Did you pay your kids for grades or get paid as a kid?

[funksouljon]

I never did as a kid. I knew some that did. Looking back, I do wish I had better grades in HS just to open options (that I likely wouldn't have taken anyways as I was the traditional "need to leave school and home for some time between HS and college"). I also doubt the $100 incentive (or whatever) would modified my interest in moving Bs to As.

Just curious if anyone here pays or thinks it is a good method (or a bad method). I am sure like any other parenting method it needs to be tailored to the kid but something I have never discussed as a possibly.

What say those of you with perfect offspring?

 

[seminoledq]

Check with the compliance department but I believe this type of improper benefit is a recruiting violation.

 

[Nole Lou]

No way on either account. My kids grades were good so it never would have come up I guess.

I don't think I ever would. If a kid was smart enough to get A's and wasn't making the effort, in which case I'm thinking that a situation for a stick instead of the carrot, because they're doing something wrong. I don't think I'd be incentivizing them for doing what they should be doing.

And a kid was not smart enough to really get A's, and you were throwing out something they couldn't really accomplish, or only with herculean, sanity-crushing effort, that just seems cruel.

 

[62Nole]

Nope and nope.

 

[OrlandNole]

My mom still gives my kids cash - even for my daughter (no pics) who's in college.

Grandma's gonna grandma.

 

[funksouljon]

My mom still gives my kids cash - even for my daughter (no pics) who's in college.

Grandma's gonna grandma.

Did you get $ in HS etc for academics? Or is this just a grandma who is doling out cash like birthday money.

 

[OrlandNole]

Did you get $ in HS etc for academics? Or is this just a grandma who is doling out cash like birthday money.

I remember my aunt giving me money, but I don't think my mom did.

 

[DFSNOLE]

My mom still gives my kids cash - even for my daughter (no pics) who's in college.

Grandma's gonna grandma.

I got money from my grandmother for grades too.

 

[helmetnuts]

Yeh I got paid, it was called not getting my ass whipped if I had anything lower than a C

 

[OrlandNole]

I don't think it's intended as a direct incentive, as in "I'm going to study all week for this test so that I can get an extra $10-15."

It's more of an acknowledgement and encouragement for a job well done.

 

[FSUdawg]

We don't pay for grades, soccer goals or assists. There is a girl on my daughter's team that gets $20 for every goal she scores. Needless to say she hasn't learned to pass the ball yet, and she is playing on a 12U Travel team. So, I don't think that is the best solution.

When I was growing up I didn't get paid for grades, and even if I did it wouldn't have helped. There were certain subjects I just had zero interest in or sucked at, so my grades weren't that good...money would not have changed that. If I cared about a subject I did just fine and the money would not have motivated me to do better.

 

[NDallasRuss]

We don't pay for grades, soccer goals or assists. There is a girl on my daughter's team that gets $20 for every goal she scores. Needless to say she hasn't learned to pass the ball yet, and she is playing on a 12U Travel team. So, I don't think that is the best solution.

When the daughter played basketball, she got a dollar for every rebound, assist, steal, and block. Everything but points. We explained that these were the things that helped the team win.

 

[NDallasRuss]

The daughter gets paid for academic performance. It's a big motivator for her.

She gets "prizes" for having straight A's at the end of each grading period. It's an undefined amount that's negotiated once the grading period is over. It usually works out to be $100-150 worth of stuff.

She gets additional "prizes" for having straight A's at the end of the year. That amount may be a little higher, depending on what she wants.

She also has a "pay for play" system set up for SAT performance. She got $200 for breaking 1300, which she did her freshman year. There's another $200 each for reaching 1400 and 1500. She gets another $250 for each section on which she gets a perfect score. So, she has the potential to earn a total of $1100 from the SAT.

She's going to try the ACT for the first time in December, so we'll have to figure out something for that one also.

 

[BelemNole]

I didn't. I got punished.
However I do pay my kids. Not a lot, but as an acknowledgement. They get a bonus for straight As. So far I've paid that bonus every time and have been happy to.

 

[funksouljon]

The daughter gets paid for academic performance. It's a big motivator for her.

..........

Im not gonna lie, when I was considering creating this thread, I thought about you. Not casting aspersions <sp RRR> at all, I just know you have mentioned your kids goals/success/focus in previous threads and my money was on you having a "reward" system.

I know for me, the amount of money it would have taken for me to care enough to push to straight As was not a $ amount that my folks would have cared to even consider. They (and I) view going to school and graduating as "my job". Except I also had a 3/4 time employment job as well. Like @FSUdawg , my interest in a subject was the primary indicator of what my grade would be. That and how hard the class was. I enjoy school / education much more now than I ever did as a teen.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

Im not gonna lie, when I was considering creating this thread, I thought about you. Not casting dispersions at all, I just know you have mentioned your kids goals/success/focus in previous threads and my money was on you having a "reward" system.

I know for me, the amount of money it would have taken for me to care enough to push to straight As was not a $ amount that my folks would have cared to even consider. They (and I) view going to school and graduating as "my job". Except I also had a 3/4 time employment job as well. Like @FSUdawg , my interest in a subject was the primary indicator of what my grade would be. That and how hard the class was. I enjoy school / education much more now than I ever did as a teen.

Probably could have learned the difference between “dispersions” and “aspersions” if there had been a crisp Hamilton at the end of the rainbow.

 

[Fijimn]

My daughter got stickers when she pee pee’d In the potty. Does that count?

 

[Nolomite]

I had planned on paying my kid for grades - completely transparent, with payments scaling up not only for the grade earned but tiered for Jr. High, High School, and Baccalaureate degrees. Also hard-to-reach bonuses for SATs and GREs (or equivalent - GMAT, LSAT, etc).

To me, I though it an important example of post-academic life - we get paid to achieve. It's easier to get that first job if your resume says "Magna Cum Lauda" in the education section. Also, the entire time, my kid would learn to not blow a stack of cash when they got one - or do it once and learn it was a dumb move. Better to get that out of the way when they are 14-15 than when they are 25.

None of that came to pass - my wife bailed because she put her career ahead of her marriage, as she's done with all three of her spouses (I was the second).

 

[funksouljon]

Probably could have learned the difference between “dispersions” and “aspersions” if there had been a crisp Hamilton at the end of the rainbow.

Damn you! bad spelling turned to autocorrect. Fixed it just because of you.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Im not gonna lie, when I was considering creating this thread, I thought about you. Not casting aspersions <sp RRR> at all, I just know you have mentioned your kids goals/success/focus in previous threads and my money was on you having a "reward" system.

I know for me, the amount of money it would have taken for me to care enough to push to straight As was not a $ amount that my folks would have cared to even consider. They (and I) view going to school and graduating as "my job". Except I also had a 3/4 time employment job as well. Like @FSUdawg , my interest in a subject was the primary indicator of what my grade would be. That and how hard the class was. I enjoy school / education much more now than I ever did as a teen.

I think different things work for different kids. For me, money wouldn't have been enough to motivate me - the amount really wouldn't matter. I wasn't going to do homework regardless of whether there was a stick or a carrot: I valued being out and getting myself into, and out of, trouble too much. I totally blew off homework, then aced tests, so that at the end I slid by with the minimum amount of effort. It was only later on that I figured out that the path could have been much easier.

As for the kid though, she likes making money, and usually not spending it, so that motivates her. She'd probably make decent grades anyway, but this like a fire under her to do better. So, instead of being in the top 20-25%, she's in the top 5-10% (I think, they don't release class rank until junior year). So, I see this as an investment, given the exclusivity of the schools she wants to go to. If I can drop $4-5k over 4 years, and it gets her into Stanford or Yale or whatever, then I think the money was well worth it.

It's worked so far: she's in 10th grade and she's got straight A's so far this year including Latin 4, Precalc, and AP History. She hasn't made a B since 6th grade, and she still seems pretty happy/balanced.

FWIW we also have a long-shot deal with her that if she can get a full scholarship to an ivy-league school, then we'll get her a car worth up to $80k when she graduates college. We figure that's still getting out for less than 1/3 of what paying for it would have cost, so it's a bargain for us, and she gets a huge reward at the end of a long journey of hard work.

 

[FSUdawg]

I enjoy school / education much more now than I ever did as a teen.

Same here. I wish I enjoyed learning half as much then as I do now.

 

[Bill From Tampa]

Nope, never was paid for grades. Save for one employer, no one ever asked about what grades I made in any level of education.

 

[Gonolz]

I think it would be a lot more effective if you paid the teachers for grades, but to each his own.

 

[BelemNole]

I think different things work for different kids. For me, money wouldn't have been enough to motivate me - the amount really wouldn't matter. I wasn't going to do homework regardless of whether there was a stick or a carrot: I valued being out and getting myself into, and out of, trouble too much. I totally blew off homework, then aced tests, so that at the end I slid by with the minimum amount of effort. It was only later on that I figured out that the path could have been much easier.

As for the kid though, she likes making money, and usually not spending it, so that motivates her. She'd probably make decent grades anyway, but this like a fire under her to do better. So, instead of being in the top 20-25%, she's in the top 5-10% (I think, they don't release class rank until junior year). So, I see this as an investment, given the exclusivity of the schools she wants to go to. If I can drop $4-5k over 4 years, and it gets her into Stanford or Yale or whatever, then I think the money was well worth it.

It's worked so far: she's in 10th grade and she's got straight A's so far this year including Latin 4, Precalc, and AP History. She hasn't made a B since 6th grade, and she still seems pretty happy/balanced.

FWIW we also have a long-shot deal with her that if she can get a full scholarship to an ivy-league school, then we'll get her a car worth up to $80k when she graduates college. We figure that's still getting out for less than 1/3 of what paying for it would have cost, so it's a bargain for us, and she gets a huge reward at the end of a long journey of hard work.

AP Euro history is stressing my 10th grader out. He's never had to work so hard for an A in his life. To be fair, the amount of work they have to do is nuts. He's cruising thru PreCalc and Spanish - I took Latin but they don't offer it here.
Not so sure about the happy part, but he's driven to do well. We're working on the happy.

 

[NDallasRuss]

I think it would be a lot more effective if you paid the teachers for grades, but to each his own.

This works really well for college graduate assistants that teach classes. Probably less so for HS teachers. Although, to be fair, I haven't really tried.

A buddy and I did pass junior year English by going and helping the teacher pack up a moving truck one Saturday, so I guess I bartered for a better grade.

 

[wbnolefan2]

nope, but I did pay my son for rebounds and blocked shots in little league basketball.....Upward basketball

 

[NDallasRuss]

AP Euro history is stressing my 10th grader out. He's never had to work so hard for an A in his life. To be fair, the amount of work they have to do is nuts. He's cruising thru PreCalc and Spanish - I took Latin but they don't offer it here.
Not so sure about the happy part, but he's driven to do well. We're working on the happy.

The daughter's been caught off guard by having to actually write in her first AP class (World History). It's really the first time she's had to do that kind of writing, and it's been an adjustment for her.

The happy part is hard to stay focused on. We try real hard to remember that she's only just turned 15yo, and that the amount of stress she must be feeling can be overwhelming. We try to do a lot to mitigate the pressure she's putting on herself (and probably that we're putting on her). There's "being a kid" time that we try to build into her schedule, and she's got PS4 games that she can play when she wakes up on the weekends. But still, I get angry when people talk about kids today being entitled and expecting everything to just be given to them. These kids are working their tails off and have workloads/schedules/expectations that I could never have imagined when I was a kid!

 

[BelemNole]

Yeah, I was a complete slacker. But even aside from that what kids are expected to do now to compete for a spot at a decent school is insane. My 15 year old is convinced that if he gets a single B he'll end up living under an overpass. He's taking every advanced class offered, is part of two service organizations at school, is a founding member of the computer club and participates in a sport. And he's given up on the idea of going to an elite school because he doesn't think he's doing enough.
My biggest battle with him is getting him to de-stress and have some fun. I tell him that no one else in either side of his family had straight A's all thru school and we're all successful. I mean, I'm proud of him, but I don't want him going off the rails if he gets a B in an AP class.

So when people go off about lazy kids these days I see a little red. Most are so over scheduled it's crazy.

 

[funksouljon]

Yeah, I was a complete slacker. But even aside from that what kids are expected to do now to compete for a spot at a decent school is insane. My 15 year old is convinced that if he gets a single B he'll end up living under an overpass. ..............

Where do you think that is coming from? Who knows what the env will be like in 8 years, but I do think about it as I look ahead.

 

[BelemNole]

Where do you think that is coming from? Who knows what the env will be like in 8 years, but I do think about it as I look ahead.

I wish I knew. Other kids? The school? I don't know. We're doing our best to dissuade him of the idea. I mean, I'm glad he's a smart kid and a great student, but he needs some balance.

 

[NDallasRuss]

I wish I knew. Other kids? The school? I don't know. We're doing our best to dissuade him of the idea. I mean, I'm glad he's a smart kid and a great student, but he needs some balance.

I think it's just the perceived reality now. So many kids apply to all the good colleges that it's harder and harder to get accepted. When you look at the acceptance stats at those schools it's ridiculous. For example, Stanford's acceptance rate is 5%. When you look their numbers, the avg GPA is 4.18 on a 4.0 score, and an avg SAT of 1510. They even say that they turn down some applicants with perfect SAT scores. That's a lot of pressure to not screw up a single class.

 

[surfnole]

I think different things work for different kids. For me, money wouldn't have been enough to motivate me - the amount really wouldn't matter. I wasn't going to do homework regardless of whether there was a stick or a carrot: I valued being out and getting myself into, and out of, trouble too much. I totally blew off homework, then aced tests, so that at the end I slid by with the minimum amount of effort. It was only later on that I figured out that the path could have been much easier.

As for the kid though, she likes making money, and usually not spending it, so that motivates her. She'd probably make decent grades anyway, but this like a fire under her to do better. So, instead of being in the top 20-25%, she's in the top 5-10% (I think, they don't release class rank until junior year). So, I see this as an investment, given the exclusivity of the schools she wants to go to. If I can drop $4-5k over 4 years, and it gets her into Stanford or Yale or whatever, then I think the money was well worth it.

It's worked so far: she's in 10th grade and she's got straight A's so far this year including Latin 4, Precalc, and AP History. She hasn't made a B since 6th grade, and she still seems pretty happy/balanced.

FWIW we also have a long-shot deal with her that if she can get a full scholarship to an ivy-league school, then we'll get her a car worth up to $80k when she graduates college. We figure that's still getting out for less than 1/3 of what paying for it would have cost, so it's a bargain for us, and she gets a huge reward at the end of a long journey of hard work.

My old roommate offered his son a Corvette if he went to UF instead of a private school (not Ivy league) up north. His son turned it down.

 

[surfnole]

The daughter's been caught off guard by having to actually write in her first AP class (World History). It's really the first time she's had to do that kind of writing, and it's been an adjustment for her.

The happy part is hard to stay focused on. We try real hard to remember that she's only just turned 15yo, and that the amount of stress she must be feeling can be overwhelming. We try to do a lot to mitigate the pressure she's putting on herself (and probably that we're putting on her). There's "being a kid" time that we try to build into her schedule, and she's got PS4 games that she can play when she wakes up on the weekends. But still, I get angry when people talk about kids today being entitled and expecting everything to just be given to them. These kids are working their tails off and have workloads/schedules/expectations that I could never have imagined when I was a kid!

High school is much harder today than the 1970s when I went. I was accepted into both FSU and UF with a GPA and SAT much lower than anything average today. Graduated with a much better GPA at FSU with a computer science degree because I started to care when it mattered and when I was interested. I rarely cracked a book in high school, and I knew that I had the grades to get into both FSU and UF. I showed up to take the SAT after partying the night before.

Entrance requirements are probably harder now too because I am guessing that the population in FLA in double or maybe triple that of 1980.

Kids today need all sorts of "activities" too to show that they are well rounded. I worked about 25 hours a week in HS and didn't care for extracurricular activities. Had some rich friends who lived on a lake and we water skied and partied most days after school (when I wasn't working).

On the other hand, we didn't have weighted grades back then. 4.0 was the highest you could get. Also, few kids took SAT prep tests, and now they all do. Finally, they changed the SAT scoring system so an old 1100 is now maybe a 1200. If you had a 1200 on the SAT back in 1979, you could get into almost any school you wanted.

 

[cfbfan23]

We pay. $25/A for each term and a $100 bonus for straight A’s. My mom matches it. He’s in 5th grade. It seems to motivate him...he’s got 7 or 8 different subjects.....so it can be fairly lucrative for a 10 year old. We make him save half of the money and the rest he can spend on stupid shit.

 

[MIKE_G]

My kids are only in 3rd grade, so it's never occurred to me to pay them. I don't like the idea of getting paid just for doing what you're supposed to do, but I can understand rewarding them unexpectedly for having a good report card or some other specific accomplishment. Acknowledgement is important.

 

[RTM58]

But still, I get angry when people talk about kids today being entitled and expecting everything to just be given to them. These kids are working their tails off and have workloads/schedules/expectations that I could never have imagined when I was a kid!

How many kids in her AP classes? How many kids in the school, or her grade?

I think it's just the perceived reality now. That's a lot of pressure to not screw up a single class.

Like Harvard of the South. There a ton of great schools not named Stanford.

When you look at the acceptance stats at those schools it's ridiculous. For example, Stanford's acceptance rate is 5%.

Do they calc it like FSU and UF do? You know, with the Madison Avenue slight of hand.

Sounds like you got a great kid.

He's cruising thru PreCalc and Spanish - I took Latin but they don't offer it here.

I'm pretty sure your the first "slacker" to take Latin,a dead language, in high school. Is pig latin dead? If so, I would be the another slacker. ;-)

 

[RunRonnieRun]

MI don't like the idea of getting paid just for doing what you're supposed to do

I don't really understand this. I'm supposed to go to my job and do it. My employer pays me for that. The better I am at my job, the more opportunity I have to increase my salary, achieve higher bonuses, advance in my career, et cetera.

It seems to me teaching kids that hard work is rewarded will serve them well for the future.

 

[FreeFlyNole]

When I got strait A's in high school each semester, I'd get something. Not necessarily cash, but I got Lollapallooza tickets once, a new surf board once. Things like that. I had a buddy in college who's dad Paid him $100 per credit hour per A, $50 per credit hour per B, $0 on a C and D or below he had to pay his tuition back. I thought that was a pretty good system.

 

[MIKE_G]

I don't really understand this. I'm supposed to go to my job and do it. My employer pays me for that. The better I am at my job, the more opportunity I have to increase my salary, achieve higher bonuses, advance in my career, et cetera.

It seems to me teaching kids that hard work is rewarded will serve them well for the future.

I don't really understand this. I'm supposed to go to my job and do it. My employer pays me for that. The better I am at my job, the more opportunity I have to increase my salary, achieve higher bonuses, advance in my career, et cetera.

It seems to me teaching kids that hard work is rewarded will serve them well for the future.

I don't look at school as a job, but as a prerequisite. I think good work should be rewarded, but I don't agree that it should be expected or used as the motivating factor. Or maybe I should pay my kids to tie their shoes, brush their teeth, make their beds, not crap their pants, etc.

 

[OrlandNole]

...not crap their pants, etc.

Your kids are in third grade and still crap their pants? Maybe it's time to stop letting them watch FSU football.