Do school-age kids still get in fights?

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

The last fight I was in was in junior high, but before that had a couple in school brawls and quite a few in the neighborhood.

Fast forward 30 years and my kids' school is K-8 and I don't know if they've ever had a fight as long as my kids have been there. Same for our neighborhood. I know they don't all get along all the time but for some reason it never ends up in blows. Curious if that's the same elsewhere.

 

[DMoriarty]

My daughter just started High School so I don't know much about that yet. In middle school she said there were more girl fist fights than boy fights.

 

[seminole97]

The last fight I was in was in junior high, but before that had a couple in school brawls and quite a few in the neighborhood.

Fast forward 30 years and my kids' school is K-8 and I don't know if they've ever had a fight as long as my kids have been there. Same for our neighborhood. I know they don't all get along all the time but for some reason it never ends up in blows. Curious if that's the same elsewhere.

I suspect violence in schools (and neighborhoods) is not evenly distributed among all populations.

 

[BlizzardNole]

My kids are starting 12th and 10th grade and they have never seen a fight at school.

I saw several in HS in the mid 80s, including one in the cafeteria between two identical twin boys not kidding LOL.

 

[GwinnettNole]

Nah, I think kids just shoot each other, amiright?

 

[OrlandNole]

In the past, school fights meant a trip to the principal's office, a stern talking to and maybe an afternoon suspension. Today (at least at my kids' school) a fight will get you one month in alternative school.

 

[Urban Cryer]

It's more online fighting, we've gotten really soft as a culture, that's for damn sure!

 

[billanole]

The fights at school were not what I feared growing up. My brothers were mean as hell and we had knock down drag outs routinely...

 

[GoNolesTX]

Sure they do, but it consists of name calling that can only be deciphered via Urban Dictionary and it's only on the book of faces, snappy chats or exchange-o-gram.

Rare cases, the name calling could lead to drunken dad brawls at community pools or some such though, which is entertaining.

 

[HilltopperNole]

Had to break up a fight last week in the PE locker room. One dude kept picking on another dude and ended up with a blackeye and bloody nose.

In my 6 years of teaching I think I've seen about 3 fights total. Like someone mentioned, kids know it might be a ticket to alt school. Nowadays they rather snap chat story how the other kid is a so and so.

 

[seminoleed]

We get at least one a week at the school where I teach. Broke up on today between 2 6th grade girls that I wish I could have let continue. It would've been quality.

It goes on all the time, but in my county they won't discipline it because it alters their statistics and costs them money. Seriously. Public education has become "how do we look to our parents" instead of "what are the kids learning". It's a sad trend.

 

[12Nole]

I was the white Don King of my High School.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

it's only on the book of faces, snappy chats or exchange-o-gram.

Oh yeeeuuuuccch.

I hope you get some terrible computer virus.

 

[NDallasRuss]

The daughter is starting 9th grade and she's never seen a fight. She also says she hasn't seen bullying at school. We're in a pretty small town where the kids have mostly grown up together, so it might not be representative of other schools.

 

[JohnnieHolmesNole]

We get at least one a week at the school where I teach. Broke up on today between 2 6th grade girls that I wish I could have let continue. It would've been quality.

It goes on all the time, but in my county they won't discipline it because it alters their statistics and costs them money. Seriously. Public education has become "how do we look to our parents" instead of "what are the kids learning". It's a sad trend.

Chick vs. chick is always good stuff. And yes, today's public schools are way more interested in "perception" -- rankings, reviews, etc. -- than actually making sure kids learn. But, of course, Fortune 500 companies often do the same thing.....cooking the books for quarterly reports instead of ensuring the long-term best interests of the organizations.

 

[Phyrst1]

We get them in Valdosta starting in elementary school. I agree, my kids say there are more girl fights than boy fights.

 

[seminole97]

The daughter is starting 9th grade and she's never seen a fight. She also says she hasn't seen bullying at school. We're in a pretty small town where the kids have mostly grown up together, so it might not be representative of other schools.

Psssst.. do you know how I know your daughter's a bully...?

 

[FSU4FUN]

No they ruin each other's lives online until one of them kills them selves.

 

[kc78]

bullying still exists, it's just as other's have indicated handled in other means. I think parents teach their kids that violence is wrong a bit more than when I was a kid and it was, "Son if someone messes with you, bloody his nose". But it's also a lot easier and safer to harm someone online (And just as dangerous if not more since it follows you home and away from school). Schools have done a good job of trying to change the culture in the school that allowed bullying to take place openly there, and I commend them for it. But it's simply moved somewhere else where it's harder to fight.

 

[RangerNole]

bullying still exists, it's just as other's have indicated handled in other means. I think parents teach their kids that violence is wrong a bit more than when I was a kid and it was, "Son if someone messes with you, bloody his nose". But it's also a lot easier and safer to harm someone online (And just as dangerous if not more since it follows you home and away from school). Schools have done a good job of trying to change the culture in the school that allowed bullying to take place openly there, and I commend them for it. But it's simply moved somewhere else where it's harder to fight.

In my HS there were several shoving matches a day and I would say a couple of fights a week that ranged from a single punch thrown to a pretty good contest that required teachers to get involved. Heck they shut down our school for couple days twice due to riots in the city. Nowadays so many schools have a no tolerance policy for even touching another kid and the punishment is pretty harsh. I also agree that so many of today's kids use on-line stuff to harass or bully another kid. IMO it is much worse than your run of the mill hallway fight because the kids have no way of standing up for themselves and whatever is posted, whatever is said or rumored becomes fact and honestly there is little a school can do about it. Just this year we had a mom (40 plus) bully my daughter on line going as far as calling her a b***** and loser. At least with a fight 2 people throw a few punches and one person realizes they should likely change their opinion or be a little more respectful.

 

[Nole Lou]

My older daughter saw one fight between students at a football game when she was in high school. Only one that any of my three have seen.

Bullying still exists, but it's much different (online) and way down from what it was.

Overall, for all the things wrong with schools, they've really done a good job breaking down the culture of bullying and fighting. We're lucky my kids' public schools are probably not the typical so would have less than the norm, but even so, 30 years ago bullying was extensive and tacitly accepted at any school no matter how "good" it was, and fights were common if not daily as well.

They maybe haven't adjusted as quickly to the social media bullying as they could have, but in terms of traditional bullying, it's hard to argue that the schools haven't made astounding progress. It's one thing they've done quite well, when you consider it's a total culture change. When I was a kid, bullying was basically treated like a fact of life for the bullied kids to deal with.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Going to ask a possibly provocative question - is there a downside to not getting into any fights growing up?

I remember learning from the couple times I got beat up that I needed to watch out for myself a little better and not to run my mouth, but also remember feeling exhilarated the times I came out on top in my own defense or sticking up for my brother or friends. It was kind of a rite of passage for us all.

Then with maturity you realize you can better take care of yourself and problems without violence.

On balance I believe it's better now but wondering what folks think.

 

[kc78]

I think it's helpful for a bully to get his or her ass kicked a few times, I'm not certain there's any benefit for the people he or she is abusing. If there are, the negatives far outweight any positives.

 

[Nole Lou]

Going to ask a possibly provocative question - is there a downside to not getting into any fights growing up?

I remember learning from the couple times I got beat up that I needed to watch out for myself a little better and not to run my mouth, but also remember feeling exhilarated the times I came out on top in my own defense or sticking up for my brother or friends. It was kind of a rite of passage for us all.

Then with maturity you realize you can better take care of yourself and problems without violence.

On balance I believe it's better now but wondering what folks think.

Fights are different from bullying to me. Bullies are scum...I've got zero tolerance for bullies, and I was closer to a bully than bullied growing up. There are very few things my kids could have done in school that would make me as angry as them bullying someone.

Fights...no, I don't think there is any downside to not being in a fight. If you go through life never being in a position where you have to fight...that's fine. That said, I do think there are times when fighting might be in order, if you're being bullied or in self defense, so I'm not zero tolerance about that.

But if you have to fight often as an adult...you're probably doing it wrong. So missing out on fights in your youth should not be a loss. Plenty of other ways to test your mettle.

 

[Random_John]

I grew up in the sticks and we had a few good fights a year. Once a kid even pulled a knife. As I remember, that kid got suspended for a week. Now days, he'd probably still be in jail. I think kids are taught to fear the reprecussions of a fight vs. the respect of another human being.

 

[funksouljon]

I have a feeling it might be the district most of your kids attend as to why some have never seen a fight.

 

[NDallasRuss]

I have a feeling it might be the district most of your kids attend as to why some have never seen a fight.

I think this is probably true. I'm guessing that not many of us have kids who are in large under-funded urban school systems. Ask a group of parents from, say, Baltimore Public Schools, and your answer is probably a lot different.

As for why I think kids don't get in fights or bully as often as they used to when we were kids, I think part of it is that the academic pressure is such that kids no longer have the free time to even interact with kids outside of their immediate peer group. They're too busy with AP classes, academic clubs, test prep, etc to have a run-in with some other random kid and have the free time to talk trash, escalate, and ultimately throw down.

 

[surfnole]

Bullying still exists in schools. My friends daughter stated there were certain hallways she would not walk down due to the racial bullying (ghetto kids from F schools imported into the best school district in the country).

There are not as many fights today for whatever reason. I got in maybe a dozen fistfights before college, and in some cases, I was friends with the same guy the next day.

I remember one fight during 8th grade at a football game on campus. I had just purchased a coke and some popcorn from the concession stand when a guy came up from behind me and cold cocked me to the side of my head. Soda and popcorn went flying. We got into it and he went to the ground and wrapped his arms around my legs to try and take me down, and I was pounding his sides with my fists.

The next thing I know, I am being held up off the ground by my neck in Coach McBrides right arm and my friend is being help up off the ground with his left arm. He says "You, go that way, and You go that way". And that was the end of it. Would never happen today.

I got in three fist fights with this guy during high school, but he was my friend otherwise. Not my best friend, but we hung out with the same crowd.

 

[NYCNole]

This past summer my 11 yr old slugged a 14 yr old after he pushed down my 9 yr old daughter & her friend into a mailbox. Neighbors said my son was too aggressive. Told 'em to flip off. My daughter's friend father came over to take my son out for ice cream.

 

[gunnyhiway]

I was only in one fight in hs. Other kid started it and I knocked him out. Today, Id get charged with a felony. Back then, 3 days out of school.

 

[Nole Lou]

I have a feeling it might be the district most of your kids attend as to why some have never seen a fight.

There's absolutely no doubt about that. The point is, 30 years ago, that wouldn't matter at all. Any school of any socioeconomic status would have plenty of fights and bullying. Maybe they wouldn't have the knives that showed up in the worst schools, but fights would be common.

There's definitely a change.