What's the best way to avoid going to a wedding?

[Lurker1999]

Do you enjoy going to weddings?

I have a distant cousin that is getting married about an hour away on an October Saturday. I desperately don't want to go.

I find weddings to be expensive and long and dull. It should be illegal to have them on a football weekend. I'd rather go to a funeral.

I enjoy getting invited to destination weddings because then I can just turn them down and say the travel is too much.

What is your go-to excuse to get out of a wedding?

 

[BelemNole]

Just be you.

 

[Lurker1999]

Just be you.

I always am...that's why I keep getting wedding invites...

 

[ggmike1992]

Don’t go.

 

[KitingHigh]

Do you enjoy going to weddings?

I have a distant cousin that is getting married about an hour away on an October Saturday. I desperately don't want to go.

I find weddings to be expensive and long and dull. It should be illegal to have them on a football weekend. I'd rather go to a funeral.

I enjoy getting invited to destination weddings because then I can just turn them down and say the travel is too much.

What is your go-to excuse to get out of a wedding?

I've been to three football Saturday weddings. Two of them, I literally watched the ceremony, said congrats and left before the reception. The other one was my brother in law and my wife wouldn't let me out of it. So I got a walkman radio (Pre smart phone days) and sat at the table with beer and listened to the game.

It's just rude to have your wedding on a fall Saturday in the South. If you schedule it then, you don't really deserve guests.

 

[NDallasRuss]

If you don't want to go, don't go. It's one of the perks of being grown up.

I get that there are some - like a brother in law - that you're better off going to, but this distant cousin doesn't sound like one of those.

Just respond back thanking them for the invitation and saying that you won't be able to attend. Send a gift, since that's all they really want anyway.

 

[Lurker1999]

If you don't want to go, don't go. It's one of the perks of being grown up.

I get that there are some - like a brother in law - that you're better off going to, but this distant cousin doesn't sound like one of those.

Just respond back thanking them for the invitation and saying that you won't be able to attend. Send a gift, since that's all they really want anyway.

Thanks Russ.

I'd like your advice on another pressing topic.

I have an old friend that we'll call "Matt." We used to hang out in high school. He's a nice guy but we don't have that much in common.

Every couple months, Matt will call or text or email me wanting to get lunch or a beer. I don't want to hang out with Matt at all but I feel like a jerk for just ignoring him. When we hung out in 2011 a couple times, he spent the whole time talking about money and I was bored to death.

How can I get rid of Matt without being evil or feeling guilty about it?

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Thanks Russ.

I'd like your advice on another pressing topic.

I have an old friend that we'll call "Matt." We used to hang out in high school. He's a nice guy but we don't have that much in common.

Every couple months, Matt will call or text or email me wanting to get lunch or a beer. I don't want to hang out with Matt at all but I feel like a jerk for just ignoring him. When we hung out in 2011 a couple times, he spent the whole time talking about money and I was bored to death.

How can I get rid of Matt without being evil or feeling guilty about it?

Cable Guyyyyyy!

 

[pablo33]

Bang the bride-to-be and tell her fiancée about it.

Unless it’s your own wedding you’re trying to avoid going to. In that case you need to bang anyone other than the bride-to-be and tell her about it.

 

[DFSNOLE]

Thanks Russ.

I'd like your advice on another pressing topic.

I have an old friend that we'll call "Matt." We used to hang out in high school. He's a nice guy but we don't have that much in common.

Every couple months, Matt will call or text or email me wanting to get lunch or a beer. I don't want to hang out with Matt at all but I feel like a jerk for just ignoring him. When we hung out in 2011 a couple times, he spent the whole time talking about money and I was bored to death.

How can I get rid of Matt without being evil or feeling guilty about it?

So now you're starting new threads inside of existing ones? That won't work either.

 

[ncnole1975]

Do you enjoy going to weddings?

I have a distant cousin that is getting married about an hour away on an October Saturday. I desperately don't want to go.

I find weddings to be expensive and long and dull. It should be illegal to have them on a football weekend. I'd rather go to a funeral.

I enjoy getting invited to destination weddings because then I can just turn them down and say the travel is too much.

What is your go-to excuse to get out of a wedding?

Typically you will get a card in the mail asking to RSVP. Your response is simply, “Regretfully we will not be able to attend”. End of story.

Nowhere in any etiquette book is there an obligation to explain your declination of any invitation

 

[F4Gary]

 

[Lurker1999]

Typically you will get a card in the mail asking to RSVP. Your response is simply, “Regretfully we will not be able to attend”. End of story.

Nowhere in any etiquette book is there an obligation to explain your declination of any invitation

True, but then I have to hear family complain about my absence.

 

[12Nole]

Do you enjoy going to weddings?

I have a distant cousin that is getting married about an hour away on an October Saturday. I desperately don't want to go.

I find weddings to be expensive and long and dull. It should be illegal to have them on a football weekend. I'd rather go to a funeral.

I enjoy getting invited to destination weddings because then I can just turn them down and say the travel is too much.

What is your go-to excuse to get out of a wedding?

I did enjoy them but now over them at this point. It's like watching the same movie over and over. Then with social medial the bride will usually burn out the guest & friends with nonstop post about their wedding day, engagement photos, engagement party photos, bachelorette party photos, and so on. Then that brings us to the wedding photos, wedding video, honeymoon photos. Then gender reveal parties? Guess if it's a boy or girl? Guess what....don't care!

It's all just exhausting to watch and be part of.

Sorry for such a downer response. Welcome back by the way. Glad to see you're doing well and back to posting.

 

[totallynot321Nole]

I did enjoy them but now over them at this point. It's like watching the same movie over and over. Then with social medial the bride will usually burn out the guest & friends with nonstop post about their wedding day, engagement photos, engagement party photos, bachelorette party photos, and so on. Then that brings us to the wedding photos, wedding video, honeymoon photos. Then gender reveal parties? Guess if it's a boy or girl? Guess what....don't care!

It's all just exhausting to watch and be part of.

Sorry for such a downer response. Welcome back by the way. Glad to see you're doing well and back to posting.

Finkle is Einhorn... Einhorn is Finkle.

 

[Manch.]

Tell everyone that you're going to rehab, then you can skip out they will have sympathy for you! It's a win, win, win situation.

BTW, I got married the day FSU pissed all over Michigan. I'm from the northeast, so college football was irrelevant after Doug Flutie.

 

[Gonolz]

I just ban the potential groom from an internet message board before the invites are sent out.

 

[MIKE_G]

Just ask yourself: Do I really want to attend a wedding of two people who would have the bad taste to invite me as a guest?

 

[ReliableOstrich]

True, but then I have to hear family complain about my absence.

Just show up for the reception/open bar. Ceremony is not worth the time.

 

[fsu1jreed]

True, but then I have to hear family complain about my absence.

Does your family support you in any way? If the answer is no, then tell them to shut up.

 

[LesClaypool]

Does your family support you in any way? If the answer is no, then tell them to shut up.

Look at this guy's online persona.

Do you really think he's NOT yelling, "Ma...the meatloaf!?" every night?

 

[fsu1jreed]

Look at this guy's online persona.

Do you really think he's NOT yelling, "Ma...the meatloaf!?" every night?

Just trying to give crippled old man advice........chances are this is all a big troll job also.

 

[seminoledq]

I think it is pretty clear that they don't really want you to go to the wedding. They simply want to make you aware that it is happening so you send a gift.

 

[Lurker1999]

I think it is pretty clear that they don't really want you to go to the wedding. They simply want to make you aware that it is happening so you send a gift.

I hope!

 

[fsu1jreed]

I think it is pretty clear that they don't really want you to go to the wedding. They simply want to make you aware that it is happening so you send a gift.

If so, then he's getting off cheap.

 

[osceola74]

I scheduled a trip to visit my Mother in Lake Worth a few years back. She was about 80 then. I live in Atlanta.

 

[Pay_county]

Bang the soon to be bride or groom, they have no bad feelings if you don't show up then

 

[NoleNewsIsGoodNews]

I just don't respond to the invite and act like I never got it..done it twice and it worked like a charm both times...much better than The RSVP NO because then you start getting calls from The Bride/Groom or their friends and family berating you for being selfish to "their day"...Honestly 90 percent of all wedding invites are strictly to get another Gift IMO

 

[Fijimn]

The relationship life cycle is a interesting thing. Wife are I are in our early-40's and, for the most part, wedding and baby shower invitations stopped about 5 or 6 years ago. But now we are getting recently divorced party invitations or emails that so-and-so is getting divorced. Presumably in another 6 or 7 years we'll start getting second marriage wedding invitations.

 

[Lurker1999]

The relationship life cycle is a interesting thing. Wife are I are in our early-40's and, for the most part, wedding and baby shower invitations stopped about 5 or 6 years ago. But now we are getting recently divorced party invitations or emails that so-and-so is getting divorced. Presumably in another 6 or 7 years we'll start getting second marriage wedding invitations.

"Divorce parties" are really a thing?

 

[Fijimn]

"Divorce parties" are really a thing?

it appears so, at least for a few former wives that have be unshackled by the bonds of marriage and are free to sow their oats with a hefty cash settlement in their bank accounts -- while their not-too-smart former husbands have exchanged vows with their former paramours that are now with child.

 

[CC0492]

I think Brian should definitely bang the groom!

 

[NoleNewsIsGoodNews]

it appears so, at least for a few former wives that have be unshackled by the bounds of marriage and are free to sow their oats with a hefty cash settlement in their bank accounts -- while their not-too-smart former husbands have exchanged vows with their former paramours that are now with child.

To quote Oscar Wilde...

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence..Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience

 

[seminoledq]

it appears so, at least for a few former wives that have be unshackled by the bounds of marriage and are free to sow their oats with a hefty cash settlement in their bank accounts -- while their not-too-smart former husbands have exchanged vows with their former paramours that are now with child.

So is a divorce party just a gang bang or are there actually refreshments served and gifts exchanged?

 

[Fijimn]

So is a divorce party just a gang bang or are there actually refreshments served and gifts exchanged?

A good gang bang always involves quality refreshments otherwise it's just a prison shower scene.

 

[FSUDoles]

I assume you have already RSVP'd if the wedding is in a few weeks. When the invitation arrived, a quick, "sorry...can't make it" would've sufficed. Are you asking what our best excuse would be to get out if we already responded we would go? If yes...a simple stomach flu excuse the morning of will do the trick....no one can contest that. Have fun that weekend...give Matt or the bride and groom our best.

 

[cornnoleio11]

Do you enjoy going to weddings?

I have a distant cousin that is getting married about an hour away on an October Saturday. I desperately don't want to go.

I find weddings to be expensive and long and dull. It should be illegal to have them on a football weekend. I'd rather go to a funeral.

I enjoy getting invited to destination weddings because then I can just turn them down and say the travel is too much.

What is your go-to excuse to get out of a wedding?

I used to enjoy them as the common guest. Recently I have been on a best man streak due to the fact that I’m a great time, very attractive, witty, and charismatic. I’m also engaged and genuinely have a strong set of morals so I’m not a threat to woo the bridesmaids and turn them wacko before the big day. My speeches are also works of art that I put a lot of time and effort into.

The price tag attached to having this responsibility has turned me off to the whole day. Add the fact that I have to watch how much I drink before preforming really soured me to the whole event.

With all that said I’m lucky enough to have a young son to blame it on if I don’t want to attend.

 

[DFSNOLE]

I used to enjoy them as the common guest. Recently I have been on a best man streak due to the fact that I’m a great time, very attractive, witty, and charismatic. I’m also engaged and genuinely have a strong set of morals so I’m not a threat to woo the bridesmaids and turn them wacko before the big day. My speeches are also works of art that I put a lot of time and effort into.

The price tag attached to having this responsibility has turned me off to the whole day. Add the fact that I have to watch how much I drink before preforming really soured me to the whole event.

With all that said I’m lucky enough to have a young son to blame it on if I don’t want to attend.

Maybe I'll just get you both.

 

[LesClaypool]

Maybe I'll just get you both.

Please.

Sincerely,
All of us

 

[F4Gary]

Gender reveal parties are the new stupid thing. Fricken narcissists.