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Are you friends with your FIL?

Originally posted by BooneNole63:

Originally posted by Democratic Nole:
My FIL is a nice man and we get along, but like Belem, I just don't have much in common with him, so I don't know that we would ever be close. On the other hand, I am pretty tight with my MIL.

There have been some comments in this thread that remind me that I am always surprised when people think they have to put up with crap from family members because they are "family." If someone is a piece of shit, they are a piece of shit. I don't particularly care if they are family or not.
Not sure the number or context of the "pieces of shit" you have to deal with in your family but from your statements I would surmise that you are a rookie in this department. Please don't speak out of ignorance or inexperience.
I'd love to hear about your experiences with pieces of shit Boone. Is your name Shooter McGavin by any chance?

DemocraticNole is a 100% correct. Just because we share family ties does not mean that they get a free pass. I find in most cases it makes them more likely to screw you over because they are family and they can handle it. You earn respect, you don't get it just because you are my wife's father or cousin.

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Well, I was, until his daughter decided one day that "she wasn't sure what she wanted out of life". We did tons of stuff together, fishing, travel, heck, even worked for/with him for most of the relationship.

I still remember the day I went to pick my stuff up from the house and he decided to meet me there. He just stood there shaking his head and muttered, I'm sorry, just not sure what is wrong with her. He started tearing up and had to leave.

Always thought he was joking with me when he used to tease me about not marrying her, because she was just like her mother, who he has been married to well over 40 years. Guess I should have listened.

FIL to be, well, we have some what of a language barrier, but he is a cool cat, and he hugs me everytime he sees me, so I guess we are pals.
 
Originally posted by NoleGreg10:

Originally posted by BooneNole63:

Originally posted by Democratic Nole:
My FIL is a nice man and we get along, but like Belem, I just don't have much in common with him, so I don't know that we would ever be close. On the other hand, I am pretty tight with my MIL.

There have been some comments in this thread that remind me that I am always surprised when people think they have to put up with crap from family members because they are "family." If someone is a piece of shit, they are a piece of shit. I don't particularly care if they are family or not.
Not sure the number or context of the "pieces of shit" you have to deal with in your family but from your statements I would surmise that you are a rookie in this department. Please don't speak out of ignorance or inexperience.
I'd love to hear about your experiences with pieces of shit Boone. Is your name Shooter McGavin by any chance?

DemocraticNole is a 100% correct. Just because we share family ties does not mean that they get a free pass. I find in most cases it makes them more likely to screw you over because they are family and they can handle it. You earn respect, you don't get it just because you are my wife's father or cousin.

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I like my father-in-law, but I do not think of us as friends. I am happy to have him around, however. My in-laws have always been helpful whenever we needed. They have helped us move and stayed with us at the hotel when we were adopting our daughters. They usually stay with us for about a month every year and do all kinds of little jobs around the house. But, I would never think about just hanging out with him.
 
We are around each other only when it absolutely necessary.

It all started when he asked me to pull his boat someplace for him. When he got into my truck, boat attached, he noted that I was listening to conservative radio and chastised me for it. That was the end of what could have been a pretty decent relationship. Ask me for a favor, then go on a rant about my listening choices, in my truck. Piss OFF.

I imagine this may be a reason the OP has little in common with his FIL.

I would love it if my FIL was involved with his Church, mine is a pot-head that I have little respect.
 
I'm friendly with my father in law and like him, but I wouldn't consider ourselves "friends". He is 35 years older than me and we have nothing in common and don't have much to talk about. We've never lived near them, so I only see him a few times a year at most. He's been pretty generous to us (by our standards, nothing crazy like Locker Room standards), and probably would have been more so had I let him or asked him. He's always treated me nicely.

My wife has not been all that close to/fond of her parents, so that's probably as best as I would ever ask for. Happy with it as far as I'm concerned.
 
Originally posted by rustyb93:
I have been blessed with one of the greatest father in laws anyone could ever ask for. He treats me better than I deserve. My mother in law is the same way.

I couldn't possibly list all of the kind things he has done for me, my two kids (whom he worships), and my wife. He also does more for his neighbors than anyone I've ever seen. He is just a giving person. I am really, really, lucky, and I will miss him dearly when he is gone.
Wow, Rusty. Your in laws sound like they're the best.
 
Wait until your in-laws move in with you and start soiling themselves and your furniture. That's when you can evaluate the real strength of the relationship.
Posted from Rivals Mobile
 
My FIL died before we could have met, but he musta been a helluva guy. Grew up dirt poor, wrangled a spot at Citadel from where he became a chemist for Eastman Kodak, wound up an officer at the Battle of the Bulge, later went thru med school... outdoorsman, builder, traveler, and party thrower.
MIL was well read, good looking as they come, generous beyond belief, taught old school common sense, and was an amazing mentor to our kids. I can't express how much she meant to us...he would have been the same, I am sure.
 
Originally posted by billanole:
My FIL died before we could have met, but he musta been a helluva guy. Grew up dirt poor, wrangled a spot at Citadel from where he became a chemist for Eastman Kodak, wound up an officer at the Battle of the Bulge, later went thru med school... outdoorsman, builder, traveler, and party thrower.
MIL was well read, good looking as they come, generous beyond belief, taught old school common sense, and was an amazing mentor to our kids. I can't express how much she meant to us...he would have been the same, I am sure.
They sound as though they could have been the poster children for the Greatest Generation. Your wife was a lucky lady!
 
Originally posted by goldmom:
Originally posted by billanole:
My FIL died before we could have met, but he musta been a helluva guy. Grew up dirt poor, wrangled a spot at Citadel from where he became a chemist for Eastman Kodak, wound up an officer at the Battle of the Bulge, later went thru med school... outdoorsman, builder, traveler, and party thrower.
MIL was well read, good looking as they come, generous beyond belief, taught old school common sense, and was an amazing mentor to our kids. I can't express how much she meant to us...he would have been the same, I am sure.
They sound as though they could have been the poster children for the Greatest Generation. Your wife was a lucky lady!
So true, goldmom. I think of them a lot. Of course, I could say similar things about my folks. I drew the long straw.... and it has nothing to do with material possessions. I know that your Dad was one of the good guys as well. Bless 'Em.
 
Like many who have already posted, we are friendly but I don't think we are friends. I only see him once or twice a year. We are separated by over 1000 miles when they are in Penn and over 500 when they are snow birding in South Florida.

He is the prototypical Pittsburgher who got laid off from the steel mills after 29 years. Different than most though, he went back to school, got his degree and started a couple of business that did well.

We have come to the conclusion that there are certain things we just can't talk about. He is a world class conspiracy theorist who worships at the alter of Glen Beck. He gets all of his "real" news from the Blaze. He's better armed than many third world countries. I joke that he is to the left of me politically because he's gone so far to the right he's gone almost full circle.

All that said, he's a great father to my wife and a great grandfather to my kids.
 
My wife and I both were very blessed to have great relationships with our FILs&MILs. We were never buddies with either since both sets of parents were 40+yrs older than either of us, but always had great relationships with all of them. We lived within 5 minutes of her parents and 40 mins of mine so we saw each very often. Miss all of them but have plenty of fond memories of all of them.
 
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