UCLA or anyone in the med. field

[littleitch1]

Been in “time out” so I’m late to this thread.

First of all Manch man don’t know what to say but to hang in there, and i hope you can find some peace and joy!

As far as op’s Jim mentioned at the start of this thread i have a little different twist

Most of you know i take care of my dad who has Alzheimer’s

For the last three years it has been a tough go on me

This disease is not only tough on the affected but i think maybe more draining on those around them

And i know things will only get worse as it’s a progressive disease

Having to be the only one in my family who takes care of him i look at it in a different way

I know i would not want my children to have to go through what i am going through, as it truly takes a toll on you

With that being said i honestly feel i Would consider taking my own life so they could live theirs if this disease was to come my way

The emotional and financial burdens would be difficult for me to pass on to my loved ones!

Is it possible Jim took his own life as an act of love?

 

[Spenser1]

Gwin, it's a long painful process, everyone mourns differently. He was born on my birthday and was my best friend. After 8+ years of sobriety, I started drinking again. I would just start crying out of the blue. My wife and daughter would accuse me of loving him more because I cried over him and not them. The drinking led me to a 2nd DUI (of which I beat in court) and led me out of the house. My daughter found it convenient that the stricter of the 2 parents was out and her mother lets her do what she wants out of fear of losing another child. They need help, but won't get it. My wife is very bitter and I think uses me as a way to not have to look at herself.

I tried suicide after being alone and thinking of my son, I just wanted those two to stand over my dead body at my wake. Thankfully I took some pills that didn't do the job.

I am hanging in there, I've been sober over a year now and working. I won't get my license back to August of 2018 for refusing to blow. I've seen a grief counselor.

The pain and sorrow of losing a child and the "unknown" that plays games in my head is brutal on an hourly basis and is a topic for a separate thread.

Don't ever stop yourself from asking how I'm doing, sometimes if I just reply with a simple "fine" helps me out. Thanks for asking!

Hey Manch, I feel for you! FYI, there's a 'do it yourself' technique that, while no substitute for good therapy, can definitely help 'take the edge off' your suffering - I've seen it work for quite a few people. It's called "tapping," or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). You can google for sites that have videos on how to do it, it's quite simple but DOES help in my experience. And before anyone rags on me, or this technique, at least give it a try and THEN feel free to criticize it. Just sayin'.....
Good luck Manch, hope it gets better for you!

 

[FSU_UCLA]

It's called "tapping," or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)!

I support any intervention that helps people, but we should also be acknowledge that there is absolutely no scientific or medical support or rationale for tapping or any of the "energy flow" techniques. The Mindful Awareness Resource Center at UCLA does, however, have a lot of DIY resources for improving peace of mind and resiliency: http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations

 

[seminole97]

I support any intervention that helps people, but we should also be acknowledge that there is absolutely no scientific or medical support or rationale for tapping or any of the "energy flow" techniques.

Wouldn't it at least fall under the placebo effect?

I prefer scrunching my toes in plush carpet.

 

[FSU_UCLA]

Wouldn't it at least fall under the placebo effect?

I prefer scrunching my toes in plush carpet.

It definitely would, and I am strong proponent of the placebo effect. I just want people to find their own placebo effects, e.g., scrunching their toes in plush carpet, and to not be disappointed by techniques that have no justification.

 

[Banditking]

Evidence based versus empirically supported. These are different concepts.

Not a fan of quackery. I think expectancy (placebo) is often a powerful tool and should be explored for the benefit of the patient but not at the expense of scientific validity.

 

[Spenser1]

I support any intervention that helps people, but we should also be acknowledge that there is absolutely no scientific or medical support or rationale for tapping or any of the "energy flow" techniques. The Mindful Awareness Resource Center at UCLA does, however, have a lot of DIY resources for improving peace of mind and resiliency: http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations

Thanks for your response. I don't doubt what you say, in my research experience (in other areas) there is often little impetus to do research in areas that are either not financially rewarding OR don't fit the mainstream point of view. I've seen a number of 'real' scientists blackballed for not following the accepted 'truth' at the time (eg finding it very difficult to get grants, etc.) . Having said that, I would challenge you, or anyone, to spend just a few minutes trying this out objectively. IF you do that, you most likely be shocked at how effective it can be. I was personally gobsmacked when, just after I had a VERY painful back injury, I literally couldn't get out of bed. I had learned about ETF a short while before my injury, and since I couldn't get up, I figured, what the heck, give it a try. So I did it for about 5 - 10 minutes, and wow, the pain had gone WAY down (about 90% less as a rough guess) and I could get up without any problems other than some stiffness. So what I'm trying to say is, don't let whatever 'paradigm' you, or anyone else, believes in, keep you from trying 'new' things. It's the best way to grow, IMO. And you, being a total skeptic, would be the perfect person to try this (as I was when I hurt my back) as when you DO get some results it will be hard to deny them (or attribute them to the 'placebo' effect). The bottom line is, you make REAL progress, both personally and scientifically, when you go beyond the bounds of what you consider the possible into the 'impossible.' That's pretty much how all scientific revolutions occur. Richard Kuhn's "Structure of Scientific Revolutions" should be must reading for anyone wanting, and willing, to change the current paradigms (which is how REAL progress is made IMO).

 

[RTM58]

Of course you will, LOL. You can't help it.

Yep, reminds me of this....

 

[RTM58]

Of course people commit suicide without guns. But guns are an independent risk factor for suicide.

Consider the following scenario:

Person #1 has depression and suicidal thoughts. She has a gun in HER house.

Person #2 has depression and suicidal thoughts. She does not have a gun in HER house.

Person #1 is at a higher risk of suicide than the person #2.

Is she? Guys use guns, guys attempt more suicides and guys are more successful. It tends to skew the more likely question, no?

I agree kids shouldn't have unfettered access to firearms.

 

[RTM58]

Having to be the only one in my family who takes care of him I look at it in a different way. I know I would not want my children to have to go through what I am going through, as it truly takes a toll on you. With that being said I honestly feel I would consider taking my own life so they could live theirs if this disease was to come my way.
The emotional and financial burdens would be difficult for me to pass on to my loved ones! Is it possible Jim took his own life as an act of love?

This is exactly how I read it.

 

[RTM58]

Gwin, it's a long painful process, everyone mourns differently. He was born on my birthday and was my best friend. After 8+ years of sobriety, I started drinking again. I would just start crying out of the blue. My wife and daughter would accuse me of loving him more because I cried over him and not them. The drinking led me to a 2nd DUI (of which I beat in court) and led me out of the house. My daughter found it convenient that the stricter of the 2 parents was out and her mother lets her do what she wants out of fear of losing another child. They need help, but won't get it. My wife is very bitter and I think uses me as a way to not have to look at herself.

I tried suicide after being alone and thinking of my son, I just wanted those two to stand over my dead body at my wake. Thankfully I took some pills that didn't do the job.

I am hanging in there, I've been sober over a year now and working. I won't get my license back to August of 2018 for refusing to blow. I've seen a grief counselor.

The pain and sorrow of losing a child and the "unknown" that plays games in my head is brutal on an hourly basis and is a topic for a separate thread.

Don't ever stop yourself from asking how I'm doing, sometimes if I just reply with a simple "fine" helps me out. Thanks for asking!

Every day, I wake up and remind myself to be grateful of the simple things. I hope each day is better than your last.

 

[FSU_UCLA]

Is she? Guys use guns, guys attempt more suicides and guys are more successful. It tends to skew the more likely question, no?

I agree kids shouldn't have unfettered access to firearms.

Women attempt suicide at a much higher rate than men.

 

[HerdOfNoles]

Women attempt suicide at a much higher rate than men.

Yes, they do.

They seem to commit SI at an earlier age with multiple attempts but that's a little out of my practice area.

 

[RTM58]

Women attempt suicide at a much higher rate than men.

I didn't word that correctly. Males die from suicide three to five times more often than females. So given your correction, the numbers are skewed even more than I would have thought .

 

[FSU_UCLA]

I didn't word that correctly. Males die from suicide three to five times more often than females. So given your correction, the numbers are skewed even more than I would have thought .

The differentiating factor is that men use guns and women don’t.

 

[RTM58]

Well, that was my point.

 

[SKSnole]

As most of you know, two years ago, my 16 year old son comitted suicide. He was seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for some anger outbursts and no one saw the suicide coming. We think, but don't known for certain that the death of his grandparents and that he was possibly bullied at some points in his childhood, but we wI'll never know.

He took pills, alot of them, so it wasn't an accident. They were pills that we didn't know he had access to while he helped care for his grandfather, pills that my FIL had him stash away in case he needed extras on days when the pain was more severe.

The suicide had destroyed me to the point that I attempted suicide also. It destroyed my family and my wife of 27 years and 16 year old daughter won't communicate with me.

Sorry to hear that.