Be careful when invited to a family or friend's barbecue
- Thread starter West Duval Nole
- Start date
Paging totally not tribe for best human rib bbq recipes.
62Nole
Seminole Insider
Any Western or Eastern Carolina style recipe should work. Most quotes I’ve seen about cannibalism says that human meat tastes similar to veal or pork chop just a little sweeter and a little more bitter. The Chinese, Polynesians and Southeast Asians in three completely different macro cultures all refer to human meat as “long pig” in their various languages (supposedly, I’m relying on google not my own etymology research so take this with a grain of salt).
So I’m thinking some pulled “pork” with red slaw sammy would be your best bet.
I bet this is why nobody complained at the time and most went back for seconds.
At first I thought this was a brilliant way to get rid of the evidence but then realized that when the meal was over she still had a bunch of bones to dispose of.
This chick really put the "Joe" in Sloppy Joe's...
It's only a crime if she boiled the ribs before she put 'em on the grill.
Modern human meat is probably super fatty with a chemical aftertaste. I had a case where a tenant at the client's apartment killed his girlfriend and then proceeded to get rid of the body by BBQing her on the porch (apartment was on the second floor). The flare-up were so bad that he caught the apartment building on fire. The poor first responders were not expecting to find a human's femur on the grill with the rest of the body in the bathtub. People are sick.
It was really terrible. I was just looking at my notes on the file, I had forgotten that he cooked her over a two day period while playing video games with a friend. Neighbors complained that the smell was so bad (like a lot of burned hair), the last day the flaring looked really bad - neighbor called fire department. Don't know if there was anything on the grill when they arrived -- that might have been my exaggeration.
He got 99 years in the pen and didn't have a rent'er policy to cover the damage to the apartment.
Gotta eat them at the Whistle Stop Café. IIRC, the investigator there thought it was the best bbq pork he'd ever tasted.
Hope she at least had the good sense of serving the liver with a side of fava beans and a glass of chianti.
I'm sure there's a point on the hotness scale where I'd at least consider indulging in some people-b-que, but she's really far from wherever that point is. Pass.
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