"Hypothetical" youth sports scenario

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Hard-fought U11 Competitive soccer semi-finals match; pretty physical game and both teams playing hard. The opposing team is 2 divisions ahead of your son's team and is talking trash the entire game.

The opposing team ends up winning and at the final whistle the opposing left back runs toward your right midfielder and your team's parents and from about 15 feet away does an exaggerated boo-hoo, rubbing his eyes fake-crying motion for about 3-4 seconds then laughs and runs off to celebrate with his team.

You've just observed the entire scene. What do you do, if anything?

 

[Gonolz]

Shoot him in the head.

Some people might think that is too much, but youth sports is serious business.

 

[BelemNole]

Personally I'd have a word with the coach about the lack of sportsmanship. I nearly did that last month at my son's basketball game when the other team was celebrating hard fouls. 10 year olds and the game was out of reach, they were just putting licks on kids and thought it was funny.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[InjunJoe]

Nothing. Life is not fare and there are tools everywhere. Teaching you kid to be concerned about the things he can control and ignore the rest with class will be a lesson that will stand him in good stead. The poor sport is really no worth you time or energy.

 

[PoopandBoogers]

Played comp soccer myself. You as an adult, do nothing but watch leadership emerge.

RMFr shoulda stepped up with a hard shoulder and the sweeper come in with a hard foul behind. Even at that young of age, dominant tactics are required.
More for the parents then the opponents if you catch my drift.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

During a game I don't disagree with you Poop, but this was after the final whistle.

 

[PoopandBoogers]

I should also add to that- after the game and even older into high school sports, the team vs team bs starts and stops after a pick up game or keg party. The best high school parties I went to were in enemy territory and you heard people talk shit as you walked up to the fire, then handed you a beer and said, "eff you, here's one of our beers".

Believe it or not, we knew the names of each other from a young age, and it came from skinny fists and bloody shins. Not from a coach on the sidelines.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[Naught-Nole-Buc]

I've experienced antics like that as a coach and what I've done is: when the teams go through and do post game lineup handshakes, I locate the kid... shake is hand... put a hand in his shoulder and tell him "great game, you played well and have such great potential to be a star... but those antics, you're better than that and that was extremely disappointing to see from a player like you" (regardless if they were any good or not). It gets them every single time and I always get a sincere apology.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[kc78]

I'd probably have a word with the coach and possibly the league but drop it at that. I'd then have a talk with my child about sportsmanship and how that is not how you act. Use it as a teaching moment for your child rather than getting too worked up about it.

 

[SeaPA]

Should've taken a photo of the kid to remember him for next time, when you make sure he gets taken out early with a slide from behind.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Originally posted by PoopandBoogers:
Played comp soccer myself. You as an adult, do nothing but watch leadership emerge.

RMFr shoulda stepped up with a hard shoulder and the sweeper come in with a hard foul behind. Even at that young of age, dominant tactics are required.
More for the parents then the opponents if you catch my drift.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

Gotta agree with this. Should have been in the make-up of the kids on the losing team to have enough pride in themselves and their team to step up and put that kid on his back.

 

[BassinNole]

See if his mom is a single mom. If so game on....

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Originally posted by NDallasRuss:

Originally posted by PoopandBoogers:
Played comp soccer myself. You as an adult, do nothing but watch leadership emerge.

RMFr shoulda stepped up with a hard shoulder and the sweeper come in with a hard foul behind. Even at that young of age, dominant tactics are required.
More for the parents then the opponents if you catch my drift.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

Gotta agree with this. Should have been in the make-up of the kids on the losing team to have enough pride in themselves and their team to step up and put that kid on his back.

Huh? Like I said to Poop, this was after the game. They are aware of how to give hard fouls during play but there was no opportunity as the game was over.

Are you guys suggesting the players should've jumped him on the way to the parking lot or something?

 

[SeaPA]

Originally posted by BassinNole:
See if his mom is a single mom. If so game on....

No, would be much better if mom is married. Then he could hit it, wreck the kid's family/home life, and do the boo hoo sign to both the miserable kid and the dad who hasn't raised him right.

 

[GwinnettNole]

U11? Wow so the kids were being pricks at 9 and 10 years old? Kids learn from their parents...
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[Fijimn]

Gotta agree with this. Should have been in the make-up of the kids on the losing team to have enough pride in themselves and their team to step up and put that kid on his back.

Huh? Like I said to Poop, this was after the game. They are aware of how to give hard fouls during play but there was no opportunity as the game was over.

Are you guys suggesting the players should've jumped him on the way to the parking lot or something?

Reading comprehension is not a strong skill in LR--unlike sub-4.5 40 times and dominance in high school sports (but just decided not to pursue sports in college because tagging to may LR dimes).

I would suggest that there was really nothing could be done to the future Affliction-wearing softball-field-lurker douche. I wouldn't even say anything to the other coach. Just tell the team that you should act like you have been there before and, if the team doesn't like this feeling or the antics of a future Gator-mullet-sporting-jort-wearing douche let's practice harder and win next time.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Originally posted by Fijimn:

Gotta agree with this. Should have been in the make-up of the kids on the losing team to have enough pride in themselves and their team to step up and put that kid on his back.

Huh? Like I said to Poop, this was after the game. They are aware of how to give hard fouls during play but there was no opportunity as the game was over.

Are you guys suggesting the players should've jumped him on the way to the parking lot or something?

Reading comprehension is not a strong skill in LR--unlike sub-4.5 40 times and dominance in high school sports (but just decided not to pursue sports in college because tagging to may LR dimes).

I would suggest that there was really nothing could be done to the future Affliction-wearing softball-field-lurker douche. I wouldn't even say anything to the other coach. Just tell the team that you should act like you have been there before and, if the team doesn't like this feeling or the antics of a future Gator-mullet-sporting-jort-wearing douche let's practice harder and win next time.

That's the message our coach gave to the players last night at practice.

As for what I did, I was walking over to the other side of the field and was going to mention it to their coach, but on the way over there saw the boy and either his dad or grandfather (probably in his late 50s) walking with him with his hand on his shoulder.

I asked if I could talk to them for a second, squatted down and told them it was a hard-fought game and lots of battling but there was no reason for what he did after the game, especially since they won the game. The Dad/Grandad asked him "what did you do?" and he said nothing, and I said so that wasn't you over on the sidelines after the game making the crying face? The Dad/Grandad again asked him "Did you do that?" then the kid admitted he did but that he was doing it to the parents. I said, not sure that makes it any better but you can deal with it however you choose to. Have a good day, guys. The whole exchange took less than 30 seconds.

Now the other club has formally complained and I have to respond in some manner or other. This country is going to hell with all these entitled brats.

 

[seminoledq]

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

Originally posted by NDallasRuss:

Originally posted by PoopandBoogers:
Played comp soccer myself. You as an adult, do nothing but watch leadership emerge.

RMFr shoulda stepped up with a hard shoulder and the sweeper come in with a hard foul behind. Even at that young of age, dominant tactics are required.
More for the parents then the opponents if you catch my drift.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

Gotta agree with this. Should have been in the make-up of the kids on the losing team to have enough pride in themselves and their team to step up and put that kid on his back.

Huh? Like I said to Poop, this was after the game. They are aware of how to give hard fouls during play but there was no opportunity as the game was over.

Are you guys suggesting the players should've jumped him on the way to the parking lot or something?

YES!

 

[NDallasRuss]

Originally posted by Fijimn:

Gotta agree with this. Should have been in the make-up of the kids on the losing team to have enough pride in themselves and their team to step up and put that kid on his back.

Huh? Like I said to Poop, this was after the game. They are aware of how to give hard fouls during play but there was no opportunity as the game was over.

Are you guys suggesting the players should've jumped him on the way to the parking lot or something?

Reading comprehension is not a strong skill in LR--unlike sub-4.5 40 times and dominance in high school sports (but just decided not to pursue sports in college because tagging to may LR dimes).

I would suggest that there was really nothing could be done to the future Affliction-wearing softball-field-lurker douche. I wouldn't even say anything to the other coach. Just tell the team that you should act like you have been there before and, if the team doesn't like this feeling or the antics of a future Gator-mullet-sporting-jort-wearing douche let's practice harder and win next time.

I'm not sure why you're questioning my reading comprehension.

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

...at the final whistle the opposing left back runs toward your right midfielder and your team's parents...

There's the opportunity for the kids on the losing team to put an end to the bullsh!t.

Seems to me like the right midfielder got punked and let it slide.

There's more than one lesson that could be learned. Sportsmanship is a good one, but so is learning to stand up for yourself and your teammates.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Originally posted by NDallasRuss:

Originally posted by Fijimn:

Gotta agree with this. Should have been in the make-up of the kids on the losing team to have enough pride in themselves and their team to step up and put that kid on his back.

Huh? Like I said to Poop, this was after the game. They are aware of how to give hard fouls during play but there was no opportunity as the game was over.

Are you guys suggesting the players should've jumped him on the way to the parking lot or something?

Reading comprehension is not a strong skill in LR--unlike sub-4.5 40 times and dominance in high school sports (but just decided not to pursue sports in college because tagging to may LR dimes).

I would suggest that there was really nothing could be done to the future Affliction-wearing softball-field-lurker douche. I wouldn't even say anything to the other coach. Just tell the team that you should act like you have been there before and, if the team doesn't like this feeling or the antics of a future Gator-mullet-sporting-jort-wearing douche let's practice harder and win next time.

I'm not sure why you're questioning my reading comprehension.

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

...at the final whistle the opposing left back runs toward your right midfielder and your team's parents...

There's the opportunity for the kids on the losing team to put an end to the bullsh!t.

Seems to me like the right midfielder got punked and let it slide.

There's more than one lesson that could be learned. Sportsmanship is a good one, but so is learning to stand up for yourself and your teammates.

I think you are misunderstanding the scenario. The game was over. The two players were near each other, on an island near the right side of the field with nobody within 20 yards of them. Not even close to possible to get away with something like you suggest. If our MF had physically gone after the player after the game is over I think there's a 99.999% chance he is kicked off of the team and probably out of youth soccer anywhere in the state.

 

[BelemNole]

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

Originally posted by Fijimn:

Gotta agree with this. Should have been in the make-up of the kids on the losing team to have enough pride in themselves and their team to step up and put that kid on his back.

Huh? Like I said to Poop, this was after the game. They are aware of how to give hard fouls during play but there was no opportunity as the game was over.

Are you guys suggesting the players should've jumped him on the way to the parking lot or something?

Reading comprehension is not a strong skill in LR--unlike sub-4.5 40 times and dominance in high school sports (but just decided not to pursue sports in college because tagging to may LR dimes).

I would suggest that there was really nothing could be done to the future Affliction-wearing softball-field-lurker douche. I wouldn't even say anything to the other coach. Just tell the team that you should act like you have been there before and, if the team doesn't like this feeling or the antics of a future Gator-mullet-sporting-jort-wearing douche let's practice harder and win next time.

That's the message our coach gave to the players last night at practice.

As for what I did, I was walking over to the other side of the field and was going to mention it to their coach, but on the way over there saw the boy and either his dad or grandfather (probably in his late 50s) walking with him with his hand on his shoulder.

I asked if I could talk to them for a second, squatted down and told them it was a hard-fought game and lots of battling but there was no reason for what he did after the game, especially since they won the game. The Dad/Grandad asked him "what did you do?" and he said nothing, and I said so that wasn't you over on the sidelines after the game making the crying face? The Dad/Grandad again asked him "Did you do that?" then the kid admitted he did but that he was doing it to the parents. I said, not sure that makes it any better but you can deal with it however you choose to. Have a good day, guys. The whole exchange took less than 30 seconds.

Now the other club has formally complained and I have to respond in some manner or other. This country is going to hell with all these entitled brats.

You have to respond? Respond with "teaching sportsmanship should one of the main goals of the league, since the coach clearly failed to do it I felt the need to step in. If you need any further help on the issue please feel free to contact me."

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Yep, Belem. And I had the same idea.

It's right there on the club's webpage. "Sportsmanship...Values...Respect..." Coming right back at them.

 

[Lemon Thrower]

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:
Now the other club has formally complained and I have to respond in some manner or other. This country is going to hell with all these entitled brats.

i guess the kids parents are Party members, comrade.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Edited to keep my opinions to myself. I hope that your response to the league resolves the situation, and that the bratty kid in questions meets someone who corrects his course at some point.
This post was edited on 3/24 12:59 PM by NDallasRuss

 

[hav2bme]

I am a U10 soccer coach, in our league, every player, parent and coach signs a code of conduct "contract". I would have mentioned the players conduct to the opposing coach and let him handle it. I would also speak to the league director about the referee letting the game become so physical. That is where the trouble begins.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Originally posted by hav2bme:
I am a U10 soccer coach, in our league, every player, parent and coach signs a code of conduct "contract". I would have mentioned the players conduct to the opposing coach and let him handle it. I would also speak to the league director about the referee letting the game become so physical. That is where the trouble begins.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

Yeah, that's where I was going initially. In hindsight, I should've just kept walking and spoken to the coach instead of the player and his dad/grandfather. I guess I just thought the parent would want to know. I wouldn't mind a bit if a parent from an opposing team told us my son had pulled crap like that, especially if he admitted it on the spot. My mistake was forgetting there are a lot of parents think their little angels can do no wrong.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Originally posted by NDallasRuss:
I think I understand the situation accurately. The MF and his parents are walking off the field. The other player runs over, makes the crying face at the MF and his parents, and no one really stopped him or put an end to it.

I'm not suggesting that the MF should have put the kid in the hospital, but I've got to think he could have at least chased him off without being kicked out of the league and possibly the state. Of course, from reading the other post where it seems like you're going to have to apologize for calling the kid a bad sport, maybe I'm wrong.

Not quite...game was just over. This was 2 seconds after the final whistle. Nobody but players and refs on the field. And the linesman was 20 feet away but heading towards midfield so didn't see it.

 

[LT4PLY]

You wanna see crazy then watch Peter Boulware coach the 5-7 year old pop warner team. I've never lost more respect for a person so quickly in my life.

Youth sports is full of bat @#$% crazy parents.

 

[SeaPA]

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

Originally posted by hav2bme:
I am a U10 soccer coach, in our league, every player, parent and coach signs a code of conduct "contract". I would have mentioned the players conduct to the opposing coach and let him handle it. I would also speak to the league director about the referee letting the game become so physical. That is where the trouble begins.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

Yeah, that's where I was going initially. In hindsight, I should've just kept walking and spoken to the coach instead of the player and his dad/grandfather. I guess I just thought the parent would want to know. I wouldn't mind a bit if a parent from an opposing team told us my son had pulled crap like that, especially if he admitted it on the spot. My mistake was forgetting there are a lot of parents think their little angels can do no wrong.

Out of all of them, I'm not sure which I think is the worst - the bratty kid who instigated everything; the kid's dad/granddad, who obviously went & whined to his kid's coach over being told about his son's poor behavior; or the other coach, who obviously went to the League over the incident.

I doubt I'd be worried about having to go to the board to defend myself if I were in your shoes, as long as you did handle it in the way indicated. Simply tell them what the kid did at the end of the game & that you'd intended to say something about it to the other coach, but that before you met up with him you saw the kid & his dad so just mentioned it to them. Maybe add in something along the lines of, "if my own son had done something similar, I would most definitely want to know about it so I can correct him." Then tell them that you don't have time to stick around & discuss the silliness, because you have a date to bang the little bastage's mom.

 

[smhnole]

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

then the kid admitted he did but that he was doing it to the parents.

So after hearing that the kid said he did this towards the parents and rereading everything you've written here, it seems somewhat plausible that the parents of your kid's team (and likely you) were doing quite a bit of complaining during the game and it has carried over to here.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Originally posted by smhnole:

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

then the kid admitted he did but that he was doing it to the parents.

So after hearing that the kid said he did this towards the parents and rereading everything you've written here, it seems somewhat plausible that the parents of your kid's team (and likely you) were doing quite a bit of complaining during the game and it has carried over to here.

Nah, I'm the silent one at games. The refs in most of these games are teenagers and they do the best they can, and often do a great job. No complaints about the officiating in this particular game. And the leagues here will not tolerate parents yelling at referees or especially players. Just not acceptable.

But good attempt at stirring things up.

 

[travnole]

What was the dad/granddad's response when the kid admitted it to doing it?

Were other parents over the top in their whining?

Something isn't adding up.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Originally posted by travnole:
What was the dad/granddad's response when the kid admitted it to doing it?

Were other parents over the top in their whining?

Something isn't adding up.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

He asked him "So you were doing it to the parents?" and I just said, well, not sure that's any better but you can handle it
however you want Have a good day guys.
And then walked away.

I don't believe either team's parents were out of line one bit. Just your typical cheering and such. There were no incidents, it was a well-called game and they were excited to come back and get the win. I think that's why it seemed so inappropriate under the circumstances.

 

[Manch.]

This stuff happens all the time, you handled it well. The only thing that you can really do is hope that this kid gets to play against Liverpool captains, Steven Gerrard or Martin Skrtel, and gets his ass (or his legs) stomped on!

And believe me, if this kid keeps acting like this, it won't be long before the kid gets destroyed in a game and the parents of the opposing team will cheer the hit (indoor is a great place for retaliation).

 

[northside_hawk]

Grew up with this kid playing soccer at a young age and we were always on rival teams and played directly across from each other in the MF position. We hated each other and constantly fought and taunted each other on the field and this continued when we went to cross town high schools. Final game against them senior year we beat them in PKs (actually to win the conference) and after the game we shook hands, congratulated each other and both said no hard feelings from anything over the years. Every time we run into each other out downtown we always buy each other beers and talk about the good ol days. It was fun stuff and sometimes nice bonds can be developed through rivalry and good ol fashioned trash talk. Really makes you respect someone, especially if they can back it up.

Don't get me wrong though, there can be a line drawn. In this situation, f it...move on and put him on his a## next time.

 

[SoddyNole]

Hard fought game can and will get very physical. Refs can be very young or inexperienced and have a hard time handling these types of games. Parents feel the need to "help" the ref out especially after a player gets knocked down, most have been guilty of this at sometime. As the game continues some parents will shift their focus from the ref to an aggressive player. You don't have to see too many soccer games to see this occur. My kids play year around and have watched this has occurred many times including last weekend. While I have never seen a kid taunt parents like in this case, I have kids defend themselves vs a parent's random comment around the U13 age.

My point is there may be several issues that need to be addressed here.

 

[smhnole]

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

Originally posted by smhnole:

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:


then the kid admitted he did but that he was doing it to the parents.

So after hearing that the kid said he did this towards the parents and rereading everything you've written here, it seems somewhat plausible that the parents of your kid's team (and likely you) were doing quite a bit of complaining during the game and it has carried over to here.

Nah, I'm the silent one at games. The refs in most of these games are teenagers and they do the best they can, and often do a great job. No complaints about the officiating in this particular game. And the leagues here will not tolerate parents yelling at referees or especially players. Just not acceptable.

But good attempt at stirring things up.

So why would a kid choose that particular gesture to make towards players and parents if there was no precursor for his actions?

You personally talking to the kid was the absolute incorrect thing to do in this instance (or any) and you should be called out for it by the league. Any issues you had should have been addressed to your coach or the league officials.

Let's keep in mind the bigger picture here, an under 11 year old has made you so upset that your actions have required the league to elicited a response from you and you creating a thread here in hopes to make yourself feel better about your actions.

There is no attempt to stir anything up. Just calling it how I can see it actually going down. And even if that is wrong, you approaching the kid was absolutely the incorrect thing to do, which is an opinion that you requested.

 

[SoddyNole]

Originally posted by Formerly Rockymtnole:

Originally posted by travnole:
What was the dad/granddad's response when the kid admitted it to doing it?

Were other parents over the top in their whining?

Something isn't adding up.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

He asked him "So you were doing it to the parents?" and I just said, well, not sure that's any better but you can handle it
however you want Have a good day guys.
And then walked away.

I don't believe either team's parents were out of line one bit. Just your typical cheering and such. There were no incidents, it was a well-called game and they were excited to come back and get the win. I think that's why it seemed so inappropriate under the circumstances.

The kid was playing close to the sideline. Something could have easily been said in all the excitement that you did not hear. Probably been wise to ask the assistant ref if he heard anything first and then discuss it with your coach and leave it at that.