Affairs

[DanC78]

had a buddy come in town that hadn’t seen in years. He spends the entire day bragging to me about this girl he’s been banging on the side for the past year. Kept going on about it, showing me pictures, telling me about how sneaky he was etc. He was really proud of himself.

I don’t know why it bothered me like it did, but it did. I’m not even sure I like the guy anymore. And the really sucks for me, I don’t have many friends like that in my life anymore.

Anyhow...I kind of hope he gets busted, even though I would hate it for his kids.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

It bothered you because it's a crappy thing to do. Sounds like a real loser.

 

[Bubbz]

I'm with you Dan - that's not the kind of company I keep.

 

[kj9127]

had a buddy come in town that hadn’t seen in years. He spends the entire day bragging to me about this girl he’s been banging on the side for the past year. Kept going on about it, showing me pictures, telling me about how sneaky he was etc. He was really proud of himself.

I don’t know why it bothered me like it did, but it did. I’m not even sure I like the guy anymore. And the really sucks for me, I don’t have many friends like that in my life anymore.

Anyhow...I kind of hope he gets busted, even though I would hate it for his kids.

It bothered you because it should.

 

[BelemNole]

You should hit up hrot, Trad just told a story about his side piece once giving him and his wife clymydia.
People suck.

 

[TC Nole OX]

You should hit up hrot, Trad just told a story about his side piece once giving him and his wife clymydia.
People suck.

What is thread title/subject?

 

[FreeFlyNole]

Why would someone brag about that? The dude must have some serious insecurities.

 

[LesClaypool]

You should hit up hrot, Trad just told a story about his side piece once giving him and his wife clymydia.
People suck.

Ummmm...what?

 

[TexSkills]

You should hit up hrot, Trad just told a story about his side piece once giving him and his wife clymydia.
People suck.

Uh...what?

 

[DFSNOLE]

You need to rid your life of people like that. They can be like an infection that spreads to those around them.

 

[TexSkills]

I've never understood people who cheat and carry on affairs. It's never been in me to do that sort of thing.

 

[12Nole]

Did you try talking to him and help him figure out what's led him down this dark path?

He obviously thinks very highly of you to trust you enough to tell his dirty little secret to and show you proof by pictures. You're someone he considers that he can trust, if you haven't already, maybe tell him how you really feel. Your opinion matters to him.

 

[Tides]

Can we see some of the pictures? It may help us form an opinion

 

[DanC78]

Well damn, glad I’m not alone. I was genuinely feeling guilty that I was hoping for him to get busted.

I did try to talk to him, he would confirm that I was right etc; but at the same time I felt like he was feeding off the attention and enjoying it.

It was so weird. Dude is douche.

I’m shocked Trad had a “side chick”, not scocked she had clymydia

 

[cmanole]

The first rule of fight club...

 

[DanC78]

Can we see some of the pictures? It may help us form an opinion

I was looking for a couple of her last night and couldn’t find. I have no clue what her last name is.

 

[noleclone2]

That is really odd behavior. I think like everyone else here, obviously having an affair is a terrible idea, even if you are in a bad marriage. But bragging about it to a friend is just brain damaged.

 

[Dr. Nole]

Maybe he want's to get caught?

 

[DanC78]

Maybe he want's to get caught?

No...he likes the suspense and drama with the affair. I bet he’d cry, plea, and beg for his wife to work it out with him if she actually left.

He’s twisted.

And he will get caught.

 

[GoNolesTX]

You need to rid your life of people like that. They can be like an infection that spreads to those around them.

Like an STD.

 

[GoNolesTX]

He obviously thinks very highly of you to trust you enough to tell his dirty little secret to and show you proof by pictures. You're someone he considers that he can trust

I honestly don't think it's a matter of trust, it's a matter of ego and bravado. I've known these types... hell, I've BEEN these types many moons ago. It's basically being in a fraternity, but with some grievous consequences.

 

[Bill From Tampa]

Nothing good ever comes out of married people having affairs.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

You should hit up hrot, Trad just told a story about his side piece once giving him and his wife clymydia.
People suck.

Too bad nicotine doesn't kill chlamydia.

 

[RangerNole]

It shows a lot about your character that it bothers you this much. To be clear this guy is a piece of garbage. Unfortunately I have know a number of cheaters and had one in my family who did it. When is came out and it always does it was crushing to the family and especially the kids. All of his kids have some level of trust issue when it coms to marriage. It hurt/effected so many more lives than just the adult involved. Maybe because trust and loyalty are 2 of the most important character traits I value in people. I know some people that worked through it and stayed married; I really don't know how you would do that. I don't know how the wife/husband could ever see their spouse the same or ever trust them again.

 

[NDallasRuss]

You should bang his wife to even the score.

 

[goldmom]

Infidelity is really a huge deal breaker even if you don't get caught right away.
You'd be surprised ( or maybe not) how prevalent it is - especially among certain types who are of a certain age and financial standing.

Men (sometimes women too) who've been married a long time, maybe there's a level of boredom, wife looking a little tired, a mid-life crisis, and a divorce would mean a "walletectomy", so instead they look around to see if anyone wants to play.

Good looking women who aren't attached - not naming any names here - - get hit on, and while it has an element of flattery, it's just flat out morally wrong.

 

[GoNolesTX]

Infidelity is really a huge deal breaker even if you don't get caught right away.
You'd be surprised ( or maybe not) how prevalent it is - especially among certain types who are of a certain age and financial standing.

Men (sometimes women too) who've been married a long time, maybe there's a level of boredom, wife looking a little tired, a mid-life crisis, and a divorce would mean a "walletectomy", so instead they look around to see if anyone wants to play.

Good looking women who aren't attached - not naming any names here - - get hit on, and while it has an element of flattery, it's just flat out morally wrong.

Seems like there would be a fairly lucrative website for such arrangements...

 

[seminoledq]

You need to keep friends like that close just for a little while longer. When his wife finds out she will be looking for revenge. That's where you swoop in with a shoulder to cry on and bang away. That's how you keep the cycle going.

 

[cmanole]

You should bang his wife to even the score.

 

[DanC78]

Infidelity is really a huge deal breaker even if you don't get caught right away.
You'd be surprised ( or maybe not) how prevalent it is - especially among certain types who are of a certain age and financial standing.

Men (sometimes women too) who've been married a long time, maybe there's a level of boredom, wife looking a little tired, a mid-life crisis, and a divorce would mean a "walletectomy", so instead they look around to see if anyone wants to play.

Good looking women who aren't attached - not naming any names here - - get hit on, and while it has an element of flattery, it's just flat out morally wrong.

It's funny, because I know lots of people who have cheated. But for some reason, this one really bothered me. Maybe it's because our kids are friends and we were neighbors for such long time.

I talked to wife, we are done with them as friends. Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

[SoddyNole]

You should bang his wife to even the score.

Wouldn't that mean someone would have to bang Dan's wife to even that score?

 

[NoleFan2U]

A very good friend of mine caught her husband cheating. He ADMITTED to having 4 total during their marriage. They are still together after counseling and church marriage encounter weekends. I don't get it but it isn't really my business. And like the OP, we don't hang out with the husband much anymore.

 

[surfnole]

Infidelity is really a huge deal breaker even if you don't get caught right away.
You'd be surprised ( or maybe not) how prevalent it is - especially among certain types who are of a certain age and financial standing.

Men (sometimes women too) who've been married a long time, maybe there's a level of boredom, wife looking a little tired, a mid-life crisis, and a divorce would mean a "walletectomy", so instead they look around to see if anyone wants to play.

Good looking women who aren't attached - not naming any names here - - get hit on, and while it has an element of flattery, it's just flat out morally wrong.

Is there any evidence that men have more affairs than women?

Since women file for divorce far more often than men, maybe they get divorced before moving on.

 

[ReliableOstrich]

It shows a lot about your character that it bothers you this much. To be clear this guy is a piece of garbage. Unfortunately I have know a number of cheaters and had one in my family who did it. When is came out and it always does it was crushing to the family and especially the kids. All of his kids have some level of trust issue when it coms to marriage. It hurt/effected so many more lives than just the adult involved. Maybe because trust and loyalty are 2 of the most important character traits I value in people. I know some people that worked through it and stayed married; I really don't know how you would do that. I don't know how the wife/husband could ever see their spouse the same or ever trust them again.

Maybe for the first time ever, I agree with every word of your post.

I don't know that I could ever stay with someone who lied to me about anything other than a white lie, an affair would be unfathomable to get over -- but I guess I've never been in those shoes.

If stuck in a boring, sexless marriage and beat down by day to day life of hauling kids around the suburbs where divorce seems illogical b/c either the roommate relationship is fine or the financials/kids would make things complex/difficult, I'd potentially be open to a mutually open marriage if done discretely and within certain boundaries.. but things would have to be pretty hopeless to resort to that, as it seems to be just a hair short of a serious disaster.

 

[DanC78]

Is there any evidence that men have more affairs than women?

Since women file for divorce far more often than men, maybe they get divorced before moving on.

I should mention that the girl he’s hooking up with is also married with zero kids. She supposedly doesn’t want to leave her husband because she feels sorry for him.

And this part is kind of funny.

He tells me that he has sex with his wife at least 2 times a week so that she doesn’t become suspicious. I asked if the other girl knew that he was still still having sex with wife. He says, “hell know, she’d get pissed, she thinks we hate each other and that we are only together for our kids”.

I then ask if she is doing the same little trick with her husband to keep him from being suspicious. His answer to me was, “nope, they haven’t had sex in a year, she isn’t attracted to him”.

I looked at him and started laughing....they are both Delusional.

 

[BelemNole]

What is thread title/subject?

https://iowa.forums.rivals.com/thre...antic-relationship.188478/page-2#post-4839596

 

[West Duval Nole]

I talked to wife, we are done with them as friends. Ain't nobody got time for that.

He told you and you told your wife. Hmmm. Thinking his wife will be finding out soon enough. And well since you have made a decision to no longer be friends with him.

 

[DanC78]

He told you and you told your wife. Hmmm. Thinking his wife will be finding out soon enough. And well since you have made a decision to no longer be friends with him.

She isn’t as close to his wife as I am with him. They live in FL, we are in atlanta. She hasn’t spoken to her in over a year. We both decided to cease and desist from the whole situation and to not have our prints on any of it.

 

[ReliableOstrich]

Sad situation and frankly pretty unfair that he brought you into it by telling you.

 

[BelemNole]

She isn’t as close to his wife as I am with him. They live in FL, we are in atlanta. She hasn’t spoken to her in over a year. We both decided to cease and desist from the whole situation and to not have our prints on any of it.

My buddy married my sister-in-law's best friend. She is bat-ish crazy. Her mom told her once in front of my buddy not to worry too much about the marriage as he's just her "starter husband". MIL has been married 3-4 times. Always marrying up into more money. Anyway as expected marriage fell apart and I'm pretty sure she was banging her boss. It went from staying with him when traveling for convenience, to allegations of sexual harassment, to getting engaged to him a few months after divorcing my buddy.
My brother used to be tight with my buddy as well. We all used to drink/fish together. But when the marriage fell apart crazy chick told my SIL all sorts of crazy lies about my buddy. My SIL ate up all of it because it was her best friend. My brother chose to believe it because it was easier to believe his wife than his brother's buddy. Now we don't all fish together anymore and it's still a sore spot between my brother an I because I know the ex is nukking futs and he tries to tell me it's my buddy.
Moral of the story is, don't get in between other people's marital crap.