Jameis is going to be a Dad...My question

[TallyNole93]

MEH....no need to get married. If it doesn't work out, pay her off and walk away. Disposable society.

Am no way saying marriage will guarantee it. But if you go into the marriage, truly honor the vows and commit to the relationship, much better chance. Go into it with a disposable mindset...doomed from the start.

 

[DanC78]

Oh I see you are a trying to be funny kind of guy. Trying...

Im serious

 

[ericram]

Im serious

Stop it! You are killing me.

 

[itsjustme0770]

Are you from a divorced/broken family?

I’ll play. I am from a divorced and completely broken family. I’m also wildly successful on both a personal and professional level. I also happen to be married and have a beautiful son. One of the very best days of my life is when my mother left my father. Point is that your point is meaningless. Marriage can be lovely. Marriage can be terrible. Point is that your point is meaningless. You (and others here) should stop insisting that your social norms should be others.

 

[DanC78]

I’ll play. I am from a divorced and completely broken family. I’m also wildly successful on both a personal and professional level. I also happen to be married and have a beautiful son. One of the very best days of my life is when my mother left my father. Point is that your point is meaningless. Marriage can be lovely. Marriage can be terrible. Point is that your point is meaningless. You (and others here) should stop insisting that your social norms should be others.

Im a pro marriage type of guy and also come from a broken l...and broke family.

 

[itsjustme0770]

Im a pro marriage type of guy and also come from a broken l...and broke family.

I’m not anti marriage. I’m anti you telling me I should be married. Happily married for 11 years here.

 

[DanC78]

I’m not anti marriage. I’m anti you telling me I should be married. Happily married for 11 years here.

Okay

 

[Hayduke GW]

I’m not anti marriage. I’m anti you telling me I should be married. Happily married for 11 years here.

Well said, but that kid just won’t get it.
Until he gets divorced.

 

[DanC78]

Well said, but that kid just won’t get it.
Until he gets divorced.

Am I the kid you’re referring too?

 

[QuaZ2002]

In my experience being raised in a two parent household isn’t the essential thing, it’s being raised in a stable household and having both parents involved in the child’s life. Parents don’t have to be married or even living together for that to be the case although it’s probably ideal.

 

[ReliableOstrich]

In my experience being raised in a two parent household isn’t the essential thing, it’s being raised in a stable household and having both parents involved in the child’s life. Parents don’t have to be married or even living together for that to be the case although it’s probably ideal.

Exactly. Plenty of kids are raised in loveless households and wind up to be crackpots.
Plenty of kids grow up with one extremely loving parent and wind up to be amazing people.

No one should be pro or anti marriage, but the social expectation that you be married is utter nonsense. The expectation should be that you be a loving parent, something that seems overlooked a good bit these days across all socioeconomic groups.

 

[BarryB1081]

Marriage doesn't magically make someone monogamous.

But it helps.

 

[Wendy79]

But it helps.

Perhaps for a few people. But if people think saying a few words and signing a paper make for a magical cure for sleeping around, they and their spouses shouldn't be surprised when someone new shows up.

 

[DanC78]

Perhaps for a few people. But if people think saying a few words and signing a paper make for a magical cure for sleeping around, they and their spouses shouldn't be surprised when someone new shows up.

It doesn’t help at all.

It’s just the social norm. And again, when kids are involved, I think the social norm is the best route to take. Not seeing a reason to be different.

Now, if you don’t love your SO, then yeah, probably best to not get married, just don’t be a dead beat parent.

Persoanlly, i would completely go insane if weren’t able to see my kids everyday, or would have another guy who does.

And for the record My wife and I both are divorcees; I don’t have kids from my first marriage but I do have a stepson. And as I mentioned earlier my parents were divorced.

Based on my experiences, and from what I can tell about Jameis and his GF, I think they should get married at this point....easy decision.

 

[BarryB1081]

Perhaps for a few people. But if people think saying a few words and signing a paper make for a magical cure for sleeping around, they and their spouses shouldn't be surprised when someone new shows up.

If someone is still entertaining the thought of sleeping around, then they shouldn’t be getting married in the first place. That would truly be a situation where that person is simply saying the words. That’s not marriage. A healthy marriage is far better for a kid’s development and there are readily available studies regarding the importance of married parents when it comes to poverty, substance abuse, academics, health, depression. I come from a “broken home” and my parents were divorced when I was 12. Prior to that I was a happy, well-adjusted kid. Post-divorce was devastating for me throughout High School and well into college. I always promised myself that I would not get married unless it was real and I was committed to making it last forever. My wife and I will be celebrating 25 years of marriage and we’ve raised three healthy and happy kids. I’ve been monogamous throughout, as has my wife because we both made a committtment long ago for the benefit of ourselves and our kids. Marriage is hard and it takes a lot of compromise, discipline and sacrifice. Unfortunately, like in many other areas of society, people are unwilling to put anything first except themselves.

 

[DanC78]

And I had no idea this thread was going to go in this direction when said, “now go get married”. That was said spontaneously without much thought...cray

 

[seminoleed]

Perhaps for a few people. But if people think saying a few words and signing a paper make for a magical cure for sleeping around, they and their spouses shouldn't be surprised when someone new shows up.

Marriage is way more than a "few words and a piece of paper." It involves things like commitment, trust, etc. Things it appears you don't understand.

 

[Wendy79]

Marriage is way more than a "few words and a piece of paper." It involves things like commitment, trust, etc. Things it appears you don't understand.

A successful long-term relationship requires the same things.

 

[Wendy79]

And all I'm saying is that if you struggle with monogamy and think the act of signing a paper is going to suddenly make you monogamous, you'll probably be disappointed. And I agree, you shouldn't get married to begin with.

 

[DanC78]

And all I'm saying is that if you struggle with monogamy and think the act of signing a paper is going to suddenly make you monogamous, you'll probably be disappointed. And I agree, you shouldn't get married to begin with.

Marriage makes it tougher to stay monagamas...it’s like other women immediately become more attractive.

*crossing fingers wife doesn’t read this

 

[Wendy79]

Marriage makes it tougher to stay monagamas...it’s like other women immediately become more attractive.

*crossing fingers wife doesn’t read this

Single women are sometimes more comfortable around married men. We're not flirting...we just aren't all that worried about impressing you.

 

[DanC78]

Single women are sometimes more comfortable around married men. We're not flirting...we just aren't all that worried about impressing you.

Wait...we areN’T supposed to agree on things.

How are the cats

 

[Wendy79]

Wait...we are supposed to agree on things.

How are the cats

I have a dog. He's good. Enjoying the snow.

 

[DanC78]

I have a dog. He's good. Enjoying the snow.

View embedded media

Cute!

Names?

 

[Wendy79]

Elsa is the Newfoundland (she's Gable's best friend), Gable (mine) is the tri color border collie mix, and Zoey is the Golden.

 

[DanC78]

Elsa is the Newfoundland (she's Gable's best friend), Gable (mine) is the tri color border collie mix, and Zoey is the Golden.

Who’s is Elas and Zoeys?

 

[Wendy79]

They belong to friends from the dog park.

 

[DanC78]

Gable is the cutest

 

[BoNoles]

I think he will be an awesome daddy.

Imagine him doing baby talk