me too

[goldmom]

I believe it is safe to say that 100% of women have endured at the very least some sort of harassment, propositions, or comments that were out of bounds. What's different now as opposed to 30-40 years ago is that women just sort of shook their heads and had to shake it off, avoiding the jerk to the extent possible. Then you endured getting the bitch reputation.
Then there was the whole "Excuse me a-hole,what did you just say to me?", Which evolved in the 90's Phase.

I do stress that regardless of recent events in Hollywood this problem is definitely smaller than it was when I first entered the work force.

What I am beginning to see now is women pulling away from that and going snowflake.
Jerks need to be called out- Harvey Weinstein is just now being served his well deserved consequences. Same with Cosby, who's essentially ruined as well.
I have hope this effort will force a re-set.

 

[nynole1]

What's truly shocking is just how many people knew about Weinstein and said nothing about it. I guess as long as the money is green...

 

[BelemNole]

People said nothing about it because he could destroy careers. Same reason the girl in my office didn't say anything about the CEO.

 

[littleitch1]

Me too



Groped in the dog park by a friends husband about 6 years ago. Just walked away. Was too shocked at the time to do anything else.

Should have called itch to kick his ass for ya!

 

[Flie]

"Me too"

 

[RTM58]

Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, and others tell the NYT that Harvey Weinstein sexually harassed them as far back as the 90's, but then use the Yuppie Nuremberg defense. "I just needed to pay the mortgage."

Paltrow in 1998: "I do all my movies for Harvey Weinstein … and I’m lucky to do them there. But he will coerce you to do a thing or two.”

People knew, people said something, but nobody cared. They just took the money.



2012


2012




Bizarrely, Weinstein's contract even allowed sexual harassment as long as he settled claims & wasn't charged with crime.

Hilarie Burton claims Weinstein protegé Ben Affleck groped her breast on TRL in 2003 'when she was just a kid.' 'I had to laugh so I wouldn't cry'

 

[noleclone2]

While I have neither sexually assaulted nor sexually harassed a woman, I have certainly partaken in locker room talk that may come up over an outfit someone was wearing or attractiveness of a new hire or perhaps a woman in another office within the company. Looking at it now, it is something I would like to never do again, really for two reasons: 1) By participating in such a conversation, you are really devaluing and demeaning a coworker, and reducing her role In the company as someone who is there to be a sex object. 2) By joining in you are helping to continue and legitimize this demeaning view of coworkers to other people that may be bad hombres and escalate their behavior.

 

[RangerNole]

What's truly shocking is just how many people knew about Weinstein and said nothing about it. I guess as long as the money is green...

This is more shocking to me than the fact that Hollywood has this type of thing going on. We are constantly lectured by the media and the Hollywood elite about taking a stand, speaking up etc. and here you have one guy that EVERYONE now says they knew did this and I would bet my life he is not the only one. I understand the concern for "your career" but having the ability to speak up when you have something to lose is what they call character. Having a daughter who has the dream of Broadway this type of thing concerns me; it is why she already knows how to throw a solid throat punch. The opposite side of this is throwing everything into a category of sexual assault; which the military has done. Now I know these types of things go on; but in my 32 years in uniform, roughly 30 years of that in some level of leadership I have seen or had proof of true sexual assault very few times.

 

[DanC78]

This is more shocking to me than the fact that Hollywood has this type of thing going on. We are constantly lectured by the media and the Hollywood elite about taking a stand, speaking up etc. and here you have one guy that EVERYONE now says they knew did this and I would bet my life he is not the only one. I understand the concern for "your career" but having the ability to speak up when you have something to lose is what they call character. Having a daughter who has the dream of Broadway this type of thing concerns me; it is why she already knows how to throw a solid throat punch. The opposite side of this is throwing everything into a category of sexual assault; which the military has done. Now I know these types of things go on; but in my 32 years in uniform, roughly 30 years of that in some level of leadership I have seen or had proof of true sexual assault very few times.

Right there with you.

And now it makes complete sense as to why Ashley Judge and Scarlet Johansson and others are so angry. They have some serious pent up frustration at the world and controlling men.

It all is becoming a little bit more clear.

 

[LesClaypool]

I understand the concern for "your career" but having the ability to speak up when you have something to lose is what they call character.

This necessarily implies that you think not speaking up means you don't have character then. Or am I reading too much into that sentence?

 

[alaskanseminole]

Can you come up with a better way to call attention to this issue?

Don't ask the NFL this.

 

[seminole97]

Sad.

I guess the ban was lifted?

 

[DanC78]

I guess the ban was lifted?

Ah...I was wondering why the absence.

 

[SoddyNole]

I guess the ban was lifted?

 

[maddog69]

 

[GoNolesTX]

#Me too. (Yes, I have been sexually harassed at work by female managers in the far past.)

You can't do that sir. No taking attention away from the womens. Women can't sexually harass, they're just exacting revenge for 1000's of years of oppression.

/satire

 

[RangerNole]

This necessarily implies that you think not speaking up means you don't have character then. Or am I reading too much into that sentence?

Sorry I had you on ignore for a while and just saw your post when I wasn't signed in. While there are outliers yes I am pretty much saying that. This isn't a guy that had a bad year and groped a few females. This is a guy that raped a lot of women, sexually harassed even more, and to top it off everyone in Hollywood knew about it. So you tell me how if all these people knew about it no one had the guts to speak up? What do you call that? We aren't talking about no names here, the lists of women who had issues with HW is long and has some very big time people on it.
Sorry but if something is wrong you speak up and do something about. Even the NYPD knew about this guy but was afraid to act because of who he was; so yea if you know a dude is raping and sexually harassing women as part of his lifestyle then not speaking up is a lack of character and courage.

 

[nynole1]

People said nothing about it because he could destroy careers. Same reason the girl in my office didn't say anything about the CEO.

Even people like Witherspoon and Lawrence? They have been huge stars for years, never a peep. Their careers would have been fine.

 

[billanole]

The term "casting couch" has been around as long as has Hollywood.
It has been ignored/excused just as long.
To pretend otherwise is pretense.
If you wanted parts or work, you went to the couch.
For men to claim they were never aware is to show ignorance or compliance.
For men to think all the woman had to do is speak up is fantasy.
Men in America have never been subject to the casting couch and the system that kept women quiet if they wanted work.

 

[NoleLizards]

The term "casting couch" has been around as has Hollywood.
It has been ignored/excused just as long.
To pretend otherwise is presence.

If you're really adventurous, search "casting couch" online. Won't provide a link...Sorry. Don't want a permaban.

 

[billanole]

If you're really adventurous, search "casting couch" online. Won't provide a link...Sorry. Don't want a permaban.

I have a fairly good guess.

 

[BelemNole]

“I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other. Then I ask just the men: What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they've been asked a trick question. The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, 'I stay out of prison.' This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, 'Nothing. I don't think about it.' Then I ask women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands. As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine. Here are some of their answers: Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don't go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don't put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man's voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don't use parking garages. Don't get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don't use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don't wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don't take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don't make eye contact with men on the street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street.
― Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help”
That, my friends, is what it’s like to be thought of as prey.

 

[BelemNole]

Even people like Witherspoon and Lawrence? They have been huge stars for years, never a peep. Their careers would have been fine.

If the statue of limitations has run out the accuser is in more legal jeopardy than the accused.

 

[RangerNole]

If the statue of limitations has run out the accuser is in more legal jeopardy than the accused.

I guess that sounds like a cop out to me. I am quite certain if a bunch of women at the top of their career field and worth 100's of millions spoke out they would be fine. IMO this is similar to the PSU case where you had a serial pedophile, rapists or whatever and supposedly no one knew or had the courage to speak up. Sure that is believable. Throw in the fact that this group of people have no issue speaking out on almost any other topic, often telling us "common folk" how we need to act or be concerned about something and the whole thing is pathetic.

 

[noleclone2]

I guess that sounds like a cop out to me. I am quite certain if a bunch of women at the top of their career field and worth 100's of millions spoke out they would be fine. IMO this is similar to the PSU case where you had a serial pedophile, rapists or whatever and supposedly no one knew or had the courage to speak up. Sure that is believable. Throw in the fact that this group of people have no issue speaking out on almost any other topic, often telling us "common folk" how we need to act or be concerned about something and the whole thing is pathetic.

Why are you so hung up on making this just a Hollywood issue. Sexual harassment and assault is impacting women in the workplace way more than just movie starlets. And our whole society is full of hypocrisy when it comes to people with positions of power and wealth acting like complete scumbags, not just those mean “liberal Hollywood elites”. Finally, blaming the victims is weak. To use your PSU example, do you feel the same with how long it took those victims to speak up? I don’t think men understand how hard it would be to navigate sexual harassment and inappropriate touching by a person with power in a job and career you need. To report it meant likely giving up their career and so much trouble so they carried on.

 

[PoopandBoogers]

Whole lotta mansplaining and virtue signaling in this thread.

 

[noleclone2]

Whole lotta mansplaining and virtue signaling in this thread.

Whole lot of denial too. More perspective from women would be nice and welcomed, I agree. Sadly, we ran most of the women off...

 

[nynole1]

If the statue of limitations has run out the accuser is in more legal jeopardy than the accused.

Oh yeah,I can see it now: dozens of Hollywood women, including high profile stars, lineup to accuse Weinstein of sexual assualts that happened more then ten years ago...and they end up in court lol Come on, give me a break.

 

[TennNole17]

Small sample size:

But the women I work with, when asked, all rolled their eyes at the #metoo trend on Facebook and Twitter. Said it started as one thing and ended up as another.

Which was sorta my point at the beginning of the thread.

 

[TennNole17]

Oh yeah,I can see it now: dozens of Hollywood women, including high profile stars, lineup to accuse Weinstein of sexual assualts that happened more then ten years ago...and they end up in court lol Come on, give me a break.

Isn’t this basically what is happening now? Except “court” is a public withhunt and shaming (deserves)?

 

[kc78]

I think we only need to look at Bill Cosby to see why these women didn't speak up. How many women spoke up over the years only to be victimized again and called liars. Even today when we know how evil that man turned out to be, there's still so many people who want to claim the women are simply lying, out for money, etc...

I'm sick of men telling women how they're supposed to react when other men victimize them while they sit back doing nothing.

I'm sick of white people telling black people what an appropriate protest looks like while ignoring the cause of the protest.

I'm sick of people in power telling those on a lower power scale how they're supposed to handle things while ignoring them and continuing on happily.

If you want to be angry at someone other than just Weinstein (And there's ample reason to be), then be angry at the number of men who knew this happened but wanted access to the power, fame, and fun Weinstein offered everyone. Be angry at the studios who enabled him because he made them money. Be angry at the police departments who were aware but chose to not take action because he had the money and attorneys to fight them for years.

But to be angry at the women who were victimized? Yeah you can go somewhere else with that argument.

 

[TennNole17]

Who's angry at the women who were victimized?

 

[kc78]

Who's angry at the women who were victimized?

Those who keep saying that it's their fault for not speaking up. I think it's entirely right to point a finger at Hollywood in general and the silence, especially of those who could have spoken out safely for remaining silent, but I'm not going to point my finger at the women who have had to be held under his iron fist in ways that male actors have never had to deal with.

 

[TennNole17]

Those who keep saying that it's their fault for not speaking up. I think it's entirely right to point a finger at Hollywood in general and the silence, especially of those who could have spoken out safely for remaining silent, but I'm not going to point my finger at the women who have had to be held under his iron fist in ways that male actors have never had to deal with.

Terry Crews disagrees with your sentiment that only women were held hostage to a culture of silence. As do numerous 80's (male) child actors.

Then again, I guess I should refrain from commenting since I'm a (white)male and lack the female perspective, as you suggested.

 

[DanC78]

Who's angry at the women who were victimized?

Angry is a strong word, I think aggravated is a better word. Actresses Ashley Judd and Scarlett Johansen were both at a rally last year that was encouraging women to empower themselves and not take crap from men and things of that nature. If I'm not mistaken they were both victims of being sexually assaulted by Weinstien....(i could be off with my facts here, so please correct if so).

Looking back, it's aggravating to hear women like them preaching such a strong and powerful message to other women when they are not walking the walk.

it's minimal, but their message no becomes a do as say, and not a, do as I do message.

Again, it's minimal, but does have SMH.

 

[nynole1]

I think we only need to look at Bill Cosby to see why these women didn't speak up. How many women spoke up over the years only to be victimized again and called liars. Even today when we know how evil that man turned out to be, there's still so many people who want to claim the women are simply lying, out for money, etc...

I'm sick of men telling women how they're supposed to react when other men victimize them while they sit back doing nothing.

I'm sick of white people telling black people what an appropriate protest looks like while ignoring the cause of the protest.

I'm sick of people in power telling those on a lower power scale how they're supposed to handle things while ignoring them and continuing on happily.

If you want to be angry at someone other than just Weinstein (And there's ample reason to be), then be angry at the number of men who knew this happened but wanted access to the power, fame, and fun Weinstein offered everyone. Be angry at the studios who enabled him because he made them money. Be angry at the police departments who were aware but chose to not take action because he had the money and attorneys to fight them for years.

But to be angry at the women who were victimized? Yeah you can go somewhere else with that argument.

Is it possible for you to participate in one thread without demonizing white men? How do you even manage to get out of bed in the morning? lol

 

[nynole1]

Isn’t this basically what is happening now? Except “court” is a public withhunt and shaming (deserves)?

Sorry, not sure what you are trying to say here?

 

[Wendy79]

Read comments/tweets. Many, many, many women have reported harassment in the workplace. They were ignored, the men at worst got slaps on the wrist, others joined in on the harassment.

Police often focus their questioning on "what were you wearing, what did you say, how much did you drink, did you give him any indication you were interested." Some flat out don't believe victims. There are real horror stories out there.

That's great that your coworkers rolled their eyes at the #metoo thing. One of my friends, who I've known for almost 15 years, eventually posted #metoo and then replied saying she was hesitant because these viral things are dumb (and yes, they are) but given her experience with this issue (which she didn't elaborate on), she thought it was important. She's never given any indication she went through anything like this (beyond a crazy ex who threatened to kill her family).

There's a whole spinoff too. #whatabouthim or #himthough or something like that. Focus on the assailant.

 

[nynole1]

Read comments/tweets. Many, many, many women have reported harassment in the workplace. They were ignored, the men at worst got slaps on the wrist, others joined in on the harassment.

Police often focus their questioning on "what were you wearing, what did you say, how much did you drink, did you give him any indication you were interested." Some flat out don't believe victims. There are real horror stories out there.

That's great that your coworkers rolled their eyes at the #metoo thing. One of my friends, who I've known for almost 15 years, eventually posted #metoo and then replied saying she was hesitant because these viral things are dumb (and yes, they are) but given her experience with this issue (which she didn't elaborate on), she thought it was important. She's never given any indication she went through anything like this (beyond a crazy ex who threatened to kill her family).

There's a whole spinoff too. #whatabouthim or #himthough or something like that. Focus on the assailant.

Ive worked in sales my entire career and have witnessed some pretty bad things happen in and out of the office. I can also say with complete honesty that I have been on both sides of it, neither which I felt good about. I have made it my responsibility for reaching and apologizing for things I have said when I was in my mid 20s(I'll be 40 in Feb) because what I thought was just kidding around then isnt what I would consider a joke as I have gotten older. I have also made sure to have a zero tolerance policy towards that behavior when I started having people work for me, even firing one guy because he did something stupid. Seeing how upset the victim was really hit me hard.

 

[kc78]

Is it possible for you to participate in one thread without demonizing white men? How do you even manage to get out of bed in the morning? lol

White men run America and have been happily running the world their way without interference for centuries. As a white male, I think it's important to point out the evils we've perpetrated and allowed to continue unabated.