Flirting vs Harassment

[Wendy79]

...just fired our site manager...and HR didn’t even flinch for a second. He left a single rose on a female employees windshield. She freaked...claimed stalking...went to security...pulled the video and he’s gone 2 days after the “rose ceremony”. She is in another building and they had spoken 10 words to each other prior.

An anonymous rose on her car is creepy if they've had very little interaction...it means he's paid enough attention to what she does/where she goes on site to know what she drove. I worked with the same people for years, talked to them every day, and still didn't know what most of them drove (out of maybe 50 cars on site). I don't know if firing him was the right call, but I'm also not surprised.

A friend (who is an HR manager) received flowers at work a couple weeks ago. "Hope these brighten your day, blah blah, from a secret admirer." Addressed to her with her Facebook name (first, maiden, and now ex-husband's last name, which she never actually goes by), at her work address, but the wrong company name (her small company A does some contract work with big company B in a different town 15 miles away...flowers had address of company A and name of company B). Anybody who knows her enough to warrant sending flowers knows address/name of company A and knows to address them to her first/married name. Flower shop said it was an internet order and they didn't have info on the sender.

Tl;dr: anonymous gifts are creepy

 

[bigloum]

Never look for honey where you make your money.

This is fantastic advice.

 

[bigloum]

An anonymous rose on her car is creepy
if they've had very little interaction...it means he's paid enough attention to what she does/where she goes on site to know what she drove. I worked with the same people for years, talked to them every day, and still didn't know what most of them drove (out of maybe 50 cars on site). I don't know if firing him was the right call, but I'm also not surprised.

A friend (who is an HR manager) received flowers at work a couple weeks ago. "Hope these brighten your day, blah blah, from a secret admirer." Addressed to her with her Facebook name (first, maiden, and now ex-husband's last name, which she never actually goes by), at her work address, but the wrong company name (her small company A does some contract work with big company B in a different town 15 miles away...flowers had address of company A and name of company B). Anybody who knows her enough to warrant sending flowers knows address/name of company A and knows to address them to her first/married name. Flower shop said it was an internet order and they didn't have info on the sender.

Tl;dr: anonymous gifts are creepy

That definitely is creepy.

 

[squiffynole]

I once had a top executive who happened to be female direct me to advise a female employee that her wardrobe was too revealing. Analyze that!

By the way I enjoy watching the cheerleaders if that is harassment then who is harassing who?

 

[Manch.]

You get some fresh tail last week?

Working on it. Babe!

 

[Wendy79]

I'll also add that the type of person who would leave an anonymous rose on a car in that situation strikes me as someone who has a fantasy narrative in his head ("she said hi to me, so she really likes me and we're going to get married...") and/or would get very angry when they were turned down.

 

[goldmom]

I'll also add that the type of person who would leave an anonymous rose on a car in that situation strikes me as someone who has a fantasy narrative in his head ("she said hi to me, so she really likes me and we're going to get married...") and/or would get very angry when they were turned down.

Eek. Creepy and scary!

 

[gunnyhiway]

if driving past your house with my lights off 75 times is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

 

[Bartdog]

Charlie's just being Charlie...

 

[RangerNole]

While I believe there are a bunch of problems with this type of behavior and men in general need to clean themselves up when it comes to this issue. I also believe the issue has been weaponized for political gain. Going back 20, 30 or 40 years and applying a standard set today is just not fair; especially when just the accusation is a career ender. Unfortunately this is how many things in our society go from being an issue all of us can agree on to something used as a tool to destroy people, cover up an action from the accuser etc.

 

[bigloum]

While I believe there are a bunch of problems with this type of behavior and men in general need to clean themselves up when it comes to this issue. I also believe the issue has been weaponized for political gain. Going back 20, 30 or 40 years and applying a standard set today is just not fair; especially when just the accusation is a career ender. Unfortunately this is how many things in our society go from being an issue all of us can agree on to something used as a tool to destroy people, cover up an action from the accuser etc.

Man, I can always count on you to deliver the goods.

 

[JohnnieHolmesNole]

While I believe there are a bunch of problems with this type of behavior and men in general need to clean themselves up when it comes to this issue. I also believe the issue has been weaponized for political gain. Going back 20, 30 or 40 years and applying a standard set today is just not fair; especially when just the accusation is a career ender. Unfortunately this is how many things in our society go from being an issue all of us can agree on to something used as a tool to destroy people, cover up an action from the accuser etc.

No question this is the “issue de jour,” and that it will soon be forgotten in favor of some other issue that creates more political or other traction.

 

[SoddyNole]

No question this is the “issue de jour,” and that it will soon be forgotten in favor of some other issue that creates more political or other traction.

Absolutely. Politics is just about getting a advantage over your rival to gather votes and not much in substance over that.

The bigger issue is with advancement in careers in a highly competitive market. Would a women make a false claim or mention an unsubstantiated rumor to get an advantage over another in a setting where the cooperate culture has become overly sensitive on this subject? It would be hard to imagine someone doing so but it is equally hard to imagine how poorly these men have acted in some in these stories of late. I am sure the usual suspects initial thought is the majority absolutely deserves to pay for the sins of the few and that is easy to say until it is your son or husband that is faced with this situation.

A pendulum swinging too far seems a bit too much for this discussion until you read about a therapist making a claim that clients are seeking help for this exact reason and the best we can do for their stress is advise them to take others medicine and ignore the bad taste.

 

[JohnnieHolmesNole]

Absolutely. Politics is just about getting a advantage over your rival to gather votes and not much in substance over that.

The bigger issue is with advancement in careers in a highly competitive market. Would a women make a false claim or mention an unsubstantiated rumor to get an advantage over another in a setting where the cooperate culture has become overly sensitive on this subject? It would be hard to imagine someone doing so but it is equally hard to imagine how poorly these men have acted in some in these stories of late. I am sure the usual suspects initial thought is the majority absolutely deserves to pay for the sins of the few and that is easy to say until it is your son or husband that is faced with this situation.

A pendulum swinging too far seems a bit too much for this discussion until you read about a therapist making a claim that clients are seeking help for this exact reason and the best we can do for their stress is advise them to take others medicine and ignore the bad taste.

The next “issue” will relate to sensitivity concerning those who have immigrated to the U.S. in the last 10 years. Pretty obvious explanation for that when you at demographics and voting trends. Book it.