Moving kids up a year in school

[NoleandDawg]

My youngest goes to a small private school where they combine the second and third grades. He's in second grade this year, but he's been doing work with the third graders because he's pretty good academically. The teacher approached us about whether we wanted him to go to fourth next year instead of third, and I'm not sure what to do about it. My wife got moved ahead when she was his age and was happy about it, but her brother who was also moved ahead was bitter because of the negative impact it had on his sports participation.

On the one hand I want him to be a kid and have a chance to grow up on his own, but on the other hand I know the type of kid he is and when he gets bored he has a mischievous side which gets him into trouble. I'm worried that if he spends next year doing the same stuff he's doing this year hes going to be bored and cause trouble. Anyone else have this issue?

 

[BelemNole]

Don't they have an advanced group? My kids have been in those since 3rd grade. Keeps them challenged but with kids their age.
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[nolesincebirth]

Something else to consider: How is his size so far? Normal, big, small? If normal or small for his age, I'd red shirt him but if he'll be able to be similar size as the older kids, it may not be a big deal moving him up.
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[travnole]

Keep him where he is and he will be running things and on top of social food chain in middle school and high school.

Unless he is a tool.
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[FreeFlyNole]

I graduated a year early, but was with my normal class until then. I think it was a good gig, I could have done my senior year, but they gave me the option because I was ahead to skip it.

I enlisted, so it's not like I went to Harvard or anything, but I wanted to serve, so it wasn't a waste. The kids who were in your grade but younger always had a hard time.

 

[BelemNole]

Agreed, I was always one of the youngest and it sucked.
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[NoleandDawg]

Originally posted by BelemNole:
Don't they have an advanced group? My kids have been in those since 3rd grade. Keeps them challenged but with kids their age.
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They don't have an advanced group per se but rather the kids work at their own pace. There's only 10 total kids in second and third grade so the teacher can give them some individual attention. In my kids case he's actually running ahead of the third graders as far as math etc. He's already finished the third grade math he's just hanging out waiting for the third graders to catch up.

As as far as his size, he's a bit smaller than the rest of the kids his age but fairly athletic. He has an August birthday which means he's always been one of the younger kids in his class. He's obviously not destined for a career in professional sports, but I think he'd like to be active in sports teams and being 2 years younger will be a detriment. Maybe I'll just leave it up to him.

 

[BelemNole]

Any other school choices? My kids are doing math and reading several grades above their "class rating" but as part of a group. I know they were pretty bored before the school provided this opinion - we were considering moving them to a school with more programs. They're just too immature to start jumping grades. My son just started middle school and that really helped. He's in all advanced classes with the same group of kids. Although I hate seeing him now stress over school at 10 years old, but its pressure he puts on himself its not coming from us.
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[JohnnieHolmesNole]

Is he going to stay in the "small private school" setting for the long run? I ask because being the biggest/smartest fish in a small school may not translate if he moves into a bigger population where there are plenty of other smart kids too.

Funny, I see kids being HELD BACK for athletic reasons. They are basically a year older than the kids they compete against, and finish high school at age 19. Don't like it, but it happens quite a bit.
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[seminole4life1]

School officials tried to have me skip a grade in school. I am so glad my parents decided against it.

If the school doesn't have an advanced group... look elsewhere. There were 4 levels in my elementary school. The remedial class, the standard class and the advanced class. 3-5 of us in the advanced class then had gifted class one day a week- lots of critical thinking activities.

 

[Banditking]

Wouldn't move up. I'd go to a school with smarter kids.

 

[seminoledq]

Have him do most subjects at his normal school and bus him to UNLV for math classes.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Buy him an Xbox. He'll drop back to the pack in no time. Problem solved.

 

[kc78]

If he is one of the oldest kids in class already, then maybe. However, my son is advanced for his class, but he's also one of the youngest in his class. While I think he could handle it academically, I think he would really struggle with the social aspect of it if we moved him up a grade.

 

[cmanole]

Don't do it. Not good for a boy socially or emotionally imo. I don't think it's as bad on girls but am not sure...

 

[smhnole]

Originally posted by cmanole:
Don't do it. Not good for a boy socially or emotionally imo. I don't think it's as bad on girls but am not sure...

I agree with this. I was offered the chance to move up in 2nd grade. Glad I didn't. I was still bored, but gifted classes once a week helped keep me stimulated.

Its kinda been touched on, but it sounds like the school he's in isn't ideal or challenging, in general.

 

[DMoriarty]

What sports is he interested in? In my town little league baseball and peewee football are grouped by age, not grade. Basketball was grouped by grade, though.

 

[NoleFan2U]

I skipped kindergarten and was a year younger than all my classmates. It sucked when I couldn't drive or even drink with my friends. I missed the 18 year old drinking age by a mere 3 months! Otherwise, for a girl, it was ok. Not sure I would do it for a boy though.

 

[NoleandDawg]

Originally posted by NoleFan2U:
I skipped kindergarten and was a year younger than all my classmates. It sucked when I couldn't drive or even drink with my friends. I missed the 18 year old drinking age by a mere 3 months! Otherwise, for a girl, it was ok. Not sure I would do it for a boy though.

My wife graduated high school at 16. When she went college she couldn't even drive. She was glad she did it because she always knew what she wanted to do and wanted to get to college as quick as possible.

We talked to him and he said he wanted to stay with his friends. That makes the decision easy.

As for me, I didn't start college until I was 24. That was never my issue.

 

[DanC78]

Shooting from the hip here, but I would say don't do it.

Let him grow up with kids hi age for social and confidence reasons. If he needs extra challenges academically, I'm sure there are ways outside of school to help keep him busy and challenged.

Then again, if all he cares about school on a massive level and could skip multiple levels and eventually work for NASA or Google, or maybe even then let it ride....why not!

You should watch the show Child Genius on Lifetime. The season just ended but I'm sure it's still playing on demand. It's a reality show where the smartest kids in the US come together for a competition to crown the countries smartest kid. Watching the dynamics of their parents and kids interacting is interesting and funny. There is a 12 year old college kid on the show. He seems super happy.

 

[Wendy79]

I imagine there is work he could do on his own (with teacher's and your help), especially with math. If the school has wifi, have him watch Khan Academy videos and look for corresponding assignments (look for homeschooling resources) he can work on while the rest of the kids catch up to him.

Is it that he's that much more advanced than the rest, or is he just surrounded by average/less advanced kids?

 

[Sawyer55]

Have a same issue basically......I won't do it though for social/athletic type issues.


I am actively trying to figure out how to get him challenged with academics but just can't see moving him up.

 

[Nole Lou]

All three of my kids could have handled it academically, and I flirted with the idea a bit, mainly to fast forward the time it took to get them out of the house. But when it comes down to it, there's much more potential downside, and not much upside at all.

There's no guarantee a kid is going to be "challenged" by the next level work. Much of the time it's not the actual content of the work, but the presentation style. He's still going to eventually "get" the work, and then he'll be bored again. Being bored in school is just a fact of life that isn't likely to ever totally end all the way through college. And there are probably more negatives from really struggling with work year after year than there are with having an easier time of it.

I'm going through it bad for the first time with my son who's in fifth grade. My girls were just as far along, but he is the first one that complains about it all the time and says that he can't stand school. That is a bit disconcerting, but he'll go into middle school next year where I anticipate more options, and by the time he gets to high school, he'll be able to take all AP classes, or be as aggressive as he wants. I can't imagine he'll be unchallenged with AP Physics, AP Calculus, etc. He's not a super-genius by what I can tell.

 

[321Nole]

Put him in a different school next year, then switch him back for 4th grade if you want. That way when he's older he can always claim to have a girlfriend from the other school.

That alone will save you a lot of money in those out of state summer camps.
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[Formerly Rockymtnole]

My kids go to a local charter school and they use ability grouping for math, science and literacy, and monitor the kids to move up or down each year. It makes so much sense I don't know why it's not done everywhere.

 

[clownsrule]

Do NOT do this. I did this and it sucked donkey balls. I graduated at 16 and high school was a disaster. There is literally NO benefit to this. If they're bored or not challenged, do other things outside of class where they can be challenged.

Take up a sport, learn an instrument, learn another instrument, whatever. Graduating at 16 sucks. Girls won't date you; they'll think you're like their cute younger brother. You can't drive, can't get a job, can't do anything that the other kids in your grade can do.

Usually parents do this for their own vanity and their own ego. "My Billy is so much smarter than the other kids that they had to move him up a grade. And he's already smarter than those kids too!"

I could punch my mom in the nose for putting me through this nonsense.

 

[2noles1cup]

Nice subtle brag OP.

 

[Thebear612]

Put me in the dont do it camp. I would also look for another school if possible. You will have maturity issues, size issues, etc if he moves up. Furthermore, studies show that many parents try and hold their kids BACK in school so that the child is the smartest, most confident of the group as statistically these kids excel more as they get older. You would be doing the exact opposite.

 

[booker20]

My oldest daughter actually started kindergarten at 4... but because of her August birthday. She just made the cut off. We could have held her out for another year, and it would have potentially helped her physically/ socially, but she was mentally ready for school.

For us, it's all about education/ learning. Kids are always going to make friends... I mean, you're talking about 3rd grade.

When I was in 3rd grade, my class had about 85 kids in it. When we graduated, 62. As long as he's intellectually prepared to progress, let him. I mean, as small as this school sounds, I can't see it being a big deal to have your best friends a grade behind you.

I also have an August birthday, and graduated at 17 from HS... athletically, if I had one more year, it would have been great. But like you were saying, a professional sports career is very unlikely for anyone, so it wouldn't have really made much of a difference in the long run.