Ever lived with someone who is Bipolar manic depressive

[djinklude]

My wife is bi polar and man it's taking a toll on me this year. Mood stabilizers are starting to not work so she is very depressed and says her thoughts wont slow down. Back to the doctors office we go but knowing this is a life long process is very frustrating. I can't imagine what she is going through in her own mind. I feel very helpless. I can only support her through the good and bad cause there is nothing I can "fix"

 

[PoopandBoogers]

How long have you been together and how long have you known about it?

What specifically has she been doing lately that has been abnormal?

(Just wondering if she waited awhile before she told you, how long has it been a factor, etc).

Reason I ask this is I haven't dealt with this personally one on one, but do have people that I know who have, and it intrigues me to say the least.

@FSU_UCLA

 

[gunnyhiway]

My Dad was bipolar. It started getting bad when I was about 12. He started having nervous breakdowns and I'd have to wrestle him into the car with my Mom to take him to the ER. It was pretty brutal. They'd strap him down and sometimes he'd have to get shock treatments. He never lost his sense of humor or his faith, tho.

It's a tough gig for a family. You should read as much as possible as they are steps you two can take to try and manage it best as you can. Sometimes I think being the family member of someone who is ill is just as tough as being the sick one. God bless you.

 

[Dr. Nole]

Yes....daughter.
Like watching someone drown in front of you while you keep trying to throw them a lifeline.

 

[Manch.]

yup, my ex-wife, and she's been at the top of her game since my son, FIL and MIL all passed within 5 months of each other back in 2015.

 

[DanC78]

Yes...it’s tough....very tough.

 

[djinklude]

When my wife is manic she starts driving fast while not wearing a seatbelt. Might see some make up at walgreens and steal it. She said it feels like you can do whatever you want whenever you want. She would stay home and spend 8 hours straight on youtube. We've been together for 14 years but the depression side is the worst. Sucidal mixed with alcohol abuse. I watch the woman I married become a shell of the person I once knew. Then it starts all over. She is starting to take mood stabilizers after 10 years of being diagnosed but I know once she is "better" she will stop

 

[djinklude]

We are 34 and her family has written her off. I feel when she is in a deep depression that if it wasnt for our daughter and me that she would kill herself. It gets that bad. Huge burden I have to live with daily knowing if I divorced her she would be gone forever. I mean I'm on warchant telling strangers this stuff. I can only imagine what she goes through. I would rather deal with the bad than not have her here at all. She isn't trash to throw out. Just sick.

 

[BelemNole]

You sound like a good dude.
Have you paid any attention to the recent research with psychedelics? Seems promising, might inquire with your doctor.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

You sound like a good dude.
Have you paid any attention to the recent research with psychedelics? Seems promising, might inquire with your doctor.

Microdosing?

That’s a very interesting path. No clue if it has any true benefit but it’s intriguing.

 

[fsu1jreed]

Yep, my ex-girlfriend was Bi-polar MD..........was not fun.

 

[mcgrawfsu]

I had an employee who was bi-polar. He was a very good producer, but dealing with him became too much. When he was manic he thought he was an all powerful being. Then the depression would hit. You could always tell when he stopped taking his meds.

I wish you luck. Dealing with an employee is one thing, having it be a loved one has got to be tough.

 

[Semiologist]

Every day, in my own brain. It's tough to take knowing your own mind is lying to you.

 

[ChimpNole]

I have a sibling that is bi-polar. It was really bad. Hallucinations that are hard to believe. We finally did an intervention and she is now 90% normal. She is off all of her meds. Yes, there are still mood swings, but nothing like it used to be. We also had a neighbor across the street that is bi-polar. She was taken to an assisted living facility and got her meds regulated properly. It made a world of difference with her too.

 

[noleclone2]

I have a sibling that is bi-polar. It was really bad. Hallucinations that are hard to believe. We finally did an intervention and she is now 90% normal. She is off all of her meds. Yes, there are still mood swings, but nothing like it used to be. We also had a neighbor across the street that is bi-polar. She was taken to an assisted living facility and got her meds regulated properly. It made a world of difference with her too.

I think there is sage advice here for you. You sound resigned and beaten down but to me the situation is she is not where she needs to be both from a medicine stand point and from a counselling stand point. You also indicated your wife drinks when in depressed state. That is a huge no-no especially if she is on medicine.

My non expert advice (UCLA will prolly show up and tell you everything I said is wrong) is find another doctor and revamp the approach that is clearly not working...at all. I know somebody very close to me that deals with this and just getting her on a birth control pill made a huge difference. But it is time to fight back and change the approach. Don't give up on her without at least trying one more time.

 

[Banditking]

yup, my ex-wife, and she's been at the top of her game since my son, FIL and MIL all passed within 5 months of each other back in 2015.

What you’ve gone through really sucks. I feel for you.

 

[Banditking]

You sound like a good dude.
Have you paid any attention to the recent research with psychedelics? Seems promising, might inquire with your doctor.

People are using ketamine again for this with some interesting results. But i think a lot more research is needed.

 

[Finance85]

I lived with a bi-polar girl for a long time, and more recently dated one.

My advice to djinklude - don't seek advice for this situation on the internet. No professional worth their salt will offer any meaningful advice without a proper examination. The only meaningful advice would be to tell you how to seek the right professional.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

yup, my ex-wife, and she's been at the top of her game since my son, FIL and MIL all passed within 5 months of each other back in 2015.

Interesting phrasing here:

“My son, father in law, and mother in law” rather than “our son and her father and mother.”

 

[Manch.]

Interesting phrasing here:

“My son, father in law, and mother in law” rather than “our son and her father and mother.”

Didn't mean anything by it, did if come off with a meaning to you?

 

[LesClaypool]

Please take the high road, Ronnie.

 

[Phyrst1]

Sometimes tweaks to the psychotropics can help, especially if they have been on the same one for awhile. Good luck, I know it’s hard on everybody involved.

 

[1handsomenole]

Good luck OP.

My ex-wife also was bi-polar. She exhibited hints of depression during our courtship, but typically held up pretty well socially and at her job. I did love her and thought this was a manageable situation with professional counseling.

As time went on, her depressive mood swings intensified. She resisted my attempts to fully understand the issues she vaguely claimed were at the core of her condition. Any suggestion of seeking professional help (individual or together) resulted in her further detachment from me.

When I learned she had told one of her co-workers that I had physically beaten her, I knew it was time to move on. We were divorced within 4 months from that point.

She, her family and her closest friends tried to persuade me to re-unite with her for over two years.

 

[Banditking]

Good luck OP.

My ex-wife also was bi-polar. She exhibited hints of depression during our courtship, but typically held up pretty well socially and at her job. I did love her and thought this was a manageable situation with professional counseling.

As time went on, her depressive mood swings intensified. She resisted my attempts to fully understand the issues she vaguely claimed were at the core of her condition. Any suggestion of seeking professional help (individual or together) resulted in her further detachment from me.

When I learned she had told one of her co-workers that I had physically beaten her, I knew it was time to move on. We were divorced within 4 months from that point.

She, her family and her closest friends tried to persuade me to re-unite with her for over two years.

I think there is a problem of overlap with borderline personality disorder.

Chronic relationship stress is bad for you. It can impact your health.

I’d advise to evaluate your situation carefully.

 

[MIKE_G]

Whoa. Thankfully the closest I've come to dealing with bipolar is reading the Tribal Council.

 

[squiffynole]

Its upsetting to hear these stories. So terrible for the individuals and so hard on the families. I'm glad you'all have the courage to talk about it keeping it inside makes it all even worse. I'm sending out positive energy waves and will hope for better days.