Disciplining Children

[12Nole]

Do you believe disciplining a child is the appropriate action to correct a pattern of misbehavior?

What is the appropriate age to discipline a child?

What do you believe are the correct methods to discipline a child? Spanking, Time-Out, Verbal scolding?

 

[GeddyLee09]

It depends. Discipline is a broad term but yes I believe it is a necessary tool to use when required. The type used depends on the situation and the child. Everyone is different and reacts to things differently. When I was young everything was treated with an ass whipping in some form or fashion. With my kids I used discipline but with more precision. Different tools for different situations. My kids are all successful and there was only one ass whooping. To this day I can handle my grown kids with a few words. Now mom is a different story but I didn't get into that.

 

[12Nole]

It depends. Discipline is a broad term but yes I believe it is a necessary tool to use when required. The type used depends on the situation and the child. Everyone is different and reacts to things differently. When I was young everything was treated with an ass whipping in some form or fashion. With my kids I used discipline but with more precision. Different tools for different situations. My kids are all successful and there was only one ass whooping. To this day I can handle my grown kids with a few words. Now mom is a different story but I didn't get into that.

What age did you start your discipline approach?

 

[GeddyLee09]

What age did you start your discipline approach?

As soon as they could start acting up. Handle it early or they think its normal behavior.

 

[West Duval Nole]

As soon as they could start acting up. Handle it early or they think its normal behavior.

And be consistent.

 

[QuaZ2002]

Are there people out there who would say you shouldn’t discipline children in any way? I’d like to say that would be shocking but nowadays I’d believe it.

 

[West Duval Nole]

Are there people out there who would say you shouldn’t discipline children in any way? I’d like to say that would be shocking but nowadays I’d believe it.

Probably not, but there are plenty of parents that don't actually discipline there kids.

 

[GeddyLee09]

Are there people out there who would say you shouldn’t discipline children in any way? I’d like to say that would be shocking but nowadays I’d believe it.

Im sure they are out there.

 

[ChiefWB]

I don’t hit my 7 year old but he hears it when he decides to act the fool. Fortunately at this point in his life he is a big pleaser. He wants to make everyone happy. But there have been times where discipline has been necessary and there have been plenty of avenues to reach that goal without physical action. Recently I have been volunteering at his school and the kids that lack discipline stick out like a sore thumb. I feel for the teachers.

 

[FisherWilcoxTaggart Survivor]

I don’t hit my 7 year old but he hears it when he decides to act the fool. Fortunately at this point in his life he is a big pleaser. He wants to make everyone happy. But there have been times where discipline has been necessary and there have been plenty of avenues to reach that goal without physical action. Recently I have been volunteering at his school and the kids that lack discipline stick out like a sore thumb. I feel for the teachers.

Never hit any of our 3 kids. But I suspect there were lots of times when they would have greatly preferred that over our alternatives. We ran a pretty tight ship — especially Momma — and they all knew that manners and respect for others were mandatory.

Seeing kids with no structure or guidance at home is sad. Many of our public school teachers are being given impossible assignments. The life lessons need to start at home, and be reinforced there.

 

[BrianNole777]

Are there people out there who would say you shouldn’t discipline children in any way? I’d like to say that would be shocking but nowadays I’d believe it.

I have an Aunt (no pics) and Uncle who adopted a son from Michigan when they were 45 years old and he was an infant about 15 years ago. I don't think he got ANY discipline growing up. My Aunt once wrote advice on Facebook to parents to "just let your children develop into who they are."

I used to babysit him when he was 8 and he would eat dinner and leave his plate on the floor. Getting him to pick his plate off the floor was like pulling teeth. I had to ask him 5 times. He would lie, too, often about stuff. He definitely had a temper.

He's now 16. Two years ago, he was posting stuff on Instagram that my Mom (no pics) didn't like. She sent him a message saying he shouldn't post that and he went bananas and sent her cursing and threatening messages.

Yikes.

My Mom told his parents and they completely sided with the kid.

What kind of kid sends his nice old Aunt cursing and threatening messages on social media because she didnt like his weird posts?!

He now refuses to come to family events and his Mother rarely shows up, too.

 

[BrianNole777]

Never hit any of our 3 kids. But I suspect there were lots of times when they would have greatly preferred that over our alternatives. We ran a pretty tight ship — especially Momma — and they all knew that manners and respect for others were mandatory.

Seeing kids with no structure or guidance at home is sad. Many of our public school teachers are being given impossible assignments. The life lessons need to start at home, and be reinforced there.

How did you discipline your kids?

 

[sanjosenole]

Set them up with an NIL. Seems to be the trend with children these days.

 

[FisherWilcoxTaggart Survivor]

How did you discipline your kids?

Lots of techniques:

1. Toy, television, video, phone, party or vehicle suspension or revocation (age appropriate)
2. Formal in-person or written apologies to whomever was owed one
3. Military-like “lectures”
4. Timeouts as kids
5. Manual labor tasks

 

[FisherWilcoxTaggart Survivor]

I have an Aunt (no pics) and Uncle who adopted a son from Michigan when they were 45 years old and he was an infant about 15 years ago. I don't think he got ANY discipline growing up. My Aunt once wrote advice on Facebook to parents to "just let your children develop into who they are."

I used to babysit him when he was 8 and he would eat dinner and leave his plate on the floor. Getting him to pick his plate off the floor was like pulling teeth. I had to ask him 5 times. He would lie, too, often about stuff. He definitely had a temper.

He's now 16. Two years ago, he was posting stuff on Instagram that my Mom (no pics) didn't like. She sent him a message saying he shouldn't post that and he went bananas and sent her cursing and threatening messages.

Yikes.

My Mom told his parents and they completely sided with the kid.

What kind of kid sends his nice old Aunt cursing and threatening messages on social media because she didnt like his weird posts?!

He now refuses to come to family events and his Mother rarely shows up, too.

Loud voices help. Cops are taught to SCREAM at suspects. Dominance and intimidation can be verbal. That’s not accidental. Seems like this kid needed and still needs (at least) “that” early and often. Hope it turns out OK. Good luck to the family.

 

[ChiefWB]

This thread has made me think back to how I was “disciplined” in the 1970’s and 80’s. I was grounded constantly. The belt and wooden spoon made the occasional appearance and I had a bar of soap in my mouth on a regular basis. At school we were paddled but that was not frequent. All these years later I am grateful for the structure and accountability these actions encouraged. I know I had to answer to my parents, coaches and teachers. Probably wouldn’t change a thing if I could.

 

[DFSNOLE]

Are there people out there who would say you shouldn’t discipline children in any way? I’d like to say that would be shocking but nowadays I’d believe it.

Worse are people who have never had children but are experts on how you should discipline yours.

 

[F4Gary]

This thread has made me think back to how I was “disciplined” in the 1970’s and 80’s. I was grounded constantly. The belt and wooden spoon made the occasional appearance and I had a bar of soap in my mouth on a regular basis. At school we were paddled but that was not frequent. All these years later I am grateful for the structure and accountability these actions encouraged. I know I had to answer to my parents, coaches and teachers. Probably wouldn’t change a thing if I could.

Brian, why were you shocked with this post? Seems pretty normal to me.

 

[BrianNole777]

Brian, why were you shocked with this post? Seems pretty normal to me.

These days, getting paddled in school is a lawsuit.

Soap in the mouth ain't accepted either.

 

[F4Gary]

These days, getting paddled in school is a lawsuit.

Soap in the mouth ain't accepted either.

He said 70's and 80's. Schools have gotten soft.

 

[ChiefWB]

These days, getting paddled in school is a lawsuit.

Soap in the mouth ain't accepted either.

No one outside our home would have never known. Besides discipline and accountability there was great love and affection as well. We didn't go to school battered or with soap stuck in our teeth.
Schools today have completely neutered teachers and staff to the point of being victims in their own classrooms (as witnessed in another thread on this board). A little fear and humility is a great motivator imo.

 

[DFSNOLE]

These days, getting paddled in school is a lawsuit.

Soap in the mouth ain't accepted either.

How many children do you have?

 

[BrianNole777]

How many children do you have?

0.

What does that have to do with public schools no longer allowing paddling?

 

[DFSNOLE]

0.

What does that have to do with public schools no longer allowing paddling?

We signed papers each year to allow corporal punishment for our kids if it was deemed necessary. No lawsuits.

You didn't have something similar for your kids? Oh, that's right.

 

[BrianNole777]

He said 70's and 80's. Schools have gotten soft.

Yes.

Times have changed.

 

[BrianNole777]

We signed papers each year to allow corporal punishment for our kids if it was deemed necessary. No lawsuits.

You didn't have something similar for your kids? Oh, that's right.

What year was that?

I posted that paddling wasn't allowed these days in public schools.

 

[DFSNOLE]

What year was that?

I posted that paddling wasn't allowed these days in public schools.

The 2000s but that letter is still available for my grandsons today. Again, not there for your kids?

 

[BrianNole777]

The 2000s but that letter is still available for my grandsons today. Again, not there for your kids?

Public schools still allow paddling in 2023?!

I don't have kids thankfully. They'll never get paddled.

 

[DFSNOLE]

Public schools still allow paddling in 2023?!

I don't have kids thankfully. They'll never get paddled.

Believe me, we're all thankful you don't have children.

 

[BrianNole777]

Believe me, we're all thankful you don't have children.

My bank account is thankful, too.

Although, I have been told by almost everyone I know that I'd be a great Father.

But, I have no desire to bring children into this deeply troubled world.

You didn't answer my question, though...public schools still paddle students in 2023?!

It must be a red state thing.

You'd Think We Would Stop Paddling Kids in School but You'd Be Wrong

The state has our hands tied. Kids are disrespectful and defiant. There’s absolutely nothing we can do to punish them that bothers them except spank them.

www.edpost.com

 

[littleitch1]

I got paddled from 2 nd grade thru high school

But I knew when I screwed around, skipped school etc that I would get spanked

Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time sort of thing

We had a black principal in high school who would bust that butt

Black kids would always take suspension over letting a black man spank them

In elementary school the same principal that spanked my dad spanked me!

But what I got at home was far worse

But, I deserved every bit of it

Being accountable for your actions seems like a damn good thing to me!

Oh, I never spanked my children, never had too
I made sure they understood what they did was wrong, then I spanked their mom!!!!

 

[BrianNole777]

No one outside our home would have never known. Besides discipline and accountability there was great love and affection as well. We didn't go to school battered or with soap stuck in our teeth.
Schools today have completely neutered teachers and staff to the point of being victims in their own classrooms (as witnessed in another thread on this board). A little fear and humility is a great motivator imo.

Glad you didn't have problems with it.

 

[goldmom]

My kids are grownups and neither has a criminal record. High school was interesting and there was a lot of yelling and grounding though.

Son never got spanked but he did get disciplined. His pager got smashed with a hammer when he was a junior. The fact he had a Pager should tell you how old he is.

Daughter got one spanking - in 4th grade - four smacks on her bottom with a hairbrush for screaming at me that she hated me.
She was waaay wilder than my son and I should have beaten her every day. 😂🤬
(She agrees with me 🤯)
I don’t think anyone should “beat” their kids. Rules and expectations and consequences don’t have to include physical violence.

My Mom would give us “the look” - especially in church - it’s a Southern thing.
We’d straighten up quick or we got sent out to pick a switch. And she used it. The 50’s were different.

 

[DFSNOLE]

My bank account is thankful, too.

Although, I have been told by almost everyone I know that I'd be a great Father.

But, I have no desire to bring children into this deeply troubled world.

You didn't answer my question, though...public schools still paddle students in 2023?!

It must be a red state thing.

You'd Think We Would Stop Paddling Kids in School but You'd Be Wrong

The state has our hands tied. Kids are disrespectful and defiant. There’s absolutely nothing we can do to punish them that bothers them except spank them.

www.edpost.com

You don't see the answer in this post?

The 2000s but that letter is still available for my grandsons today. Again, not there for your kids?

 

[littleitch1]

I heard DG’s could get pretty wild back in the day!

Just sayin!

 

[QuaZ2002]

The 2000s but that letter is still available for my grandsons today. Again, not there for your kids?

Damn dude, having a bad day? So only people who have kids are allowed to have any opinion on how they’re raised in general. Got it.

 

[fsufool]

Do you believe disciplining a child is the appropriate action to correct a pattern of misbehavior?

What is the appropriate age to discipline a child?

What do you believe are the correct methods to discipline a child? Spanking, Time-Out, Verbal scolding?

I do find it amusing that people think they can control another sentient being. The allusion of control in parents comes from actually having to do everything for the helpless baby to maintain life. Parents then get confused when that helpless baby develops will and starts to take control of their lives.

Violence only begets more violence. So we never beat our child. Timeouts when young. Lectures when older. Threats to take away stuff if misbehavior continues (not sure this really made sense). But, ultimately it is all an allusion of parental control. The child will do as it wants to depending on personality. We got lucky with our child. Not much trouble. He is earnest. Has a good sense of responsibility. Work ethic. Like all, there are times his decisions dumbfound us. But, it is his life. While I would like to think it was because we had all the answers, the truth is we got lucky.

 

[GeddyLee09]

I do find it amusing that people think they can control another sentient being. The allusion of control in parents comes from actually having to do everything for the helpless baby to maintain life. Parents then get confused when that helpless baby develops will and starts to take control of their lives.

Violence only begets more violence. So we never beat our child. Timeouts when young. Lectures when older. Threats to take away stuff if misbehavior continues (not sure this really made sense). But, ultimately it is all an allusion of parental control. The child will do as it wants to depending on personality. We got lucky with our child. Not much trouble. He is earnest. Has a good sense of responsibility. Work ethic. Like all, there are times his decisions dumbfound us. But, it is his life. While I would like to think it was because we had all the answers, the truth is we got lucky.

Luck does have a lot to do with it and your correct in that they are independent beings. Once a child becomes self aware as I call it its out f your hands and there's nothing you can do but guide and pick up pieces. Yours turning out the way they did is a testament to your efforts. They don't learn good values from TV its from you the parents and other adult role models.

My kids all turned out well with little discipline other than mom yelling at them. I didn't do that and let them succeed and fall on their own. I didn't take stuff away or give things as rewards. That never works. One time I did go upside my oldest head for calling his mom something bad. It wasn't the word it was the disrespect. My point was if you did this to someone's wife on the street you would get the same.

 

[QuaZ2002]

I do find it amusing that people think they can control another sentient being. The allusion of control in parents comes from actually having to do everything for the helpless baby to maintain life. Parents then get confused when that helpless baby develops will and starts to take control of their lives.

Violence only begets more violence. So we never beat our child. Timeouts when young. Lectures when older. Threats to take away stuff if misbehavior continues (not sure this really made sense). But, ultimately it is all an allusion of parental control. The child will do as it wants to depending on personality. We got lucky with our child. Not much trouble. He is earnest. Has a good sense of responsibility. Work ethic. Like all, there are times his decisions dumbfound us. But, it is his life. While I would like to think it was because we had all the answers, the truth is we got lucky.

So there’s no nurture in the equation? It’s just a roll of the dice for how kids turn out?

 

[DFSNOLE]

Damn dude, having a bad day? So only people who have kids are allowed to have any opinion on how they’re raised in general. Got it.

I'm not a fan of definitive statements from someone who has no practical experience.