How Often do You and Your

[DanC78]

Spouse talk to your parents?

I talk to mine maybe once a week...We have a baby, so it's a solid once a week.

Before baby baby was here it was maybe 2 or 3 times a month. We have a good relationship too, get along just fine.

My wife, she talks to her Dad everyday. Even before baby was born. I think that's great and hope I have the same with my children...BUT, I do find it odd. Don't know why, just do for some reason.
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[FSUTribe76]

Talk as in phone call or "talk" as in social messaging like text, Twitter and Facebook. If it's on the phone, for me it's once or twice a week and for my wife maybe every other week. If it's including social messaging then it's pretty close to every day with some occasional lapses.

 

[mercernole]

Probably not nearly enough and will one day regret it.
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[DanC78]

Originally posted by FSUTribe76:
Talk as in phone call or "talk" as in social messaging like text, Twitter and Facebook. If it's on the phone, for me it's once or twice a week and for my wife maybe every other week. If it's including social messaging then it's pretty close to every day with some occasional lapses.

Talk as in on the phone.

Texting and emailing is different. I send text just about everyday, maybe every other day...I send pictures of baby. My dad sends email chain jokes that aren't funny, but I respond as if they are.
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[FreeFlyNole]

Mom's dead, Ouji board is busted...

Dad, about once a month.

Wife speaks to her parents 3/4 days a week. Our kids stay with Grandma 2 days a week, we usually have them over for dinner or go over there one weekend evening, they live about 5 mins from us.

Good people. Her Dad is always helping me with my projects around the house, I sometimes help him.

 

[DFSNOLE]

My father passed almost 7 years ago. My mom suffers from dementia caused by multiple strokes. I call her at least once a week. No "conversation" last more than 5 minutes. Some are less if she's not having a good day.

This post was edited on 4/9 5:55 PM by DFSNOLE

 

[FreeFlyNole]

Double post, weird.

This post was edited on 4/9 1:07 PM by FreeFlyNole

 

[fsu1jreed]

Originally posted by DFSNOLE:
My father passed almost 7 years ago. My mom suffers from dementia caused by multiple stroke. I call her at least once a week. No "conversation" last more than 5 minutes. Some are less if she's not having a good day.

Man, that sucks............dementia and alzheimer's are my greatest fear, the idea of that scares me ALOT

 

[DanC78]

Originally posted by fsu1jreed:

Originally posted by DFSNOLE:
My father passed almost 7 years ago. My mom suffers from dementia caused by multiple stroke. I call her at least once a week. No "conversation" last more than 5 minutes. Some are less if she's not having a good day.

Man, that sucks............dementia and alzheimer's are my greatest fear, the idea of that scares me ALOT

That is scary. I fear my Dad has some early signs of it as well. He's 67 now, so maybe it's just age. But he clearly does some loopy stuff now.

Free...I visit my parents 4 to 5 times a year. They live in Panama City and I'm in Tampa, so it's a decent haul. I like Tampa and don't mind living here at all, but if a good opportunity presented itself I would move back to PC. Would like to be closer to them, similar to the way you are with the in-laws, would be ideal.

 

[Nole Daddy]

I talk to my parents quite a bit since both are in poor health. Seeing your parents deteriorate sucks.
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[SeaPA]

I've worked with my dad for the last 30 years, so I speak to him almost daily (slightly less now that he's pretty much retired, but still almost every day either work-related or at my sons' sporting events). My mom died about a year & a half ago.

Wife talks to her parents almost every day on the phone, & gets together with her mom probably 4 or 5 times per week for coffee or breakfast.

 

[DanC78]

Originally posted by SeaPA:

I've worked with my dad for the last 30 years, so I speak to him almost daily (slightly less now that he's pretty much retired, but still almost every day either work-related or at my sons' sporting events). My mom died about a year & a half ago.

Wife talks to her parents almost every day on the phone, & gets together with her mom probably 4 or 5 times per week for coffee or breakfast.

SeaPA...if you don't mind me asking. How young are you?

 

[dmm5157]

Having kids definitely changed things for us. Before we had our son, I spoke to my parents (usually my mom) once a week. As they get older, I try to make a bigger effort to talk to them more, as well. Don't want to regret things later, my dad is about 5 years younger than my grandfather (his father) when he passed away.


Me:[/B]

I call my mom almost every day on my lunch break to see how she and my dad are doing. Every few days, I call them after work, if the kids aren't being too unruly.

They drive down (3 hours) to come visit us about once a month.



My wife:

Her mom and dad are divorced, so she never talks to her dad. Chats to her mom about once or twice a week, mostly via text or Facebook messenger. Her mom is a handful and is exhausting to talk to.

My wife does talk with her older sister almost every day, although that's not her choice. Her sis calls her every day onher way home from work.

 

[NoleManDan17]

I eat dinner at my mom's house once a week and talk to her on the phone probably 2-3 times per week. We don't have long phone conversations, it's usually her trying to remind me about something.

I talk to my dad about once a month but the conversations are usually pretty lengthy. He has been living out of the country the past few years for work. I wish I could talk to him more often. We usually e-mail each other a couple of times a month.

 

[seminoledq]

My parents and in-laws all live within a 20 minute drive from us. I stay in touch with my mom via text or email a few times a week and we talk in person or on the phone a couple times a month. I see my dad maybe once a month. We get a long fine but neither of us are the extremely social type so we really don't have a lot to talk about more regularly.

My MIL calls my wife pretty much daily and FIL calls her 3-4 times a week. Seems like a lot but it used to be way worse, as in 3-4/day and daily for the in-laws.

 

[FSUdawg]

My wife talks to her mom at least once a week and she talks to her dad about once a month. As for social media / texting, she actually talks to her mom & step-mom multiple times per week.

As for me, I last spoke with my dad the day I graduated high school in 1991. I last spoke to my mother on my wedding day in 2003. My wife actually talks to my mother once every couple months though.

 

[SeaPA]

Originally posted by DanC78:

Originally posted by SeaPA:

I've worked with my dad for the last 30 years, so I speak to him almost daily (slightly less now that he's pretty much retired, but still almost every day either work-related or at my sons' sporting events). My mom died about a year & a half ago.

Wife talks to her parents almost every day on the phone, & gets together with her mom probably 4 or 5 times per week for coffee or breakfast.

SeaPA...if you don't mind me asking. How young are you?


I turned 52 a couple of weeks ago. Working here is the only real job I've ever had, started when I was a junior at FSU (I went to school summer & fall, worked during the spring).

 

[DanC78]

Originally posted by SeaPA:

Originally posted by DanC78:

Originally posted by SeaPA:

I've worked with my dad for the last 30 years, so I speak to him almost daily (slightly less now that he's pretty much retired, but still almost every day either work-related or at my sons' sporting events). My mom died about a year & a half ago.

Wife talks to her parents almost every day on the phone, & gets together with her mom probably 4 or 5 times per week for coffee or breakfast.

SeaPA...if you don't mind me asking. How young are you?


I turned 52 a couple of weeks ago. Working here is the only real job I've ever had, started when I was a junior at FSU (I went to school summer & fall, worked during the spring).

Wow, good for you man!

Condolences concerning you Mom.
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[BeccaNole72]

I talk to my mom every morning. I usually call her when I am en route back from taking the kids to school. My step-dad usually answers the phone and with him its a quick "Hey what did you catch yesterday?" quick conversation about retired life. He is also President of the board of his development so he usually has some funny retirement community gossip to share.

I used to talk to my real dad every now and then but now his Parkinsons has gotten worse and I feel I need to make up for lost time. I talk to him more often on the phone and go and sit with him once a week so that my step-mom can have a break since she pretty much has to babysit him.

 

[Nolebra Kai]

2-3 times a week
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[DFSNOLE]

Originally posted by fsu1jreed:

Originally posted by DFSNOLE:
My father passed almost 7 years ago. My mom suffers from dementia caused by multiple strokes. I call her at least once a week. No "conversation" last more than 5 minutes. Some are less if she's not having a good day.

Man, that sucks............dementia and alzheimer's are my greatest fear, the idea of that scares me ALOT

Some form of dementia (the doctor didn't want to call it alzheimer's) is what took my dad. Mom recovered pretty well both physically and mentally after the first stroke last year. She hasn't done as well at all after the second earlier this year. She's been very confused and very lethargic. She lives in her own reality. She'll be 85 in a little less than a month. Honestly, I don't understand why the good Lord is keeping her around.

 

[RTM58]

Originally posted by Nole Daddy:
I talk to my parents quite a bit since both are in poor health. Seeing your parents deteriorate sucks.

Yep

 

[goldmom]

My Mom will be 88 in two weeks, and I don't talk to her every day. Once a week. She as an independent senior in her own apartment in a retirement home, has a busy social life, and although she's becoming more frail, she gets up every day and is still interested in life. Sometimes she's forgetful but it seems to be connected to how well she slept the night before.

I stay in touch with my own grown children via text or phone or email even though they live nearby, and I get photos of my granddaughter probably twice a week. I see her maybe twice a month. I wish I could see her every day.

 

[VirginiaNole]

I would encourage everyone to talk to your parents as much as possible, as often as possible. You will miss them when they are gone.

I lost both my Mom and Dad within the last year. My Dad more recently on Feb 27, he made it to 80. He was in Orange Park. My mom died on my wedding anniversary last year on May 2, she was 76. She was here in Virginia where I live.

My Mom was a nut case of the first order and I did not look forward to her phone calls or visits, but I put on a good show for my kids, they adored her. She left my Dad for one of her girlfriends back in '76 and was a nut job ever since. Always asking me and my sister for money, stuff like that. She told me about 6 months before her death that she was not homosexual anymore. I said WTF!? I thought that homosexuality was a natural thing and not a decision? She confirmed to me that the lifestyle is a decision not a born in trait. Flame away, I don't give a shit.....

My Dad was the ever present pillar of a parent. He got us through the divorce BS and raised us until we left for college/life. He married again to my stepmother in '78 and where married until his death in February. He suffered from Parkinson's and had a courageous battle with Melanoma. He was very intelligent engineer. His friends always said he was the best engineer they knew because he applied his engineering skills in everyday life. He was a very good man, hope I can follow his lead and be half the man he was. I did get to see him on Thanksgiving, he was fine then, but I knew it was the last time. That trip to the airport for his return flight to Florida was tough.

So as I said earlier, even though one or both of your parents are nut jobs, make the effort to talk with them regardless, they are your parents and you will miss them tremendously when they are gone.

To answer the original question, I talked with my Dad about once a month or so and my Mom once a week. My wife talks to her parents at least two-three times a week.

 

[DanC78]

Originally posted by VirginiaNole:
I would encourage everyone to talk to your parents as much as possible, as often as possible. You will miss them when they are gone.

I lost both my Mom and Dad within the last year. My Dad more recently on Feb 27, he made it to 80. He was in Orange Park. My mom died on my wedding anniversary last year on May 2, she was 76. She was here in Virginia where I live.

My Mom was a nut case of the first order and I did not look forward to her phone calls or visits, but I put on a good show for my kids, they adored her. She left my Dad for one of her girlfriends back in '76 and was a nut job ever since. Always asking me and my sister for money, stuff like that. She told me about 6 months before her death that she was not homosexual anymore. I said WTF!? I thought that homosexuality was a natural thing and not a decision? She confirmed to me that the lifestyle is a decision not a born in trait. Flame away, I don't give a shit.....

My Dad was the ever present pillar of a parent. He got us through the divorce BS and raised us until we left for college/life. He married again to my stepmother in '78 and where married until his death in February. He suffered from Parkinson's and had a courageous battle with Melanoma. He was very intelligent engineer. His friends always said he was the best engineer they knew because he applied his engineering skills in everyday life. He was a very good man, hope I can follow his lead and be half the man he was. I did get to see him on Thanksgiving, he was fine then, but I knew it was the last time. That trip to the airport for his return flight to Florida was tough.

So as I said earlier, even though one or both of your parents are nut jobs, make the effort to talk with them regardless, they are your parents and you will miss them tremendously when they are gone.

To answer the original question, I talked with my Dad about once a month or so and my Mom once a week. My wife talks to her parents at least two-three times a week.

good post..

I am curious though...why did you speak with your Mom so much more than your Dad if you looked up to your Dad so much more than your mom???

 

[VirginiaNole]

Originally posted by DanC78:

Originally posted by VirginiaNole:
I would encourage everyone to talk to your parents as much as possible, as often as possible. You will miss them when they are gone.

I lost both my Mom and Dad within the last year. My Dad more recently on Feb 27, he made it to 80. He was in Orange Park. My mom died on my wedding anniversary last year on May 2, she was 76. She was here in Virginia where I live.

My Mom was a nut case of the first order and I did not look forward to her phone calls or visits, but I put on a good show for my kids, they adored her. She left my Dad for one of her girlfriends back in '76 and was a nut job ever since. Always asking me and my sister for money, stuff like that. She told me about 6 months before her death that she was not homosexual anymore. I said WTF!? I thought that homosexuality was a natural thing and not a decision? She confirmed to me that the lifestyle is a decision not a born in trait. Flame away, I don't give a shit.....

My Dad was the ever present pillar of a parent. He got us through the divorce BS and raised us until we left for college/life. He married again to my stepmother in '78 and where married until his death in February. He suffered from Parkinson's and had a courageous battle with Melanoma. He was very intelligent engineer. His friends always said he was the best engineer they knew because he applied his engineering skills in everyday life. He was a very good man, hope I can follow his lead and be half the man he was. I did get to see him on Thanksgiving, he was fine then, but I knew it was the last time. That trip to the airport for his return flight to Florida was tough.

So as I said earlier, even though one or both of your parents are nut jobs, make the effort to talk with them regardless, they are your parents and you will miss them tremendously when they are gone.

To answer the original question, I talked with my Dad about once a month or so and my Mom once a week. My wife talks to her parents at least two-three times a week.

good post..

I am curious though...why did you speak with your Mom so much more than your Dad if you looked up to your Dad so much more than your mom???

Good Question. Short answer was my dad was not a touchy feely kind of guy, he was a very straight shooter, that time frame just seemed to work for us. We also emailed back and forth quite a bit.

My mom always called me, she always needed interaction/attention. As I said above, most of her phone calls were asking for things, money, pay her bills, stuff like that. It was very stressful dealing with it all the time.

 

[TexSkills]

Originally posted by goldmom:
I stay in touch with my own grown children via text or phone or email even though they live nearby, and I get photos of my granddaughter probably twice a week. I see her maybe twice a month. I wish I could see her every day.

In JAX, "living nearby" is a subjective term, especially when I live in St Johns County. Your daughter, on the other hand, is right up SS Blvd from you....

 

[DanC78]

Originally posted by TexSkills:

Originally posted by goldmom:
I stay in touch with my own grown children via text or phone or email even though they live nearby, and I get photos of my granddaughter probably twice a week. I see her maybe twice a month. I wish I could see her every day.

In JAX, "living nearby" is a subjective term, especially when I live in St Johns County. Your daughter, on the other hand, is right up SS Blvd from you....

I was waiting for a post like this

For what it's worth, I feel like I get more quality time with my Father now that I live 300 miles away. When we were down the street from each other no one really made the time to get together. Once we moved the planning started. We visit at least once every 3 months for a minimum of a weekend. During that time we give each other our full attention. It seems to be working out better this way...it's strange, but it's true.

I would like to think that if I moved back now, having a child, we would spend more time with each other...even if it were dinner once a week.

Not saying go move, but I thought it was funny of it worked out that way.

 

[jamnolfin]

My mom is getting older so we talk everyday. Sometimes to check but everyday because I worry about her. I talk to my daughter a minimum of once a day. She's me in a skirt, she is my best friend, we do everything together. She travels to as many games as she can , invites me to parties. I'm that close with her best friends to. All of my friends and most of my booster clients know Chelsea
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[NoleFan2U]

I call my mom every day. She is a pain but I am lucky to have her. If my dad is home, I will talk to him too. They will be married 58 years tomorrow. I just can't imagine that!!

 

[Democratic Nole]

Originally posted by VirginiaNole:


So as I said earlier, even though one or both of your parents are nut jobs, make the effort to talk with them regardless, they are your parents and you will miss them tremendously when they are gone.

I could not disagree with this more as a general sentiment. Now certainly, some people's definition of nut jobs or crazy is different, but I don't think one should have to endure misery from another person just because they are a parent or family member.

My Dad died in 2007 when I was 22 and I do miss him a lot. He was a rock and one of the few consistent things in my life.

My mother is not a very good person and much of her life story is very tragic in my opinion. She is extremely neurotic, histrionic and I think may suffer from bipolar disorder. Throughout my childhood, I was forced to deal with the drama and chaos that surrounded her life. Once I became an adult and she did not have the ability to exert financial or other means of control, I basically told her things were going to be different. I communicated to her the ground rules that I expected her to abide by if we were going to maintain a relationship. She managed to break every one of them. At some point, if people aren't going to change, you have to make a decision if you want to continue to have them in your life. I made the decision that I wasn't going to continue to put up with her crap and I wasn't going to subject my spouse or future children to that continued craziness. I stopped talking to her 5 years ago and there's not a been a single day where I have missed it.

For my wife, she probably talks to her mom a few times a week. She doesn't talk to her Dad a whole lot on the phone. We usually visit with her parents once every couple of months.

 

[VirginiaNole]

Originally posted by Democratic Nole:

Originally posted by VirginiaNole:


So as I said earlier, even though one or both of your parents are nut jobs, make the effort to talk with them regardless, they are your parents and you will miss them tremendously when they are gone.

I could not disagree with this more as a general sentiment. Now certainly, some people's definition of nut jobs or crazy is different, but I don't think one should have to endure misery from another person just because they are a parent or family member.

My Dad died in 2007 when I was 22 and I do miss him a lot. He was a rock and one of the few consistent things in my life.

My mother is not a very good person and much of her life story is very tragic in my opinion. She is extremely neurotic, histrionic and I think may suffer from bipolar disorder. Throughout my childhood, I was forced to deal with the drama and chaos that surrounded her life. Once I became an adult and she did not have the ability to exert financial or other means of control, I basically told her things were going to be different. I communicated to her the ground rules that I expected her to abide by if we were going to maintain a relationship. She managed to break every one of them. At some point, if people aren't going to change, you have to make a decision if you want to continue to have them in your life. I made the decision that I wasn't going to continue to put up with her crap and I wasn't going to subject my spouse or future children to that continued craziness. I stopped talking to her 5 years ago and there's not a been a single day where I have missed it.

For my wife, she probably talks to her mom a few times a week. She doesn't talk to her Dad a whole lot on the phone. We usually visit with her parents once every couple of months.

To each his own, I get it.

Your description of your mother actually fits mine pretty close. I did the same thing as you and laid down the law on several occasions. Given time, we revert back to the same crap. The thing that always got me when she kept asking about money and such, I would always say no, she would boohoo and blame her life's misery on everything but her. She was a heavy smoker, whenever she asked for money, I would always tell her, before I even discussed it, she would have to prove to me she could quit smoking, permanently. I knew she would fail every time, then blame it on someone or something else....never her fault. My thoughts on this were simple, if you don't have any money, quit smoking, that's got to be $300 month in savings.

Sounds like we had some common issues, I just chose to keep her around for the Grand Kids sake, thought that was a better plan then cutting the line altogether.

 

[Democratic Nole]

Originally posted by VirginiaNole:

Originally posted by Democratic Nole:

Originally posted by VirginiaNole:


So as I said earlier, even though one or both of your parents are nut jobs, make the effort to talk with them regardless, they are your parents and you will miss them tremendously when they are gone.

I could not disagree with this more as a general sentiment. Now certainly, some people's definition of nut jobs or crazy is different, but I don't think one should have to endure misery from another person just because they are a parent or family member.

My Dad died in 2007 when I was 22 and I do miss him a lot. He was a rock and one of the few consistent things in my life.

My mother is not a very good person and much of her life story is very tragic in my opinion. She is extremely neurotic, histrionic and I think may suffer from bipolar disorder. Throughout my childhood, I was forced to deal with the drama and chaos that surrounded her life. Once I became an adult and she did not have the ability to exert financial or other means of control, I basically told her things were going to be different. I communicated to her the ground rules that I expected her to abide by if we were going to maintain a relationship. She managed to break every one of them. At some point, if people aren't going to change, you have to make a decision if you want to continue to have them in your life. I made the decision that I wasn't going to continue to put up with her crap and I wasn't going to subject my spouse or future children to that continued craziness. I stopped talking to her 5 years ago and there's not a been a single day where I have missed it.

For my wife, she probably talks to her mom a few times a week. She doesn't talk to her Dad a whole lot on the phone. We usually visit with her parents once every couple of months.

To each his own, I get it.

Your description of your mother actually fits mine pretty close. I did the same thing as you and laid down the law on several occasions. Given time, we revert back to the same crap. The thing that always got me when she kept asking about money and such, I would always say no, she would boohoo and blame her life's misery on everything but her. She was a heavy smoker, whenever she asked for money, I would always tell her, before I even discussed it, she would have to prove to me she could quit smoking, permanently. I knew she would fail every time, then blame it on someone or something else....never her fault. My thoughts on this were simple, if you don't have any money, quit smoking, that's got to be $300 month in savings.

Sounds like we had some common issues, I just chose to keep her around for the Grand Kids sake, thought that was a better plan then cutting the line altogether.

Sounds like there are definitely some similarities. I think to each his own is correct. For some people cutting ties works and for some it doesn't. I guess my overall point was probably less towards you and more towards the folks who have the attitude that family must be put up with because they are family.

 

[runkpanole]

I talk to my mom probably 2-3 times a week and usually 1-2 a week with my dad. Usually only about 15 minutes or so. My wife talks to her mom everyday, sometimes more than once a day.

 

[cfbfan23]

I talk to my mom every week or two. About the same for my dad, as well (my folks are divorced). My wife talks to her parents 3 or 4 times a month. It's been that way for both of us since college.