Are you friends with your FIL?

[BelemNole]

My FIL is a nice guy, but we're not friends. Part of it is that we live on opposite sides of the country, but the truth of the matter is we have nothing in common other than his daughter. His interests are composite materials, baseball statistics, and religion. Mine don't overlap with any of those. When my folks retired they took up golf. When her's did they took up church. Not religion, but the church. They became church people. Trips with the church, involved in the running of it, politics of it, rules, lots of rules. I think I let it sour me. I was 30 when I first me them. They gave me a cassette tape on the joys of abstinence.
Anyway, we're all getting older and I realized that we're not really friends. My brothers and sisters seem to be friends with theirs. Hell, my older brother used to go on camping trips with his FIL. Pretty sure we'll never be like that. But I think we can be friendlier.
How about you all?

 

[Bartdog]

Never met mine. He died before I met my wife. I am friends with one of her older brothers, though (by 15 years). He gave her away at the wedding. We go to FSU games together sometimes. He got his masters at FSU back when they'd give away a block of tickets for free if an organization needed them.

Does that count?

 

[F4Gary]

Originally posted by BelemNole:
My FIL is a nice guy, but we're not friends. Part of it is that we live on opposite sides of the country, but the truth of the matter is we have nothing in common other than his daughter. His interests are composite materials, baseball statistics, and religion. Mine don't overlap with any of those. When my folks retired they took up golf. When her's did they took up church. Not religion, but the church. They became church people. Trips with the church, involved in the running of it, politics of it, rules, lots of rules. I think I let it sour me. I was 30 when I first me them. They gave me a cassette tape on the joys of abstinence.
Anyway, we're all getting older and I realized that we're not really friends. My brothers and sisters seem to be friends with theirs. Hell, my older brother used to go on camping trips with his FIL. Pretty sure we'll never be like that. But I think we can be friendlier.
How about you all?

I hope he is not as judgmental as you.

I got along great with my FIL even though they were involved with their church and I'm not. Live and let live.

He got pancreatic cancer and lived for 3 1/2 years. Engineer and inventor for NCR. Loved talking to him about mechanical things. He was very analytical.

 

[BelemNole]

I suppose. I like both her brothers, they're good guys. If we lived closer I'd hang out more with them.
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[dmm5157]

My FIL is one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever met. Definition of a chronic liar, and delusional to boot. Suffers from severe narcissism as well.

The guy thinks he's got life figured out and is a self proclaimed health and fitness expert. Any time you speak with him, he acts like he's the smartest guy in the world, but most of the stuff he says is just lies he makes up (including listing Google as one of his places of employment on his Facebook page). He's also missing most of his teeth likely due to his recreational drug use (mostly meth). He harbored my drug addict and drug dealing SIL for years.

Would love to go into more detail, but we have some ongoing legal hearings coming up and probably can't say much more than that.

 

[DanC78]

My FIL and I get along well, but I wouldn't say we are buddies. He's in his 70s and doesn't do much these days. But yeah, I like him. He just left from hanging out for the weekend. We had a few beers and talked it up. He's a big religious guy and loves to talk about the super natural part of it, I dig that stuff. He's a pretty incredible dude in general as well. Left the Philippines when he was in his early twenties without knowing how to speak English. Joined the military, learned English and eventually graduated from Johns Hopkins as Physicians Assistant. He's a good dude, not much he wouldn't do for us either. Matter of fact, I have to get him to tone it down with the gifts and generosity sometimes.
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[FSUTribe76]

I get along great with my FIL. He's a giant nerd and so am I, why wouldn't we get along?

 

[BelemNole]

Originally posted by F4Gary:

Originally posted by BelemNole:

My FIL is a nice guy, but we're not friends. Part of it is that we live on opposite sides of the country, but the truth of the matter is we have nothing in common other than his daughter. His interests are composite materials, baseball statistics, and religion. Mine don't overlap with any of those. When my folks retired they took up golf. When her's did they took up church. Not religion, but the church. They became church people. Trips with the church, involved in the running of it, politics of it, rules, lots of rules. I think I let it sour me. I was 30 when I first me them. They gave me a cassette tape on the joys of abstinence.

Anyway, we're all getting older and I realized that we're not really friends. My brothers and sisters seem to be friends with theirs. Hell, my older brother used to go on camping trips with his FIL. Pretty sure we'll never be like that. But I think we can be friendlier.

How about you all?

I hope he is not as judgmental as you.



I got along great with my FIL even though they were involved with their church and I'm not. Live and let live.



He got pancreatic cancer and lived for 3 1/2 years. Engineer and inventor for NCR. Loved talking to him about mechanical things. He was very analytical.

Well, I'm not sure he is. But his wife is in spades and I think that I've treated them as a package deal. So, we have been friendly, but not friends.
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[OrlandNole]

Belem wasn't judging his FIL. He didn't attach value statements to his observations, just stating that they don't have a lot in common.

My FIL is a big Gator fan, but we still get along fine. He used to be a big fisher and I'd go along with him a lot, even thought I'm not really one myself.

 

[zlloyd1]

I get along great with mine. I was actually co-workers and friends with him before I ever started dating his daughter. I work for the family company now and we hang out a lot otherwise. We have dirt late models so there is a lot of hanging out in the shop and on the weekends at the tracks and he foots the bill in all of it. We are really close with both of her parents and kind of like dmm we have to tell them to chill with all the giving sometimes. I rarely traveled growing up but I have been all over the place the last few years with them.
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[tommynole3476]

Nope.

Probably something to do with him being a psychopathic pedophile or something...

 

[FSUSarah]

My FIL is great! He travels all over he world for his job. Likes to take us on football weekends. Even got me a plane ticket so I could go the Natl Championship game!

 

[alaskanseminole]

My FIL calls me son. He never had boys, so he treats me as though I'm the "son he never had." He bought be a giant gun safe for Christmas....ya. I'm thinking we're good. LOL

 

[DanC78]

Originally posted by alaskanseminole:
My FIL calls me son. He never had boys, so he treats me as though I'm the "son he never had." He bought be a giant gun safe for Christmas....ya. I'm thinking we're good. LOL

Good point...I call my FIL Dad. Anyone else do this.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[MVT ATLANTA]

My FIL is my step FIL. He married up when he married my MIL. She has money and lives good. My wife and I joke about what possibly he brings to the relationship other than sex.

My MIL waits on him hand and foot. He doesn't do much but hang out and piddle around in the garage doing odd things. He's also the opposite politically than the rest of the family so there's one subject we just don't talk about.

His side of the family has the worst luck to. Every new car they get, he wrecks within 6 months. They travel the world and drive around the country so we don't see them much, especially since we moved out of Florida.

At the end of the day we don't give him much thought as we aren't the ones that have to live with him and take care of him.

 

[NoleGreg10]

Originally posted by dmm5157:
My FIL is one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever met. Definition of a chronic liar, and delusional to boot. Suffers from severe narcissism as well.

The guy thinks he's got life figured out and is a self proclaimed health and fitness expert. Any time you speak with him, he acts like he's the smartest guy in the world, but most of the stuff he says is just lies he makes up (including listing Google as one of his places of employment on his Facebook page). He's also missing most of his teeth likely due to his recreational drug use (mostly meth). He harbored my drug addict and drug dealing SIL for years.

Would love to go into more detail, but we have some ongoing legal hearings coming up and probably can't say much more than that.

Mine isn't this bad but he is no prize either. He is on his 3rd wife and has 5 kids that he claims but he has 1 more he won't claim that looks just like him. Both the mom and son say it is his. He cheated on and left my MIL when my wife was perhaps 2 or so. Then left the wife he left my MIL for after having 3 kids with her. Now he is with another woman he married but she is an alcoholic and tries to control his life. Fitting. So he disappears on her in the middle of the night to leave then they make up and he goes back. They were living in Florida and he drove her to Michigan. Then flew back without her to Florida and moved all her stuff back to Michigan. Then they got back together.

Guy has everything he owns in other people's names (including my wife which I put a stop to) to avoid losing it in the divorces. He is constantly trading ownership of stuff. Despite doing about 20k a month in business (landscape and snow plowing) he can't make money and is always broke. Used to have tons of things and a great business. Ran it into the ground.

I was in FL this week for a leadership meeting with my job and then my sister's wedding. We got back last night. Come to find out he has been staying at my house while we were gone. Found his jacket and shaver in the house.

So long story short, no we are not friends. I say hello to him but I want zero to do with him. Sad thing is my wife knows all this but "its still her father".

 

[tommynole3476]

Originally posted by BelemNole:
They gave me a cassette tape on the joys of abstinence.

Was that even the current technology at the time? I'm assuming they gave this to you sometime around late 90's early 00's, so no? That makes it even better. Information really should be stored and presented on the media most comparable to the information's relevance. Like how Miami Hurricane Football highlights should be shown on VHS.

 

[cfbfan23]

Originally posted by DanC78:

Originally posted by alaskanseminole:
My FIL calls me son. He never had boys, so he treats me as though I'm the "son he never had." He bought be a giant gun safe for Christmas....ya. I'm thinking we're good. LOL

Good point...I call my FIL Dad. Anyone else do this.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

Dan,

How long have you known him?

 

[kc78]

I've only met my wife's real Dad twice. He's been pretty much non-existent most of her life and almost all of it since I've known her. Her step-dad is a good dude, who she considers Dad. I consider him to be my Father in Law. We get along fine and he's a nice guy, but we have pretty much nothing in common. He likes the Seminoles, but he's only a passing fan, so we can only talk about it that much. So I wouldn't consider him my friend, but I certainly don't dislike him.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

Originally posted by dmm5157:
My FIL is one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever met. Definition of a chronic liar, and delusional to boot. Suffers from severe narcissism as well.

The guy thinks he's got life figured out and is a self proclaimed health and fitness expert. Any time you speak with him, he acts like he's the smartest guy in the world, but most of the stuff he says is just lies he makes up (including listing Google as one of his places of employment on his Facebook page). He's also missing most of his teeth likely due to his recreational drug use (mostly meth). He harbored my drug addict and drug dealing SIL for years.

Would love to go into more detail, but we have some ongoing legal hearings coming up and probably can't say much more than that.

Growing up with him must have driven your wife to drink.

I have the inverse of a stereotypical relationship with my FIL. I intimidate the hell out of him.

 

[FSUTribe76]

Originally posted by DanC78:

Originally posted by alaskanseminole:
My FIL calls me son. He never had boys, so he treats me as though I'm the "son he never had." He bought be a giant gun safe for Christmas....ya. I'm thinking we're good. LOL

Good point...I call my FIL Dad. Anyone else do this.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

I don't. My FIL and I get along great and I would put him in my tightest circle of friends and family but we just call each other by our first names. I'm not even sure I would feel comfortable calling him dad even if he ever called me son just because I would feel it's taking something away from my real dad. I have been VERY fortunate in that my immediate family and close extended family (aunts, uncles and cousins) have always been very close with literally no friction and everyone is pretty successful in life and the blackest sheep of our family in my generation or the one above mine would still probably qualify to participate in a Klan rally (unfortunately that has not extended to the next generation as some of my cousins' kids are complete f$*^ups who have separated themselves from the family due to their own horrible decisionmaking). So my family both immediate and extended have always been very tight. And fortunately for me again, my wife's family is as tight in the immediate family (not as much in the extended family as there's friction between the aunts on one side for some reason).

Long ramble short, I'm very close to my FIL but I don't consider him a father or even a father figure, more of a close friend.

 

[rustyb93]

I have been blessed with one of the greatest father in laws anyone could ever ask for. He treats me better than I deserve. My mother in law is the same way.

I couldn't possibly list all of the kind things he has done for me, my two kids (whom he worships), and my wife. He also does more for his neighbors than anyone I've ever seen. He is just a giving person. I am really, really, lucky, and I will miss him dearly when he is gone.

 

[phideltflg]

I consider myself to be very when it comes to in laws in general. My FIL is an absolutely great guy and I love spending time with him. He has three daughters and I think he was probably just happy to have some other men around to balance all the estrogen in his life.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Never met my FIL. He's alive, my wife just doesn't have any kind of relationship with him. He sounds like an absolute piece of crap though: he treated my wife terribly growing up, cheated on his wife and had fun babies all over the countries. He tried to move one of the "other women" and their bastard kid into his home, and when his wife said no, he cleaned out the bank account and took off in the middle of the day, never to be seen again. He's apparently wanted by the IRS for a whole lot of fraud and tax evasion.

 

[TexSkills]

My FIL and I get along just fine. We have some common interests but he's also very different from me. He's a very particular and somewhat OCD person but I guess that's because he's an MD

. Great guy and very generous.

He and my MIL come to town often and I have never had any problems with either of them. I genuinely enjoy my in-laws company and they're very good people.

 

[DanC78]

Originally posted by cfbfan23:

Originally posted by DanC78:

Originally posted by alaskanseminole:
My FIL calls me son. He never had boys, so he treats me as though I'm the "son he never had." He bought be a giant gun safe for Christmas....ya. I'm thinking we're good. LOL

Good point...I call my FIL Dad. Anyone else do this.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

Dan,

How long have you known him?

A few years now, but didn't start the Dad thing until we got married, which was last August.

It was kinda as a joke the first time, but then it stuck. I'll call him Papa on occasions too, which is what the grandkids call him.
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[goldmom]

My FIL was almost a complete stranger. He left my MIL with four little kids to go off with a woman who knew she was stealing a man with four kids and still had no hesitation.

He never acknowledged any of his grandkids and became a stranger to his children. The kids all had trust funds from their grandfather and he was the trustee until they turned 21. My husband had to take his own father to court to get his father to turn over his trust fund. Very bitter time.

My children both have great FIL's, which is good because they lost their Dad ten years ago and they've been so lucky to have nice guys become "an elder male figure" in their lives. My own Daddy was more of a father figure to my late husband than his own father was. They got along great.

 

[nolefan407]

My FIL introduces me as his son and I call him dad. Great guy. Sometimes I think I have a better relationship with my FIL than I do with my dad.
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[JohnnieHolmesNole]

Nice guy, but we are not buddies. I am still slightly miffed that he failed to warn me about all of the BS that he surely knew about, and allowed me to walk into. I think it's called "fraud by omission."

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[seminoledq]

I get along well with my FIL. I see him much more often than my own dad We don't have a lot in common but have no problem talking over beers every now and again. He treats my wife and kids like gold so he is good by me.

 

[larandtra]

My FIL is a good guy. Always been there when needed, we do stuff together. But he is retired Navy with 23 years in and my dad is retired Navy 25 years in. So I knew the type of person he was from day one and it worked well. Im thrilled he is my FIL.

This post was edited on 3/2 12:24 PM by larandtra

 

[Noles229]

My FIL is a great guy can't really say we are friends though.
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[BooneNole63]

My FIL was hands down the most critical, angry, opinionated person I have ever seen or met in my life. Nothing comes remotely close.

I didn't want any more relationship with him than absolutely necessary. My wife and our marriage still suffer from the lingering effects of her being raised in his household. I have come to realize and accept that for her some things will always go unresolved.

He died 15 years ago and I don't think anyone, including his wife, has been to visit his grave and he was never mentioned in family gatherings ever again. Very sad.

 

[Bud Fox]

I have been extremely blessed to have my MIL & FIL. Since I was around 18, my parents (and my brothers) have been more like my children than my Mom & Dad, and so my FIL has been kind of a father figure to me since I married my wife.

I have had some issues with them (Our entire family unit is full of very strong, Type A personalities), so there have been times where my wife and I have had to have very pointed discussions with them about how we have decided to raise our twin boys (Whom both my FIL & MIL adore). Things have gotten heated a few times.

I will say that my FIL is one of the very best MEN I have ever known, and I call him Dad. He has trouble showing his feelings, but we are very close, and is probably the only person (other than my wife) whose opinion and advice I would ever value enough to seek out.

I consider myself very lucky, especially after reading about some of the dumpster fire FIL's some of you poor bastards have been saddled with. My FIL is getting older now, and I know for a fact when he goes, it will hit our family like a Mack Truck.

We actually are so close with them, it is probably the only reason we are still living in South Florida.

 

[FreeFlyNole]

As with all threads in the LR this one has come around a few times. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love my FIL. Best guy ever, funny, smart, hard working, self made, successful, GREAT father. I hope to be half the dad and husband this guy is. He is a shining example of what is right with the world.

My relationship has gotten better with my father over the years, but this guy has been a better father to me in the past 9 years than my own father ever was.

 

[vevois23]

My FIL is a good guy and we are friendly. I wouldn't necessarily say friends, as he has made some choices that have negatively effected their family over the years (though none that have impacted me), but I talk to him when we are around each other, help him out with things that are in my knowledge base, and such.

The piece that I like is that he is an amazing grandfather. He would run through a wall for my kids.

 

[Democratic Nole]

My FIL is a nice man and we get along, but like Belem, I just don't have much in common with him, so I don't know that we would ever be close. On the other hand, I am pretty tight with my MIL.

There have been some comments in this thread that remind me that I am always surprised when people think they have to put up with crap from family members because they are "family." If someone is a piece of shit, they are a piece of shit. I don't particularly care if they are family or not.

 

[Nolebra Kai]

I get along great with my FIL. He treats me like his son. We bought a house a year ago and he's retired so he comes over and helps with projects I am doing around the house. He's extremely handy and has taught me a lit if things when it comes to fixing things or doing stuff around the house.
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[BooneNole63]

Originally posted by Democratic Nole:
My FIL is a nice man and we get along, but like Belem, I just don't have much in common with him, so I don't know that we would ever be close. On the other hand, I am pretty tight with my MIL.

There have been some comments in this thread that remind me that I am always surprised when people think they have to put up with crap from family members because they are "family." If someone is a piece of shit, they are a piece of shit. I don't particularly care if they are family or not.

Not sure the number or context of the "pieces of shit" you have to deal with in your family but from your statements I would surmise that you are a rookie in this department. Please don't speak out of ignorance or inexperience.

 

[Democratic Nole]

Originally posted by BooneNole63:

Originally posted by Democratic Nole:
My FIL is a nice man and we get along, but like Belem, I just don't have much in common with him, so I don't know that we would ever be close. On the other hand, I am pretty tight with my MIL.

There have been some comments in this thread that remind me that I am always surprised when people think they have to put up with crap from family members because they are "family." If someone is a piece of shit, they are a piece of shit. I don't particularly care if they are family or not.

Not sure the number or context of the "pieces of shit" you have to deal with in your family but from your statements I would surmise that you are a rookie in this department. Please don't speak out of ignorance or inexperience.

Please enlighten me.