Washington State QB - apparent suicide

[TennNole17]

didnt see this posted here. Pretty tragic.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/spor...tate-qb-tyler-hilinski-found-dead/1039167001/

 

[DFSNOLE]

By all accounts, he was a very well liked kid. I guess you never know the demons one carries inside.

 

[PoopandBoogers]

Sad. This kid probably had a better life than 99.9% of the people to have ever lived on the planet since the dawn of time. What could have possibly been so bad in his life to do this. Had to be some sort of mental illness right?

 

[GwinnettNole]

It sounded like it’s depression; I wonder if CTE played a part?

 

[Nolomite]

Some of the "young Hollywood types" surprise us with suicides - we see the advantaged life, we don't see the history of drug addiction, financial mess, sex stuff, and other significant departures from what we (the rest of us) see as "normal". Look at Wyatt Sexton - one year we all wished we'd been him when we were 20, now none of us would trade for his "punchline" life.

For a college QB to not see a future for himself at the tender age of 21 is startling, but not certainly not unprecedented. We may never find out what was going on with him, but assume there was something terrible.

 

[cmanole]

Tragic but like I said in the Petty post, my first thought is what was he on and how long was he taking it? My guess is an SSRI. When they turn on you people get suicidal idealization big time...

 

[sunset30a]

Sad. This kid probably had a better life than 99.9% of the people to have ever lived on the planet since the dawn of time. What could have possibly been so bad in his life to do this. Had to be some sort of mental illness right?

What about his life makes you think it was that great? That he was a backup qb for Wash State?

 

[Nolomite]

What about his life makes you think it was that great? That he was a backup qb for Wash State?

That IS a great place to start...

 

[seminole97]

What about his life makes you think it was that great?

I didn't read that his life was 'great', but that he "probably had a better life than 99.9% of the people to have ever lived on the planet since the dawn of time."

Growing up in the 21st century as a white kid with running water in California probably puts you ahead of most lives ever lived 'since the dawn of time'.
Do you think OP should have gone with 99.8% instead?

 

[Manch.]

The fact that he had been probably so successful in everything that he's ever done, any mental illness that he might have had, including severe depression, might have been overlooked or ignored.

I can picture him walking around, his head in a different place, and a parent, coach, friend, teacher/professor asking him "what's wrong, why the long face?" and he replies "I don't know, I'm just depressed" and person A replies back "why are you depressed, you have everything that 99.9% don't have". And the issue remains untreated in his head.

My point is, even successful people have uncontrollable, if not treated, mental illnesses. And of course, I have no idea why he did this... girl..drugs..depression, stress

 

[PoopandBoogers]

I didn't read that his life was 'great', but that he "probably had a better life than 99.9% of the people to have ever lived on the planet since the dawn of time."

Growing up in the 21st century as a white kid with running water in California probably puts you ahead of most lives ever lived 'since the dawn of time'.
Do you think OP should have gone with 99.8% instead?

Thank you and exactly my point. Life probably wasnt that good for little Gub Gub growing up eating rocks and fighting people for food in Pangea or other times during the middle ages, Egyptian or Mongolian empires, or Industrial Revolution. He had machines that washed his clothes, flew him around the world to vacation, handheld devices that he can communicate and entertain with, order prepaired food, bottled water, buy clothes, free education in a major college with hot women and plenty of good friends and hundreds of thousands of fans that cheered him on for playing a game and throwing a ball good. Its tragic that he felt he needed to end a life that so many of his ancestors probably severely struggled for to get him here from beginning of human exisitence. Whatever it was probably wouldnt have been that big of deal in a yr or 2. Counseling or medication might have helped, maybe not.

It just seems tragic cause he had advantages to life more than most and something so terrible was in his thoughts that he felt he had to end it.

 

[sunset30a]

What about his life makes you think it was that great? That he was a backup qb for Wash State?

Missed the dawn of time part, just didn't see how his life could be assumed to be better than the general population, especially without knowing anything about his life. Comparing ones life to a caveman might make that person feel fortunate I guess.

 

[Nolomite]

Missed the dawn of time part, just didn't see how his life could be assumed to be better than the general population, especially without knowing anything about his life. Comparing ones life to a caveman might make that person feel fortunate I guess.

Which "general population" are you speaking of? The population that does not get university-paid tuition, housing, books, a laundry allowance, and infinite medical care?

Yah, just an average kid (that, as a proficient QB, has been getting laid consistently since he was about 15). Living a life that millions of other kids can only dream about.

Could you be any more obtuse?

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

I doubt people who commit suicide are doing so after rationally contemplating the positives in their lives. Many people struggle with thoughts that the rest of us luckily can't begin to comprehend. I don't think it's possible to truly understand the "why" unless you've been there yourself.

 

[sunset30a]

Which "general population" are you speaking of? The population that does not get university-paid tuition, housing, books, a laundry allowance, and infinite medical care?

Yah, just an average kid (that, as a proficient QB, has been getting laid consistently since he was about 15). Living a life that millions of other kids can only dream about.

Could you be any more obtuse?

You know nothing about him and declare him to have a better life than 99.9 percent of everyone that's lived on the planet? I've got a few words for you but don't want to get banned for picking on the mentally challenged.

 

[billanole]

You know nothing about him and declare him to have a better life than 99.9 percent of everyone that's lived on the planet? I've got a few words for you but don't want to get banned for picking on the mentally challenged.

You know nothing about him and declare him to have a better life than 99.9 percent of everyone that's lived on the planet? I've got a few words for you but don't want to get banned for picking on the mentally challenged.

My gosh, sunset. Every human born in the US this century qualifies for the 99.9 percent category. Have you ever known of a person with no access to water, food, or shelter? Enslaved, sacrificed, lineage wiped out?
Privilege, party of many is the credo for today’s American.

 

[Nolomite]

You know nothing about him and declare him to have a better life than 99.9 percent of everyone that's lived on the planet? I've got a few words for you but don't want to get banned for picking on the mentally challenged.

Isn't that what you have just attempted to do?

I know he was a scholarship QB at a D1 program that had some hero moments in 2017 and was expected to be the starter in 2018...start your analysis there.

 

[Random_John]

Is this about conversation more about the guy who sadly committed suicide or is it about reasons people feel they wouldn't have committed suicide because American privilege?

The man was struggling with something. Heck, he probably really liked the fact that gub gub lived. The man probably appreciated running water, the internet, and fast food. Good for him. Those things don't seem to have been the problem unless he was pushed into it when he didn't want to go that route.

There is so much that it could have been that we will never understand. Just because we don't understand why he did it doesn't make us right or wrong in our assumptions. Something bad happened. His family suffers. We'll never know why.

 

[OrlandNole]

Sad. This kid probably had a better life than 99.9% of the people to have ever lived on the planet since the dawn of time. What could have possibly been so bad in his life to do this. Had to be some sort of mental illness right?

I think you guys are missing the point of this post. Mental illness can can create such disillusionment that someone would end their own life in spite of what would otherwise seem like a great situation.

 

[PoopandBoogers]

I think you guys are missing the point of this post. Mental illness can can create such disillusionment that someone would end their own life in spite of what would otherwise seem like a great situation.

Absolutely. Maybe my point didn't come off like that, but I find it tragic that he felt he needed to kill himself despite of his situation in life. To the outside he had it made, internally quite the opposite.

 

[kc78]

depression doesn't care how wealthy you are, what color your skin is, or your gender, or your place of origin. Depression is a legitimate mental disease that exists across all classful boundaries. That we continue to think they should have just appreciated what they had completely misses the underlying issue that leads to it.

 

[PoopandBoogers]

Nobody is insuating that he should have just appreciated what he had. The point is that despite his advantages, his internal life was so bad that he needed to end it. That's tragic. I think everyone is agreeing at some point that depression and suicide isn't a rational decision except to the individual commiting it. It's like when two old men bicker for the sake of arguing with each other, when their arguments actually agree with each other.

 

[kc78]

Yes, my concern is that when we phrase it with things like "How could he do that, look at all he had" and the like that others in similar situations just feel more broken and more messed up and more likely to give in.

We need to completely recognize that it is a debilitating disease as much as cancer is a disease. We'd never say to someone "Man, it's such a shame they had to die from that cancer, look at everything they had" because that would be ridiculous, but because we don't understand how depression works, we say similar things and it makes those suffering simply pull even further away out of fear of judgment.

I've dealt with major depression although I did have some family and an amazing therapist intervene before I got too far down the suicidal road. But everytime someone said things like that, told me to just quit moping, to choose to be happy, that I was just selfish or the like it just made me worse and made me climb even further inside myself and to hide which made the depression worse.

Depression is a disease and you can't just choose to get out of it. It's actually worse when you look around and recognize how good your life is, but you still can't get out. When I had major issues in my life that could actually be conquered I tended to be able to overcome the depression because I had real things to fight and overcome and I felt in control. However once I had knocked those out of the way and realized that the only thing wrong with me was me, it sent me into what could have been a death spiral. Suddenly I realized that the only thing making me hurt so much was myself and nothing I tried seemed to get me out, and the only way I knew to stop hurting was to kill the thing causing me to hurt.

So my complaint in the way we talk about depression is that we ever bring up how great someone has it at all, because that only makes it worse, at least in my opinion. Instead we simply need to tell people that they are loved, to reach out to friends and family and ask for help, and to please go find a good therapist, and if that one isn't working for you after a few months to try another, and keep trying because eventually you'll find someone who can help you.

 

[divinnole]

Some of the "young Hollywood types" surprise us with suicides - we see the advantaged life, we don't see the history of drug addiction, financial mess, sex stuff, and other significant departures from what we (the rest of us) see as "normal". Look at Wyatt Sexton - one year we all wished we'd been him when we were 20, now none of us would trade for his "punchline" life.

For a college QB to not see a future for himself at the tender age of 21 is startling, but not certainly not unprecedented. We may never find out what was going on with him, but assume there was something terrible.

What has happened with WS? I know he had some issues after leaving FSU but have not heard anything since soon after he left.

 

[goldmom]

Yes, my concern is that when we phrase it with things like "How could he do that, look at all he had" and the like that others in similar situations just feel more broken and more messed up and more likely to give in.

We need to completely recognize that it is a debilitating disease as much as cancer is a disease. We'd never say to someone "Man, it's such a shame they had to die from that cancer, look at everything they had" because that would be ridiculous, but because we don't understand how depression works, we say similar things and it makes those suffering simply pull even further away out of fear of judgment.

I've dealt with major depression although I did have some family and an amazing therapist intervene before I got too far down the suicidal road. But everytime someone said things like that, told me to just quit moping, to choose to be happy, that I was just selfish or the like it just made me worse and made me climb even further inside myself and to hide which made the depression worse.

Depression is a disease and you can't just choose to get out of it. It's actually worse when you look around and recognize how good your life is, but you still can't get out. When I had major issues in my life that could actually be conquered I tended to be able to overcome the depression because I had real things to fight and overcome and I felt in control. However once I had knocked those out of the way and realized that the only thing wrong with me was me, it sent me into what could have been a death spiral. Suddenly I realized that the only thing making me hurt so much was myself and nothing I tried seemed to get me out, and the only way I knew to stop hurting was to kill the thing causing me to hurt.

So my complaint in the way we talk about depression is that we ever bring up how great someone has it at all, because that only makes it worse, at least in my opinion. Instead we simply need to tell people that they are loved, to reach out to friends and family and ask for help, and to please go find a good therapist, and if that one isn't working for you after a few months to try another, and keep trying because eventually you'll find someone who can help you.

My gosh KC, what a great post and you're pretty dang awesome for sharing this. So glad you found someone who can help you.

 

[PoopandBoogers]

I appeciate how this thread is evolving. As someone who doesn't understand this at all, especially at a professional level, how would medication vs counseling be diagnosed or treated differently? Both at the same time? Are there differences? I understand that it should be by a case by case basis, but there has to be different categories that might suggest different treatments, right?