Thanks to you (and anyone else who may be a GAL) for being a GAL. We had a wonderful GAL when we were adopting our kids. She was very good at making sure that DCF did the right thing, and pushing them to terminate the parental rights of the biologicals.
Druggie SIL: Tales of an addict (long long long story)
- Thread starter dmm5157
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Thanks to you (and anyone else who may be a GAL) for being a GAL. We had a wonderful GAL when we were adopting our kids. She was very good at making sure that DCF did the right thing, and pushing them to terminate the parental rights of the biologicals.
@FSUATT We've had two very different experiences with GAL's. I can see how big of a help they can be.
Isabella has two GAL's: One in the county where she was born (Collier) and one in Leon County. The GAL's here have been pretty bad. Her main one down in Collier County has been great, but this is her first time being one and she gets a little lost in the process sometimes.
It's a tough gig and can be stressful, but we are grateful for her main GAL. she's fought for Isabella the whole way, which helps immensely.
Say "what"one more time. I used her name instead of her or she because it emphasizes that she is a living, breathing person and a victim. Using her name put's the emphasis on her.
I get the say "what" one more time time reference from Pulp Fiction but I am drawing blanks on the Chevy Chase reference.
Manch, I think that's his sig image. Hard to see, but it's below a light gray dashed line. Not a lot of people have signature images set yet with the new system.Say "what"one more time. I used her name instead of her or she because it emphasizes that she is a living, breathing person and a victim. Using her name put's the emphasis on her.
I get the say "what" one more time time reference from Pulp Fiction but I am drawing blanks on the Chevy Chase reference.
Desi....dude....brah....broseph....duderino.
WTF are you doing with your life???
Seems like just a few months ago you were posting about how your fiancee was a serious alcoholic and couldn't go to any social event without getting completely hammered drunk. Remember what your LR friends told you???
They told you to run far, far away from this chick and her addict family.
And here you are, a short time later, with 2 kids with this woman and you are completely enmeshed with her sick, twisted, dysfunctional family. Didn't you say her Mother is an alcoholic as well? If not, you said she was completely crazy. I can't keep track because of just how dysfunctional her family is.
And now your wife has convinced you to adopt her sister's meth baby? Are you seriously consenting to that?
Now, I don't want to insult this poor child. It's not her fault that her parents are degenerates. I wish the baby well and hope she has a great life. But I refuse to join the chorus of soccer Dads that say what a great job you are doing. What you are doing is setting yourself up for big, big trouble down the road. Are the buns that great? Is it worth all this trouble?
You realize, I'm sure, that this baby has a 90% chance of becoming an addict herself due to her genetics. In 15 years, you'll be posting how she pawned your car off without your consent so she could buy some blow. You are going to have to deal with SIL #2 FOREVER! Do you really want that???
My advice to you is to get a time machine, use it and never, ever get married. Unfortunately, we can't do that until technology catches up.
What I would do is get as far from this situation as possible. RUN. You are so enmeshed in this problem though, that I would consult a family attorney. But I'd still try to run.
You're around my age, early 30's. You only have 30, 40 years left before you are old and there's no turning back. Do you really want to spend the rest of your short life on this Earth dealing with addicts and their offspring?
RUN!!!
WTF are you doing with your life???
Seems like just a few months ago you were posting about how your fiancee was a serious alcoholic and couldn't go to any social event without getting completely hammered drunk. Remember what your LR friends told you???
They told you to run far, far away from this chick and her addict family.
And here you are, a short time later, with 2 kids with this woman and you are completely enmeshed with her sick, twisted, dysfunctional family. Didn't you say her Mother is an alcoholic as well? If not, you said she was completely crazy. I can't keep track because of just how dysfunctional her family is.
And now your wife has convinced you to adopt her sister's meth baby? Are you seriously consenting to that?
Now, I don't want to insult this poor child. It's not her fault that her parents are degenerates. I wish the baby well and hope she has a great life. But I refuse to join the chorus of soccer Dads that say what a great job you are doing. What you are doing is setting yourself up for big, big trouble down the road. Are the buns that great? Is it worth all this trouble?
You realize, I'm sure, that this baby has a 90% chance of becoming an addict herself due to her genetics. In 15 years, you'll be posting how she pawned your car off without your consent so she could buy some blow. You are going to have to deal with SIL #2 FOREVER! Do you really want that???
My advice to you is to get a time machine, use it and never, ever get married. Unfortunately, we can't do that until technology catches up.
What I would do is get as far from this situation as possible. RUN. You are so enmeshed in this problem though, that I would consult a family attorney. But I'd still try to run.
You're around my age, early 30's. You only have 30, 40 years left before you are old and there's no turning back. Do you really want to spend the rest of your short life on this Earth dealing with addicts and their offspring?
RUN!!!
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^^^. Good lord. He's in too deep at this point.
Yep. That's why I advise he see a family attorney. He's digging his own grave.
He also might want to change his name, move to another state and get plastic surgery so they can't find him.
Desi,
I have to echo everyone's comments on here. You and your wife should be commended for adopting that beautiful baby. It is wonderful that she will have a fighting chance due to parents like yourselves. Try and remember all the hard work is worth it.
I have to echo everyone's comments on here. You and your wife should be commended for adopting that beautiful baby. It is wonderful that she will have a fighting chance due to parents like yourselves. Try and remember all the hard work is worth it.
This is a point that I try to get across earlier, the girl will most likely have some psychological issues down the road, and if she becomes physically addicted to chemicals, then he might be looking at an 18 year old girl the same way he is looking at his SIL right now.
I did not know that his wife and MIL have addictions as well.
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Yep. Family passes down their addictions and problems from generation to generation. And then family enables each other because "it's family!" Such B.S.
I can't believe Desi's wife is still talking to SIL#2 after she STOLE her identity! Anyone that violates you like that must be cut out of your life FOREVER. I don't care if it's your Mother, Father or sister. Family should not get a pass. Toxic, negative criminals like that MUST be removed from your life and forgotten about.
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Whether or not the child "may" have issues with addiction , Desi and his wife did the correct and noble thing to give Isabella an opportunity to overcome any demons genetics might play in her life. Running or hiding from an issue is too prevalent in our society, bravo to those that try and affect the world in which they live.
Desi,
If you ever need to say terrible things to somebody because you are frustrated , my email is username at gmail, sometimes it is good to just let loose and I am more than willing to be that sounding board.
congratulations to you and your wife on Isabella you are obviously good people and I hope the best for your family
Desi,
If you ever need to say terrible things to somebody because you are frustrated , my email is username at gmail, sometimes it is good to just let loose and I am more than willing to be that sounding board.
congratulations to you and your wife on Isabella you are obviously good people and I hope the best for your family
Sure, addiction in families doesn't mean ALL family members are addicts, but it gives them a much greater chance of inheriting it. Many great achievers struggled with addiction but many more are currently in prison or in their graves. Most addicts will relapse at some point. Addiction is, many times, a fatal disease.
That being said, I don't see why Desi should subject himself to this dysfunction. Why should it be his problem? I think he should get far, far away from it and should live his own life free from it.
I am in no way saying he is doing the wrong thing, and I applaud him over and over, I was merely stating facts, that kids of addicts are more prone to be addicts themselves. And as I said before, I pray that Isabella hasn't had that gene passed down to her, because she is already at a disadvantage (and I am not stating anything different that he hasn't already heard from professional doctors and lawyers). I have educated myself on addiction as I have seen it rip my family to shreads and around the time of my divorce, I drank myself just about until the end (my DUI BAC was .34, five hours after my arrest).
Desi is unique for sure, because knowing what we know, a lot of people would not even think of doing what he is doing. He has a big heart, and that goes a long way in helping others heal.
Please don't confuse what I have said as being negative or that I think he is doing the wrong thing. I am just stating facts, facts that make what he is doing all the more remarkable and applauding.
Desi is unique for sure, because knowing what we know, a lot of people would not even think of doing what he is doing. He has a big heart, and that goes a long way in helping others heal.
Please don't confuse what I have said as being negative or that I think he is doing the wrong thing. I am just stating facts, facts that make what he is doing all the more remarkable and applauding.
Some brutal remarks in here. That said, I had no idea Mrs. Desi had some personal challenges - best wishes and good luck to all involved.
Miss a few days on the LR and some absurdity appears.
The stuff with my wife was 4 years ago. Our 6 year wedding anniversary is in 2 weeks. No issues since then.
As for my wife's family, while they're "crazy", who's family isn't? Love my MIL, she has her quirks but she has been a hugely supportive during the issues with Isabella. This whole situation has definitely unified the family, which helps a lot.
As for SIL#2, the last time my MIL spoke to her was in August and she told SIL#2 she was dead to her and she never wanted to see her again.
My wife and I have not and will not have any further contact with SIL#2 beyond anything court ordered.
No family is perfect, all you can do is try your best to give your kids the best life they can have and that's exactly how we will live life from here on out.
The stuff with my wife was 4 years ago. Our 6 year wedding anniversary is in 2 weeks. No issues since then.
As for my wife's family, while they're "crazy", who's family isn't? Love my MIL, she has her quirks but she has been a hugely supportive during the issues with Isabella. This whole situation has definitely unified the family, which helps a lot.
As for SIL#2, the last time my MIL spoke to her was in August and she told SIL#2 she was dead to her and she never wanted to see her again.
My wife and I have not and will not have any further contact with SIL#2 beyond anything court ordered.
No family is perfect, all you can do is try your best to give your kids the best life they can have and that's exactly how we will live life from here on out.
I would have run away from that situation like Peter Warrick against Lousiana Tech.
I mean this as sincerely as possible; Good luck. I wish you the best.
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Understood, I could certainly see that.
Life has been good, outside a few negative entities. One good thing about this situation is I'm much closer to SIL#1 and other in-laws that I didn't really speak with much previously. With bad can come good.
You and your wife get s lot of props. I don't think I could have done what you did. I will tell you that a friend of ours had similar issues with his wife. Addicted to drugs, alcohol and would mistreat/neglect his two daughters. He got custody but the state is doing anything and everything to give the wife years of chances. Note she routinely refuses drug tests ordered by the court. It is bizzaro. I'm all for people getting 2nd chances but sometimes the state has to realize keeping kids with their biological parents is not always the best option. Again kudos to you.
