My wife knows everything
- Thread starter cmanole
- Start date
Does she tell you things you did in the past, that she wasn't present for, that you didn't do, and insists that was what happened?
All wives know everything! Admitting and accepting it just means you understand and will have a long happy marriage!!
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Posted from Rivals Mobile
Does your wife, who knows everything, humble you and will ask you a question and then terrorize you because of your answer, because you are wrong?
Ever open something up and because it is not assembled or running in less than 5 seconds, as regulated in the Wife Handbook for Dummy Husbands, that said item is grabbed from your useless hands so that she can show you how to assemble it/get it running? God forbid I put new batteries in the remote and because I am not really looking at the back of the remote, I mistakenly attempt to put the battery cover on backwards and then the "wife alarm goes off, complete with lights and sirens" just as my wife rips the remote out of my hands, so that she can put the remote battery cover on correctly and for the next 23 years she can tell me that she has to do everything?
Ever open something up and because it is not assembled or running in less than 5 seconds, as regulated in the Wife Handbook for Dummy Husbands, that said item is grabbed from your useless hands so that she can show you how to assemble it/get it running? God forbid I put new batteries in the remote and because I am not really looking at the back of the remote, I mistakenly attempt to put the battery cover on backwards and then the "wife alarm goes off, complete with lights and sirens" just as my wife rips the remote out of my hands, so that she can put the remote battery cover on correctly and for the next 23 years she can tell me that she has to do everything?
Don't you know you know that when young, girls are sent to a special school? They memorize the rules below
The Women's Rules
The female always makes the rules
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
The female may change her mind at any time.
The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
The male is expected to mind read at all times.
Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
The female is ready when she is ready.
The male must be ready at all time.
The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
Author is Unknown, but I bet it's a woman.
The Women's Rules
The female always makes the rules
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
The female may change her mind at any time.
The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
The male is expected to mind read at all times.
Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
The female is ready when she is ready.
The male must be ready at all time.
The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
Author is Unknown, but I bet it's a woman.
Very nice and Gronkable!Originally posted by More Kirk Less Spock:
maybe its just cause I'm getting older, but I see a lot to like at 50
It's was a good move on Hugh Grant's part stepping out on her......Originally posted by More Kirk Less Spock:
maybe its just cause I'm getting older, but I see a lot to like at 50
I think his misstep was into territory offering something she could not/. But it proves the old maxim, no matter how pretty the girl, somewhere there is a guy tired of....
My wife has a great memory. Never forgets the names of people we meet or scheduling stuff....it's actually great!
Posted from Rivals Mobile
Posted from Rivals Mobile
On top of that, she's a Glendale/Gaskin chick who will hunt you down, drop you in a pile, field dress you and drag your sorry carcass back to the truck. All before breakfast.
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Wives and gf's think they know everything until they do the load of laundry with boxers worn on the weekend of the seafood festival and spring training game and belgian beer fest.
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Posted from Rivals Mobile
Sadly those proud specimans of an american male weekend are sitting neatly wrapped in a publix bag somewhere in the midst of a melbourne landfill.
Posted from Rivals Mobile
Same here. I'm married to a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and knowing everything must be a prereq to be in that profession.
Originally posted by More Kirk Less Spock:
maybe its just cause I'm getting older, but I see a lot to like at 50
Wellness has been a way of life for @BAZAARAustralia[/B] today
So does mine.
But only about the past. You see...... she is obviously a Communist deep plant. No I'm not talking a Marx Tree but A SPY!!!
My current nickname for her is "Hitler" because you must obey her command. Not just your actions but your thoughts. It is absurd how she changes past fact to fit her narrative.
"Remember when you did this this and this? That shows that your intent was this."
That's nice honey but I actually did that that and that so my intent could never and was never this."
But rejoice good Mericans. The dadgum Ruskies flopped again. When they assigned her to me little did they know that I was obviously trained from birth to be a maddening decoy for such a spy. I've taken her on wild goose chase after wild goose chase saving the rest of you from her evil assignment to disrupt the U.S. Merican way.
But only about the past. You see...... she is obviously a Communist deep plant. No I'm not talking a Marx Tree but A SPY!!!
My current nickname for her is "Hitler" because you must obey her command. Not just your actions but your thoughts. It is absurd how she changes past fact to fit her narrative.
"Remember when you did this this and this? That shows that your intent was this."
That's nice honey but I actually did that that and that so my intent could never and was never this."
But rejoice good Mericans. The dadgum Ruskies flopped again. When they assigned her to me little did they know that I was obviously trained from birth to be a maddening decoy for such a spy. I've taken her on wild goose chase after wild goose chase saving the rest of you from her evil assignment to disrupt the U.S. Merican way.
