Before getting engaged? Never been married personally and wondered how long you lovebirds waited before popping the question.
How long did you date your significant other?....
- Thread starter cornnoleio11
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We got together in September of '86. Married in July of '89. July 14, 1989.
Met in September. Married the following July. I knew she was the one 10 minutes after I met her.
About 10 months.
I knew she was the one as soon as she told me she was pregnant.
Just kidding.
Kind of. I don't think it changed the outcome, but it sure sped up the process.
I knew she was the one as soon as she told me she was pregnant.
Just kidding.
Kind of. I don't think it changed the outcome, but it sure sped up the process.
7 years from dating to married. 4 years of that were through college, though. Then we figured we better get adulting figured out, with jobs and all squared away, before we officially tied the knot. But we lived in sin through pretty much the whole time, so it wasn't that different.
Dated 4 years. Lived together for 3. Will be married next spring.
I've gravitated towards some older people at work for advice on marriage. Everything I've heard has been pretty consistent. Protect your assets (prenup) especially if you're coming from a second marriage with children. Have an account that she doesn't know about. When she's home with the kids waiting on you while you're out having dinner and drinks with clients make sure to bring her home dessert. Plus many other nice things but those were the big takeaways I think get overlooked quite a bit. Protect yourself from the unknown.
I've gravitated towards some older people at work for advice on marriage. Everything I've heard has been pretty consistent. Protect your assets (prenup) especially if you're coming from a second marriage with children. Have an account that she doesn't know about. When she's home with the kids waiting on you while you're out having dinner and drinks with clients make sure to bring her home dessert. Plus many other nice things but those were the big takeaways I think get overlooked quite a bit. Protect yourself from the unknown.
Married people gave you that advice? How many times have they been divorced?
Starting marriage with secrets seems like a great idea...
Dated for a month when I told her we were going to get married (she agreed), got married six months later, 14th anniversary in two weeks
I agree that everyone should have a little slush fund but cringe at the "account she doesn't know about."
My wife and I both have slush fund accounts (aside from our regular "no questions asked" accounts) but we're aware of their existences.
Guy #1 - Married 20+ years
Guy #2 - Married. Divorced w/ 1 child from first wife. Remarried and had child #2.
Of course they gave me the solid advice we all hear and should follow. But I think having a safety net and protecting your assets is a smart idea. Doesn't need to be a secret nor does it need to be talked about. 50% of marriages end in a divorce. Add kids to the equation with no safety net and a bad situation just got worse. You also shouldn't consider a 401k as your safety net like many people do.
You also shouldn't enter a marriage anticipating failure. Just don't get married if that's the attitude.
Only because of repeat losers dragging the average down. It's closer to 30% for first time marriages and if you both have a college degree it's about 17%. It's the second (56%), third (73%) and fourth+ (82%) marriages that you should avoid.
Dated for about 3.5 years before getting engaged, but were long distance at different colleges for about 2.5 years of that time. Married 21 years.
I have a lot of advice, but here's the most important. Pick a handful of issues that are absolute non-negotiable to you that are worth a fight. And on the other 90-95% just "yes dear." When you're single you're used to everything just being how you want it, and the immediate reaction is for every little thing to be a conflict because you think your way is better.
Don't fall into that trap. Do some serious soul searching...really, like take a weekend, and decide what things you really, truly care about...like certain parenting aspects, or how you need to engage with in-laws, or what's expected in the bedroom, or whatever, and let EVERYTHING else go. Let her have her way. You'll really be surprised, when you give it some thought, how little you really give an eff about.
If the list of things that are sacrosanct to you is long...then you are not ready to be married, or aren't a good candidate for marriage. Forget the idea of "but it's ok because we pretty much agree on almost everything." That's a myth...a mirage. It will never be that way.
Recipe for a happy life. Stop bickering about which side of the plate forks go on, or not liking the drapes, or which TV show to watch, or whether the lint trap should be emptied before or after you put the clothes in the drier. And a couple times a year when you do have to take a stand, she will know you're serious, and should respect it.
I'm not kidding. Ignore this advice at your own peril.
I have a lot of advice, but here's the most important. Pick a handful of issues that are absolute non-negotiable to you that are worth a fight. And on the other 90-95% just "yes dear." When you're single you're used to everything just being how you want it, and the immediate reaction is for every little thing to be a conflict because you think your way is better.
Don't fall into that trap. Do some serious soul searching...really, like take a weekend, and decide what things you really, truly care about...like certain parenting aspects, or how you need to engage with in-laws, or what's expected in the bedroom, or whatever, and let EVERYTHING else go. Let her have her way. You'll really be surprised, when you give it some thought, how little you really give an eff about.
If the list of things that are sacrosanct to you is long...then you are not ready to be married, or aren't a good candidate for marriage. Forget the idea of "but it's ok because we pretty much agree on almost everything." That's a myth...a mirage. It will never be that way.
Recipe for a happy life. Stop bickering about which side of the plate forks go on, or not liking the drapes, or which TV show to watch, or whether the lint trap should be emptied before or after you put the clothes in the drier. And a couple times a year when you do have to take a stand, she will know you're serious, and should respect it.
I'm not kidding. Ignore this advice at your own peril.
3.5 years together in college and got married three weeks after we finished at FSU and were married almost 35 years when he passed away.
Kind of hard to pinpoint when we started "dating", since we met when she was visiting the U.S. and there was no guarantee or expectation when she went home I'd ever actually see her again. That was April/May of '01. We kept in touch regularly and I visited her in late September of that year (weird traveling overseas two weeks after 9/11) and again in Feb. of '02. It was either on that visit or shortly after that she told me she wanted to move to the U.S. She got a visa by May and moved to the U.S. and in with me right on or around July 4th of '02. We got married a little less than two years later, May 29th, 2004. I think I knew she was the one for me the first "date" (after our initial drunken hook ups). Probably because she didn't speak English (at the time) and didn't expect to be pampered like a princess. I knew I'd better not lose that one.
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Dated almost two years, lived together about 6 months or so.
Had to make sure she could make it through two football seasons.
Had to make sure she could make it through two football seasons.
Started talking/dating when I was at the 2010 Peach Bowl. Married in September of 2013. First baby Thanksgiving 2016.
As for secret fund, I don't have one if those, but I do have a box of cash. If things ever got bad in our lives, I would spend that money in a second, but it is secret.
As for secret fund, I don't have one if those, but I do have a box of cash. If things ever got bad in our lives, I would spend that money in a second, but it is secret.
Thank you. God forbid something happens to me she will stumble upon a nice nugget she didn't know about.
Make sure you know that chick. Look at her family. She may be the "outlier," but if freaks and losers are in her immediate family tree, take note. Most of all of them came from the same batter. Check out the parents, carefully. They may be your actual or de facto roommates one day. Physical attraction to her is important, but make sure there is something deeper and more fundamental than that.
If the marriage is struggling, quickly get it fixed or quickly get out. Permanent alimony in Florida kicks in around the 13-16 year level (lots of variables). Don't kid yourselves: most women are VERY mindful of that.
Good luck. Good marriages are wonderful. Bad ones are living hells.
If the marriage is struggling, quickly get it fixed or quickly get out. Permanent alimony in Florida kicks in around the 13-16 year level (lots of variables). Don't kid yourselves: most women are VERY mindful of that.
Good luck. Good marriages are wonderful. Bad ones are living hells.
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