Define "good money"

[DanC78]

I admire the hell out of guys like that.

I had the opportunity to speak with Frank Blake earlier this week (humble brag). We were at a function with other CFOs from Atlanta.

Frank was by far and away the richest and most accomplished guy in the room. He was wearing a pair blue slacks that had to of been 10 + years old, and plain jane plaid shirt and old coat. He didn't look like a bum, but did look like a normal guy who worked for "the man" and carried a sack lunch to work everyday.

I was out by the vallet and when his car came it was a modest Cadillac sedan. Everyone else had Teslas, Range Rovers, Lexus, etc.

It was interesting picking up on his modesty.

 

[Nole Lou]

whats up dude....I'm in Cumming. I was giving an example to Goldie knowing she lived in Jax, or familiar with it at least.

Where in? The wealth/competitiveness/Jones Keeping Up With-ness in South Forsyth where I live is crazy.

 

[Nole Lou]

I had the opportunity to speak with Frank Blake earlier this week (humble brag). We were at a function with other CFOs from Atlanta.

Frank was by far and away the richest and most accomplished guy in the room. He was wearing a pair blue slacks that had to of been 10 + years old, and plain jane plaid shirt and old coat. He didn't look like a bum, but did look like a normal guy who worked for "the man" and carried a sack lunch to work everyday.

I was out by the vallet and when his car came it was a modest cadmic sedan. Everyone else had Teslas, Range Rovers, Lexus, etc.

It was interesting picking up on his modesty.

I'm sure it's not only modesty...for a lot of guys, that kind of thinking is an integral part of how they got where they are. I'm sure for many of them it's a conscious decision not to give up a what got you there, the same way many people don't stop working full time, or keep track of the office supplies, even when they've got more money than they'll ever need.

 

[DanC78]

Biggie got it...Mo Money, Mo Problems. The more you make, the nicer your cars tend to get, the nicer vacations you take. Outback turns into Chops. Hampton Inn turns into Ritz-Carlton.

The points that have nailed it so far:

1. How much do you owe The Man? When you don't have debt, you have more money.
2. How much are you paying yourself? Once you're debt-free, savings & investing need to be the top line item on your personal budget.

you hit the nail of the head on this one for me.

Espeically the outback one. Used to love it, now I'm like there is no way in hell I'm spending a dime of my money there, would much rather cook my own steak at home. Same thing with hotels. We did buy new cars, but didn't go crazy. 4Runner and Ford Escape....and I was still aggravated at the cost of these cars. I couldn't imagine dropping 60k or more on a car.

 

[DanC78]

Where in? The wealth/competitiveness/Jones Keeping Up With-ness in South Forsyth where I live is crazy.

West Forsyth. I don't feel that much of a keeping up with the Jones vibe over here. Most of the people are here because they make "decent money" and want to get the most bang for their buck....that and the schools. They brag about deals they find at garage sales and how they refurbished a piece of throw away furniture etc. They will however spend 5k on utility golf carts, 30k on their basements, and 20k+ on travel sports leagues for their kids.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

To me, this sounds like an absolutely horrible way to live.

I'd seriously want to jump off a building if that was my life.

Why live like you're poor so you can give more money to someone else when you die?

I'll be honest here - I don't want to live my life so that there's anything left at the end. For that matter, I don't even want to live my life so that I have all the fun in my 60s and 70s that I should have had in my 30s, 40s, and 50s. I want to do all the fun things while I (and my family) can enjoy those fun things. Then, when I'm old and infirm, I can sit back and smile while thinking about all the really cool stuff I got to do and enjoy. And at the very end, I'm okay if I die and the only thing of mine there is to split up is a bunch of pictures, magnets, pint glasses, etc from all the experiences I had when I was alive.

#truth

I do love giving money away, though. Tipping, donating, losing bets to the less fortunate.

 

[Nole Lou]

West Forsyth. I don't feel that much of a keeping up with the Jones vibe over here. Most of the people are here because they make "decent money" and want to get the most bang for their buck....that and the schools.

Smart. We've been in South Forsyth for 16 years of so. Loved it initially, when it was probably a lot more like where you live, and now I'm counting the days until we leave. We're moving in May when my second kid graduates high school and my youngest is graduating middle school.

 

[DanC78]

Smart. We've been in South Forsyth for 16 years of so. Loved it initially, when it was probably a lot more like where you live, and now I'm counting the days until we leave. We're moving in May when my second kid graduates high school and my youngest is graduating middle school.

Leaving the ATL metro; or going further North?

 

[FreeFlyNole]

I have a weird relationship with money. I do, very much wrap my sense of security in dollars. I grew up in a very weird situation. I lived with my very poor mother until I was 13, she worked as a manager in a hotel restaurant and made about $30-35K a year, we lived in crumby apartments or trailer parks my entire childhood. I didn't meet my father until I was 11. My Mom remarried a guy who didn't really contribute much financially and he was murdered when I was 12. My mom lost her mind, and was never the same, she never worked again. I went to live with my dad, my dad was rather well off, he was a senior executive in the software business and put me in a boarding school. As soon as I was old enough I left there and enlisted in the military.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad in my 20s and my mom died. I became more involved in my dads life in my 30s, and I watched him retire early and squander a small fortune. During the tech boom he was worth about $20mil, lived in a multi million dollar house, etc etc, now he is 74 and after several bad business deals survives solely on social security, I pay half of his rent.

I have made more money than I ever though I would. I crossed the $100k threshold in 2004, I crossed the $200K threshold in 2010, $300K in 14 and it's only gone up from there. This year to date I've made $443k with a quarter to go. And for a guy who eats three crayons for breakfast every day, that's a lot of money.

I realized early in my career that I'm not the smartest guy in the room usually. The one thing that I can control is how hard I work. I have never let anyone out work me.

I've always made "good money". That being said, I've always felt poor. I've always felt like it was a house of cards and it could be snatched out from under me at any second.

I've paid my house off, paid my cars off, we both drive very sensible cars. The jeans I wear are 4 years old, I have one pair. I don't wear jewlery or expensive watches, nor does my wife. We eat out about 3 times a month, and order sushi in once a month. The vacations we take are simple and generally paid for with hotel points and air miles. I max out my 401k, I invest in my kids 529k's. We don't spoil the kids or send them to expensive private schools and we are generally frugil people. I spurge on wine and guns and that's about it.

I don't think there is any amount of money that would make me feel rich. If I were to go back to making 1/3 of what I make now, or even less than that, I'd make it work somehow. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but I don't know how much things would change.

 

[SeaPA]

I have a weird relationship with money. I do, very much wrap my sense of security in dollars. I grew up in a very weird situation. I lived with my very poor mother until I was 13, she worked as a manager in a hotel restaurant and made about $30-35K a year, we lived in crumby apartments or trailer parks my entire childhood. I didn't meet my father until I was 11. My Mom remarried a guy who didn't really contribute much financially and he was murdered when I was 12. My mom lost her mind, and was never the same, she never worked again. I went to live with my dad, my dad was rather well off, he was a senior executive in the software business and put me in a boarding school. As soon as I was old enough I left there and enlisted in the military.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad in my 20s and my mom died. I became more involved in my dads life in my 30s, and I watched him retire early and squander a small fortune. During the tech boom he was worth about $20mil, lived in a multi million dollar house, etc etc, now he is 74 and after several bad business deals survives solely on social security, I pay half of his rent.

I have made more money than I ever though I would. I crossed the $100k threshold in 2004, I crossed the $200K threshold in 2010, $300K in 14 and it's only gone up from there. This year to date I've made $443k with a quarter to go. And for a guy who eats three crayons for breakfast every day, that's a lot of money.

I realized early in my career that I'm not the smartest guy in the room usually. The one thing that I can control is how hard I work. I have never let anyone out work me.

I've always made "good money". That being said, I've always felt poor. I've always felt like it was a house of cards and it could be snatched out from under me at any second.

I've paid my house off, paid my cars off, we both drive very sensible cars. The jeans I wear are 4 years old, I have one pair. I don't wear jewlery or expensive watches, nor does my wife. We eat out about 3 times a month, and order sushi in once a month. The vacations we take are simple and generally paid for with hotel points and air miles. I max out my 401k, I invest in my kids 529k's. We don't spoil the kids or send them to expensive private schools and we are generally frugil people. I spurge on wine and guns and that's about it.

I don't think there is any amount of money that would make me feel rich. If I were to go back to making 1/3 of what I make now, or even less than that, I'd make it work somehow. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but I don't know how much things would change.

In 40 years, your accountant will roll his eyes when you stroll into his office wearing shoes that are held together with duct tape.

 

[EveryoneBleedsGarnet]

I have a weird relationship with money. I do, very much wrap my sense of security in dollars. I grew up in a very weird situation. I lived with my very poor mother until I was 13, she worked as a manager in a hotel restaurant and made about $30-35K a year, we lived in crumby apartments or trailer parks my entire childhood. I didn't meet my father until I was 11. My Mom remarried a guy who didn't really contribute much financially and he was murdered when I was 12. My mom lost her mind, and was never the same, she never worked again. I went to live with my dad, my dad was rather well off, he was a senior executive in the software business and put me in a boarding school. As soon as I was old enough I left there and enlisted in the military.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad in my 20s and my mom died. I became more involved in my dads life in my 30s, and I watched him retire early and squander a small fortune. During the tech boom he was worth about $20mil, lived in a multi million dollar house, etc etc, now he is 74 and after several bad business deals survives solely on social security, I pay half of his rent.

I have made more money than I ever though I would. I crossed the $100k threshold in 2004, I crossed the $200K threshold in 2010, $300K in 14 and it's only gone up from there. This year to date I've made $443k with a quarter to go. And for a guy who eats three crayons for breakfast every day, that's a lot of money.

I realized early in my career that I'm not the smartest guy in the room usually. The one thing that I can control is how hard I work. I have never let anyone out work me.

I've always made "good money". That being said, I've always felt poor. I've always felt like it was a house of cards and it could be snatched out from under me at any second.

I've paid my house off, paid my cars off, we both drive very sensible cars. The jeans I wear are 4 years old, I have one pair. I don't wear jewlery or expensive watches, nor does my wife. We eat out about 3 times a month, and order sushi in once a month. The vacations we take are simple and generally paid for with hotel points and air miles. I max out my 401k, I invest in my kids 529k's. We don't spoil the kids or send them to expensive private schools and we are generally frugil people. I spurge on wine and guns and that's about it.

I don't think there is any amount of money that would make me feel rich. If I were to go back to making 1/3 of what I make now, or even less than that, I'd make it work somehow. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but I don't know how much things would change.

Sounds like you live way under your means, where are you putting all of that money? What do you do? My guess is sales.

 

[Nole Lou]

Leaving the ATL metro; or going further North?

No, actually the opposite. It's going to sound weird in contrast to "complaining" about the wealth around me, but there's a method to my madness. We're moving into downtown Alpharetta.

I just can't live the suburban subdivision lifestyle anymore. Because of unorganized, unrestrained development where I live, you're in traffic ALL the time, and the schools are bursting at the seams. I've got to get in my car for everything, and it takes a ridiculous amount of time to go a couple miles. And at the same time...there's nothing here. Just Chipotles and Targets and Chilis, etc.

What they've got going in downtown Alpharetta is just about my ideal way of life. Walkable, diverse food and entertainment options, community events, cuts my commute in half. It's not cheap, but we can afford it. This move is literally the first thing we've ever done where we've approached it as something other than "what is the cheapest, most frugal way to accomplish what we want to do."

We just sat down and said, we're 45, the kids are almost out...how long do we deny ourselves, and to what end? Maybe at some point, as long as it's not financially irresponsible, it's worth it to actually enjoy our lifestyle a little bit.

I had kind of pictured giving it another 6-10 years or so, and then getting a cool place somewhere, maybe even in more of a downtown of a city. But that's the trend now people are looking for, and the costs for those kind of places are skyrocketing. When I look at cool places to live in-town in Atlanta or Nashville or Chattanooga...they have been skyrocketing, faster than I'm going to be ready to pay for them. I laugh, because you can still find posts from like 2010 that talk about Decatur being an affordable in-town option...now it's probably going to cost you half a million to buy a 40 year old condo in Decatur.

Obviously, our incomes are going to increase year or year for a while, but I'm not really seeing myself ever catching up to a $700k home. So it's a combination of "Why are we putting ourselves through this another decade" and feeling like we need to get on the last helicopter out.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

I have a weird relationship with money. I do, very much wrap my sense of security in dollars. I grew up in a very weird situation. I lived with my very poor mother until I was 13, she worked as a manager in a hotel restaurant and made about $30-35K a year, we lived in crumby apartments or trailer parks my entire childhood. I didn't meet my father until I was 11. My Mom remarried a guy who didn't really contribute much financially and he was murdered when I was 12. My mom lost her mind, and was never the same, she never worked again. I went to live with my dad, my dad was rather well off, he was a senior executive in the software business and put me in a boarding school. As soon as I was old enough I left there and enlisted in the military.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad in my 20s and my mom died. I became more involved in my dads life in my 30s, and I watched him retire early and squander a small fortune. During the tech boom he was worth about $20mil, lived in a multi million dollar house, etc etc, now he is 74 and after several bad business deals survives solely on social security, I pay half of his rent.

I have made more money than I ever though I would. I crossed the $100k threshold in 2004, I crossed the $200K threshold in 2010, $300K in 14 and it's only gone up from there. This year to date I've made $443k with a quarter to go. And for a guy who eats three crayons for breakfast every day, that's a lot of money.

I realized early in my career that I'm not the smartest guy in the room usually. The one thing that I can control is how hard I work. I have never let anyone out work me.

I've always made "good money". That being said, I've always felt poor. I've always felt like it was a house of cards and it could be snatched out from under me at any second.

I've paid my house off, paid my cars off, we both drive very sensible cars. The jeans I wear are 4 years old, I have one pair. I don't wear jewlery or expensive watches, nor does my wife. We eat out about 3 times a month, and order sushi in once a month. The vacations we take are simple and generally paid for with hotel points and air miles. I max out my 401k, I invest in my kids 529k's. We don't spoil the kids or send them to expensive private schools and we are generally frugil people. I spurge on wine and guns and that's about it.

I don't think there is any amount of money that would make me feel rich. If I were to go back to making 1/3 of what I make now, or even less than that, I'd make it work somehow. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but I don't know how much things would change.

Dude. That's a hell of a story. Good on you.

 

[LesClaypool]

I have a weird relationship with money. I do, very much wrap my sense of security in dollars. I grew up in a very weird situation. I lived with my very poor mother until I was 13, she worked as a manager in a hotel restaurant and made about $30-35K a year, we lived in crumby apartments or trailer parks my entire childhood. I didn't meet my father until I was 11. My Mom remarried a guy who didn't really contribute much financially and he was murdered when I was 12. My mom lost her mind, and was never the same, she never worked again. I went to live with my dad, my dad was rather well off, he was a senior executive in the software business and put me in a boarding school. As soon as I was old enough I left there and enlisted in the military.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad in my 20s and my mom died. I became more involved in my dads life in my 30s, and I watched him retire early and squander a small fortune. During the tech boom he was worth about $20mil, lived in a multi million dollar house, etc etc, now he is 74 and after several bad business deals survives solely on social security, I pay half of his rent.

I have made more money than I ever though I would. I crossed the $100k threshold in 2004, I crossed the $200K threshold in 2010, $300K in 14 and it's only gone up from there. This year to date I've made $443k with a quarter to go. And for a guy who eats three crayons for breakfast every day, that's a lot of money.

I realized early in my career that I'm not the smartest guy in the room usually. The one thing that I can control is how hard I work. I have never let anyone out work me.

I've always made "good money". That being said, I've always felt poor. I've always felt like it was a house of cards and it could be snatched out from under me at any second.

I've paid my house off, paid my cars off, we both drive very sensible cars. The jeans I wear are 4 years old, I have one pair. I don't wear jewlery or expensive watches, nor does my wife. We eat out about 3 times a month, and order sushi in once a month. The vacations we take are simple and generally paid for with hotel points and air miles. I max out my 401k, I invest in my kids 529k's. We don't spoil the kids or send them to expensive private schools and we are generally frugil people. I spurge on wine and guns and that's about it.

I don't think there is any amount of money that would make me feel rich. If I were to go back to making 1/3 of what I make now, or even less than that, I'd make it work somehow. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but I don't know how much things would change.

Way to be an overcomer!!!

 

[DanC78]

I have a weird relationship with money. I do, very much wrap my sense of security in dollars. I grew up in a very weird situation. I lived with my very poor mother until I was 13, she worked as a manager in a hotel restaurant and made about $30-35K a year, we lived in crumby apartments or trailer parks my entire childhood. I didn't meet my father until I was 11. My Mom remarried a guy who didn't really contribute much financially and he was murdered when I was 12. My mom lost her mind, and was never the same, she never worked again. I went to live with my dad, my dad was rather well off, he was a senior executive in the software business and put me in a boarding school. As soon as I was old enough I left there and enlisted in the military.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad in my 20s and my mom died. I became more involved in my dads life in my 30s, and I watched him retire early and squander a small fortune. During the tech boom he was worth about $20mil, lived in a multi million dollar house, etc etc, now he is 74 and after several bad business deals survives solely on social security, I pay half of his rent.

I have made more money than I ever though I would. I crossed the $100k threshold in 2004, I crossed the $200K threshold in 2010, $300K in 14 and it's only gone up from there. This year to date I've made $443k with a quarter to go. And for a guy who eats three crayons for breakfast every day, that's a lot of money.

I realized early in my career that I'm not the smartest guy in the room usually. The one thing that I can control is how hard I work. I have never let anyone out work me.

I've always made "good money". That being said, I've always felt poor. I've always felt like it was a house of cards and it could be snatched out from under me at any second.

I've paid my house off, paid my cars off, we both drive very sensible cars. The jeans I wear are 4 years old, I have one pair. I don't wear jewlery or expensive watches, nor does my wife. We eat out about 3 times a month, and order sushi in once a month. The vacations we take are simple and generally paid for with hotel points and air miles. I max out my 401k, I invest in my kids 529k's. We don't spoil the kids or send them to expensive private schools and we are generally frugil people. I spurge on wine and guns and that's about it.

I don't think there is any amount of money that would make me feel rich. If I were to go back to making 1/3 of what I make now, or even less than that, I'd make it work somehow. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but I don't know how much things would change.

Great post, Free; appreciate you sharing.

Sorry for the loss of your mother and the events that unfolded in her life, very unfortunate.

I can relate to your story a LOT. Grew up with single mom and 3 sisters, and we were very poor; subsidized housing, mom worked 2-3 jobs, I swept floors at a sandwich shop in the neighborhood during the weeknights (I did play sports so it was the nights there were no practice and during the summers), and picked up beach mats and gassed up waverunners on the weekends. Made 5 bucks at night at the sandwich shop and 10 bucks a day on the beach. This started when I was in the 5th grade.

My dad had several failed business up until I was the age of 15. At that point he started doing very well as an executive recruiter, at the same time my mom graduated as a nurse at the ripe age of 38.

Even with my Dads success (he was making 7 figures, or close too for about 10 years running) he never "spoiled" me. I continued to work and paid for most all my cloths, weekend money, and events like school dances etc. He paid for one year of college when I was at TCC. I paid for the remaining portion. Had to work and was not in a fraternity because of this. This put a major struggle on my relationship with my father. He was literally buying houses on the water, new fancy cars and boats, vacationing with clients for 4 months of the year, and living the dream. I was struggling in school and building debt.

Fast forward, once I started making a little bit of money I blew all of it, I had been waiting so long to not be poor. Now I'm a few months from 40 and debt free and I don't have hardly anything invested.

So mad I blew all of my money; and again, I was never a big car guy, but I did go out to eat a lot, picked up everyones bar tab, and traveled (and it was to dumb places, NOLA, Biloxi, Atlanta, etc).

Wish I was more structured.

Went to lunch with a guy yesterday and he said his wife put $200 in a account that had a modest return. Said she did it from 19-29 and was consistent. Now she is in her mid 40s and it's worth 180k lol

 

[LesClaypool]

Not (really) mocking you or Free, Dan...I promise. That said, I couldn't help but hear this as I was reading each of your posts:

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

 

[Random_John]

Another thing that gets me is when I see people may age (39) or close to it have their parents contribute heavily in their financial well being. I know a guy who got a new car because his mom bought it for him. This man is in his 30's. I know others who have had bills paid off and trucks purchased and rent paid.

I can't help but wonder whatever happened to hard work and earning your keep? At the same time I am jealous those individuals have had things handed to them. For me, it's odd, to see grown people still have their parents take care of them.

 

[Nole Lou]

Another thing that gets me is when I see people may age (39) or close to it have their parents contribute heavily in their financial well being. I know a guy who got a new car because his mom bought it for him. This man is in his 30's. I know others who have had bills paid off and trucks purchased and rent paid.

I can't help but wonder whatever happened to hard work and earning your keep? At the same time I am jealous those individuals have had things handed to them. For me, it's odd, to see grown people still have their parents take care of them.

Yeah, this is something I never saw or appreciated until I moved to a well off area, and it blew my mind. I literally didn't know that existed, and then I'm meeting people who's parents give them $75k for a down payment, or are paying for their grandchildren's college, or even taking the entire family on trips to Europe or cruises. I don't resent it really, but I never really appreciated that so many people had that in their lives. It makes a huge difference in lifestyle between people making the same income.

I never got a dime from my parents, not even a wedding present. However we did get a couple small (in this context) gifts from my father in law early in our marriage when a particular need (home down payment and a car purchase) coincided with a particularly good year for him in the stock market and he really wanted to make a gift. Still, we were still in our 20s at the time, and he really pushed it, I think also because we lived far away and there wasn't much they could do for us as far as traditional help.

That said, while I don't ever see a scenario where I would buy an adult child a car or drop six figures on them, I would like to be able to do some things for them if we do well enough. I like the idea of potentially having a vacation property that we could all use or financing a vacation where we could all be together, or potentially be able to give them a small low/no interest loan (only if I wasn't really overly worried about them paying back). I like the idea of being able to help in ways my parents couldn't, but not to partially finance their lifestyle.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Another thing that gets me is when I see people may age (39) or close to it have their parents contribute heavily in their financial well being. I know a guy who got a new car because his mom bought it for him. This man is in his 30's. I know others who have had bills paid off and trucks purchased and rent paid.

I can't help but wonder whatever happened to hard work and earning your keep? At the same time I am jealous those individuals have had things handed to them. For me, it's odd, to see grown people still have their parents take care of them.

Losers
My parents did a great job raising us and sacrificed a lot. More than I realized. I tell them now I hope they just enjoy life and spend every dime.

 

[DanC78]

Another thing that gets me is when I see people may age (39) or close to it have their parents contribute heavily in their financial well being. I know a guy who got a new car because his mom bought it for him. This man is in his 30's. I know others who have had bills paid off and trucks purchased and rent paid.

I can't help but wonder whatever happened to hard work and earning your keep? At the same time I am jealous those individuals have had things handed to them. For me, it's odd, to see grown people still have their parents take care of them.

If my Dad wanted to buy me a car, and it wouldn't effect him financially, I'd take it. Sometimes our parents just want to do something nice for us and then watch us appreciate it. I wouldn't want to deny them that, being serious.

 

[DanC78]

Losers
My parents did a great job raising us and sacrificed a lot. More than I realized. I tell them now I hope they just enjoy life and spend every dime.

And then there are those who are lazy leaches and are running their parents into the poor house. Those folks are not good people.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

I have a weird relationship with money. I do, very much wrap my sense of security in dollars. I grew up in a very weird situation. I lived with my very poor mother until I was 13, she worked as a manager in a hotel restaurant and made about $30-35K a year, we lived in crumby apartments or trailer parks my entire childhood. I didn't meet my father until I was 11. My Mom remarried a guy who didn't really contribute much financially and he was murdered when I was 12. My mom lost her mind, and was never the same, she never worked again. I went to live with my dad, my dad was rather well off, he was a senior executive in the software business and put me in a boarding school. As soon as I was old enough I left there and enlisted in the military.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad in my 20s and my mom died. I became more involved in my dads life in my 30s, and I watched him retire early and squander a small fortune. During the tech boom he was worth about $20mil, lived in a multi million dollar house, etc etc, now he is 74 and after several bad business deals survives solely on social security, I pay half of his rent.

I have made more money than I ever though I would. I crossed the $100k threshold in 2004, I crossed the $200K threshold in 2010, $300K in 14 and it's only gone up from there. This year to date I've made $443k with a quarter to go. And for a guy who eats three crayons for breakfast every day, that's a lot of money.

I realized early in my career that I'm not the smartest guy in the room usually. The one thing that I can control is how hard I work. I have never let anyone out work me.

I've always made "good money". That being said, I've always felt poor. I've always felt like it was a house of cards and it could be snatched out from under me at any second.

I've paid my house off, paid my cars off, we both drive very sensible cars. The jeans I wear are 4 years old, I have one pair. I don't wear jewlery or expensive watches, nor does my wife. We eat out about 3 times a month, and order sushi in once a month. The vacations we take are simple and generally paid for with hotel points and air miles. I max out my 401k, I invest in my kids 529k's. We don't spoil the kids or send them to expensive private schools and we are generally frugil people. I spurge on wine and guns and that's about it.

I don't think there is any amount of money that would make me feel rich. If I were to go back to making 1/3 of what I make now, or even less than that, I'd make it work somehow. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but I don't know how much things would change.

Wow, tough to lose that much money. Was it a matter of making desperate bets to try to get back to where he was, like a gambler might?

My current situation sounds like yours. I'm frugal as hell. Modest cars, shop for non-work clothes at Kohls, don't spend a ton on lavish meals, etc.

The one area I've loosened up is vacations. Used to watch the money until I realized that those were the times to let it go. No sense on going on the big trip then worrying about what stuff costs once you're there. Now I don't even ask. And I enjoy it a lot more and know my kids do too.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

If my Dad wanted to buy me a car, and it wouldn't effect him financially, I'd take it. Sometimes our parents just want to do something nice for us and then watch us appreciate it. I wouldn't want to deny them that, being serious.

I read the post as parents funding their kids' extravagant lifestyles. I don't see anything wrong with parents helping out on occasion if they are able and willing.

 

[Nole Lou]

I read the post as parents funding their kids' extravagant lifestyles. I don't see anything wrong with parents helping out on occasion if they are able and willing.

Yeah, it's all degrees. It's one thing for parents to chip in $10k on a $150k house for some newlyweds. It's another thing for parents to toss in $80k for a $700k mini McMansion for their 50 year old "kid".

I'm not saying that they aren't both ok...do what you want to do. It's just that I couldn't imagine being on either end of the latter version.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Yeah, it's all degrees. It's one thing for parents to chip in $10k on a $150k house for some newlyweds. It's another thing for parents to toss in $80k for a $700k mini McMansion for their 50 year old "kid".

I'm not saying that they aren't both ok...do what you want to do. It's just that I couldn't imagine being on either end of the latter version.

Me either.
I'm also often shocked at the vehicles in our local HS parking lot.

 

[DanC78]

Me either.
I'm also often shocked at the vehicles in our local HS parking lot.

This for sure...it’s insane!

 

[LesClaypool]

Me either.
I'm also often shocked at the vehicles in our local HS parking lot.

Finally someone willing to call these teachers out on their excesses!!!! Long overdue.

 

[DanC78]

Yeah, it's all degrees. It's one thing for parents to chip in $10k on a $150k house for some newlyweds. It's another thing for parents to toss in $80k for a $700k mini McMansion for their 50 year old "kid".

I'm not saying that they aren't both ok...do what you want to do. It's just that I couldn't imagine being on either end of the latter version.

I known person who spends their cash as fast as it comes in. They have incredibly nice things and do great stuff and their kids drive awesome cars....no big deal.

However: hey just had a small crisis in their life where they needed 30k. They had to go around asking others for the money.

Shocked me pretty good.

 

[FSU_Chris]

500k with minimal debt

 

[FreeFlyNole]

Sounds like you live way under your means, where are you putting all of that money? What do you do? My guess is sales.

Sales. I have a few rental properties, 401k, 529k(s), mixed stocks, and I've done a bit of real estate spec investment, but just one house at a time with a builder that I've known for years.

 

[mcgrawfsu]

Grew up in a divorced, low-income household. Started mowing lawns for $10/each and working as a helper for a boat upholstery shop when I was 12. Started 2 jobs when I was 14 so I could work 40 hours a week. I think labor laws limited it to 30, so I figured if I worked at 2 different places nobody would catch on. Eventually consolidated to one job managing a Taco Bell 40 hours a week while I was in high school. Bought a cruddy car and saved my money. Went to FSU and stayed in the cheapest apartment I could find (Berkshire Manor, yuck). Graduated in 3 years while working 2 jobs, moved to Broward County to be close to my girlfriend (now wife of 15 years) and other friends from college. Paid off my first house in 3 years, paid cash for my next house, somehow flipped that for a nice profit just as the market started to decline and got a steal on the house I'm in now as the market was tumbling.

Up until the past couple of years, I drove cheaper cars and didn't spend much money. Finally decided to buy a luxury vehicle, although my wife still likes her Honda Pilot. We live in a very nice community and are probably the youngest family, or close to it.

After 10 years with the same firm, I decided in December of 2009 to take a risk and start my own company. There have been ups and downs, but I really enjoy calling the shots.

My neighbors "accidentally" opened my tax returns a couple years ago and apparently figured out that I was a legitimate business owner and not a drug dealer. That was a funny conversation.

First time I crossed 6 figures was 2001 when I was 24 years old. The first time my weekly paycheck (take home) was over $10k, my wife thought it was a mistake and told me to talk to my payroll ASAP before they accused me of being dishonest. This year I will turn 40 and feel that I make enough money to live comfortably and invest. Our mortgage will be paid off in a few years, my wife's car was purchased with cash, and my car has a loan just because they gave me 0% interest.

Every now and then I like to sit in the dark in my living room having a few glasses of Blanton's and just think back to my childhood and where I am now. I had 3 different outfits to wear to school, my shoes were usually purchased at the dollar store, and had to work for everything I wanted.

 

[FreeFlyNole]

Wow, tough to lose that much money. Was it a matter of making desperate bets to try to get back to where he was, like a gambler might?

My current situation sounds like yours. I'm frugal as hell. Modest cars, shop for non-work clothes at Kohls, don't spend a ton on lavish meals, etc.

The one area I've loosened up is vacations. Used to watch the money until I realized that those were the times to let it go. No sense on going on the big trip then worrying about what stuff costs once you're there. Now I don't even ask. And I enjoy it a lot more and know my kids do too.

He was highly leveraged in tech stocks, lost a ton there, got divorced twice in the past 15 years, invested in two businesses that went tits up. bought a couple of properties at the top of the market.... just one hit after another.

Koohls is for rich people, I shop at TJMax.

Once on vacation I usually loosen up.

 

[cmanole]

Damn Free, sorry about the hell that must of been. Always wondered about your old man. I figured he had some money when you told us about the gummy energy bears but then you never mentioned it again so I wondered...

 

[billanole]

I have a weird relationship with money. I do, very much wrap my sense of security in dollars. I grew up in a very weird situation. I lived with my very poor mother until I was 13, she worked as a manager in a hotel restaurant and made about $30-35K a year, we lived in crumby apartments or trailer parks my entire childhood. I didn't meet my father until I was 11. My Mom remarried a guy who didn't really contribute much financially and he was murdered when I was 12. My mom lost her mind, and was never the same, she never worked again. I went to live with my dad, my dad was rather well off, he was a senior executive in the software business and put me in a boarding school. As soon as I was old enough I left there and enlisted in the military.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad in my 20s and my mom died. I became more involved in my dads life in my 30s, and I watched him retire early and squander a small fortune. During the tech boom he was worth about $20mil, lived in a multi million dollar house, etc etc, now he is 74 and after several bad business deals survives solely on social security, I pay half of his rent.

I have made more money than I ever though I would. I crossed the $100k threshold in 2004, I crossed the $200K threshold in 2010, $300K in 14 and it's only gone up from there. This year to date I've made $443k with a quarter to go. And for a guy who eats three crayons for breakfast every day, that's a lot of money.

I realized early in my career that I'm not the smartest guy in the room usually. The one thing that I can control is how hard I work. I have never let anyone out work me.

I've always made "good money". That being said, I've always felt poor. I've always felt like it was a house of cards and it could be snatched out from under me at any second.

I've paid my house off, paid my cars off, we both drive very sensible cars. The jeans I wear are 4 years old, I have one pair. I don't wear jewlery or expensive watches, nor does my wife. We eat out about 3 times a month, and order sushi in once a month. The vacations we take are simple and generally paid for with hotel points and air miles. I max out my 401k, I invest in my kids 529k's. We don't spoil the kids or send them to expensive private schools and we are generally frugil people. I spurge on wine and guns and that's about it.

I don't think there is any amount of money that would make me feel rich. If I were to go back to making 1/3 of what I make now, or even less than that, I'd make it work somehow. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but I don't know how much things would change.

Wow. You are to be commended for making your on way forward. Good stuff. I have seen some of your posts over the years giving away tickets and other examples of genuine generosity. Good on you, man.
As you realize, we are all just one moment removed from losing all of the worldly “things” or even worse, our health or family. Something tells me you will be fine no matter what crosses your path.

 

[billanole]

#truth

I do love giving money away, though. Tipping, donating, losing bets to the less fortunate.

Nice. It really is more rewarding to give than to receive.

 

[goldmom]

Not having kids would certainly create a lot less happiness in my life.

I'm a huge believer in family and kids, but there's no doubt that changes everything. 1200sf doesn't work, driving unreliable cars doesn't work anymore, living someplace with bad/mediocre schools doesn't work anymore. Just trying to raise kids in a nice space, safe area, with good schools is a huge game changer that can easily take you from a $90k nut to a $350k nut for your home.

I also think that the "keeping up with the Joneses" aspect gets ramped up big time with kids. I don't give a crap what neighbors think of the car I drive. But when you start hearing about the vacations other families are going on, some of the programs their kids participate in, you do want your kids to have similar opportunities. Our kids have certainly never believed we were rich, but I've also never wanted them to feel like they were poor either. I'm cheap as hell...but I've always wanted our kids to think of us as thrifty, not poor. However, providing them a "middle" range upbringing is still pretty aggressive when the top end is set by kids with multiple horses or whose hobby is auto racing.

I hear what you're saying. When we first started moving around for corporate promotions the capital gains law mandated that we buy increasingly expensive houses, and with living in the costly NY and LA markets, we soon ended up having to go over $500K - in 1990. That was a lot of money 27 years ago and more house than we needed. (4800 sq.ft.) With two kids we were only interested in the best school districts, we needed two college funds, two cars, two IRAs, etc., etc. so you're shoveling it out the door as quickly as you're hauling it in.

A lot of people confuse salary rich with rich. That's another pitfall.

 

[Bud Fox]

I hear what you're saying. When we first started moving around for corporate promotions the capital gains law mandated that we buy increasingly expensive houses, and with living in the costly NY and LA markets, we soon ended up having to go over $500K - in 1990. That was a lot of money 27 years ago and more house than we needed. (4800 sq.ft.) With two kids we were only interested in the best school districts, we needed two college funds, two cars, two IRAs, etc., etc. so you're shoveling it out the door as quickly as you're hauling it in.

A lot of people confuse salary rich with rich. That's another pitfall.

I am a long time Investment Advisor, and I have always done well. My life changed when I met Dave Ramsey, and I changed my entire thought process with one sentence he told me.

"We spend money we don't have, buying things we don't need, to impress people we don't even like"

Incredible accuracy, and since then, my life and outlook is all about quality of life.

Good conversations in this thread.

 

[12Nole]

I am a long time Investment Advisor, and I have always done well. My life changed when I met Dave Ramsey, and I changed my entire thought process with one sentence he told me.

"We spend money we don't have, buying things we don't need, to impress people we don't even like"

Incredible accuracy, and since then, my life and outlook is all about quality of life.

Good conversations in this thread.

A lot of people could do themselves a favor by reading Dave Ramsey & others like him. It's basic common sense knowledge that everyone, regardless of status and financially well-being, should read or hear.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

A lot of people could do themselves a favor by reading Dave Ramsey & others like him. It's basic common sense knowledge that everyone, regardless of status and financially well-being, should read or hear.

Ain’t that the truth? While I find his schtick a little extreme, almost everyone should listen to his basics.