What's the best life advice you've ever been given?

[FSUATT]

Don’t sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.

It took me awhile, but I finally started following this advice. Since then, life has been so much better.

 

[mwfudge]

Stay off the hard drugs.

Earlier in life it was.....

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

 

[seminoledq]

Don't use the 4 W method when having sex.
Whip it in
Whip it out
Wipe it off
Worry

I listened all but two times. Proud father of two.

 

[Squirrel J.]

#1: Treat others as you would like to be treated

-Keep it between the mustard & the mayonnaise
-Aim small, miss small
-Don't piss into the wind
-Keep it real
-Buy low, sell high

 

[NoleLizards]

Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.

 

[LesClaypool]

Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.

I lol'd

 

[sloth43]

You don't have to be good, just be safe
- mom

Son, you can be right or you can be happy. Choose wisely
-Grandfather on the day of my wedding

 

[Bartdog]

Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.

I lol'd

 

[1handsomenole]

Arturo Lornicello told me just before I married his niece: "If you wanna have a successful marriage, I'm gonna share the 3 keys":

1. "Always bring home a paycheck, no matter how big or small. It shows her you are committed to the union"
2. "Try not to come home at the same time each night. It will create too much expectation in her"
3. "And most important, never, ever publish your telephone number in the phonebook. Your wife doesn't need any unnecessary phone calls....if you know what I mean"

 

[LesClaypool]

Arturo Lornicello told me just before I married his niece: "If you wanna have a successful marriage, I'm gonna share the 3 keys":

1. "Always bring home a paycheck, no matter how big or small. It shows her you are committed to the union"
2. "Try not to come home at the same time each night. It will create too much expectation in her"
3. "And most important, never, ever publish your telephone number in the phonebook. Your wife doesn't need any unnecessary phone calls....if you know what I mean"

No offense but that advice pretty much sucks.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

No offense but that advice pretty much sucks.

Yeah, Arturo is a creep.

 

[Rlarrick113]

Marry the right person, 90% of your happiness or misery will come from this one decision.

Sell when you Can, not when you Have to....

 

[VirginiaNole]

"Be polite, be professional, but be sure to have a plan to kill everyone you meet".

LOL......Love this!!

 

[SeaPA]

Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't spit into the wind.
Don't pull the mask, off that old Lone Ranger.