends online is probably the way to go, but yeah most chicks 35+ are either divorced, insanely flighty commitment phobes, or desperate to get married and have kids.
 
Tinder is a good way to meet and date chicks. But going on a bunch of first dates suuuuucks. I meet a lot of girls just sitting at a bar for a few hours.
 
2noles1cup said:
Tinder is a good way to meet and date chicks. But going on a bunch of first dates suuuuucks. I meet a lot of girls just sitting at a bar for a few hours.
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Thats what I figure. Go sit at the bar with a group and let it happen.
 
Sucks it isn't the football season. I bet tailgates would be a great place to meet people.
 
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Next go around she has to be a Nole fan. Its really annoying being in a relationship with someone that has no clue about being a real fan. Ex was a fair weather Ohio State fan. She wore all the gear when they were doing good. Ask her to sing you the fight song or their cheer and she had no clue. WTF was I thinking?
 
Go to a Habitat For Humanity house building near Tallahassee. You'll meet a lot of FSU women and you'll most likely be helping out a gatah grad as well!
 
Same boat as OP, sans kids but its way harder in 30's if you dont want to use tinder/match/farmer only....

Actually speaking to women old school its a lot harder but my preference.

Hardest part is rings, women married dont wear them like they used to, at least in new england, so no ring doesnt mean crap up here.

For me the tough part is the two types i meet. 20-25, way too immature and not into 30's guys, or 40+ divorcees, not as much in between.

Oh and locations; bars good and each style bar has diff demo, gym, grocery store is like tinder on weekends
 
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rymoreau said:
So these threads on divorce got me thinking the other day. Got divorced this year. I'm in my thirties and after 8 years of marriage the game has most definitely changed. All I have experience with in dating was back when I was in college and meeting women was as easy as asking for their notes. Been on a couple of dates lately but it seems (and I feared it was going to be this way) that the women in my age range either 1) Are damaged goods, with possibly up to 3 divorces under their belts already 2) never been married and their biological clock is ticking and they want children ASAP. ( I got two already and I'm in no rush for more).

Things are much more complicated at this age.

tumblr_mju5sef7XI1qg4blro2_500.gif
Click to expand...
I am happily married, but if I was single, I would hit a popular workout gym. You get the benefit of getting in shape and meeting women.
 
Why are we all so eager to jump into committed relationships? I'm 41 and married for 6 years now (with a child), but if I got divorced at some point, I'd have little desire for another committed relationship. Without kids, I don't see the point. I simply do not value female non-physical companionship enough to overcome the headaches and sacrifices of co-existing with them in close quarters.
 
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amicusnole said:
Why are we all so eager to jump into committed relationships? I'm 41 and married for 6 years now (with a child), but if I got divorced at some point, I'd have little desire for another committed relationship. Without kids, I don't see the point. I simply do not value female non-physical companionship enough to overcome the headaches and sacrifices of co-existing with them in close quarters.
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Simple answer to that is I like women. I'm not putting any type of label on a relationship with a woman. I hang with my bros, but at some point you want the attention of a woman.
 
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amicusnole said:
Why are we all so eager to jump into committed relationships? I'm 41 and married for 6 years now (with a child), but if I got divorced at some point, I'd have little desire for another committed relationship. Without kids, I don't see the point. I simply do not value female non-physical companionship enough to overcome the headaches and sacrifices of co-existing with them in close quarters.
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You guys who are divorced are like the 2 prison escapees in New York: you just need to run like hell. Don't go back towards the prison. If you need some strange, get it and keep running. A second divorce will cost even more than the first one. Don't even risk it.
 
Divorce Care class at the local church - perfect timing. A lot of 30 somethings and they just want someone to be nice to them, plus they're emotional wrecks - fish in a barrel. Guy that taught one at the local mega-Baptist church was cleaning up till he got caught.
 
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Are people still using the Game book? I had a friend that swore by it, to the point that he would tell his girlfriend right in front of everybody that he used it to get her... and she still liked him.
 
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